I feel bad for the way I ended things with Liz. If anything she was just what I had always wanted, a cute little girlfriend. Always smiling and laughing at my jokes like I'm Chris Rock.
But, I am a changed man. In my mind, I wanted someone else, someone who humiliated me and caused me to feel like I was being hurled inside a hurricane. Dark nights and bright days, Chloe was my dream.
Too early to declare my love for her.
As I walk out of my hostel I always keep one out for Liz, she has a way of appearing everywhere I go. At least, she is now calm about the heartbreak I served her.
It wasn't easy though, but luck.
On a Sunday, I was all out of things I could do in and out of hostel. I am not the type to get off campus absentmindedly and roam around the city without a destination.
So. I went near the lake to make sense of what it was made of. Then sat down on a bench a few steps away and started playing NFS no limits.
A couple of minutes later I heard a familiar voice call me from behind. I was taken aback, it was surprising.
My brown eyes locked with that of B. I never thought she would be interested in seeing me so openly now that I know she is a sophomore.
Stood up ready to shake her hand, instead she opened her arms ready to embrace me in a light hug. So did the three girls with her, I hardly saw them. The friends from before.
Anxiety was getting one up on me, why be that anxious about the girls so out of my league that maybe only talked to me out of pity?
I repeated the hug with the other girls, I could have been a pervert if I felt sexual attractive right there. But. I did, call me what you want.
Luckily, I didn't have a hard on.
The girls stared at me with so many emotions that I didn't figure out their conclusions. For one, it was a question, for another, it was a desire, and for B, it was just gratitude.
They welcomed themselves to sit.
One next to B, B to my left, another to my right and the last girl was behind the bench.
Anxiety to the side, my small heart was kicking out of control, mainly as I didn't know what to do or say. Again, I had girls on my side and back, I am a rockstar, my mind thought.
"I didn't catch your name last time we met", B started.
I felt my mouth dry so I whispered,"Kim"
"I'm B, there you have Al and Diane", she replied.
"Charlotte, A B C D, I know"
The girl behind me said, how did she know I was wondering where their names were leading to.
"They're joking, we are not sharing our names with you," the girl on my right said making me shift my eyes from the far front to her. They were joking, very not funny.
I offered a warm smile to the girl and shyly looked away. It was uncomfortable enough to sit next to four beautiful girls and sophomores no less.
I was wondering why they were there, not courageous to ask. Hoped they would spill.
Treaded carefully, stealing glance at B and the other girl next to me. The torture was getting the best of me, any minute now I was ready to run out of there.
The stares they exchanged and gave me made the place hot, surely intolerable. That's when they talked more, now coming from the girl behind the bench.
"Are we making you uncomfortable?"
"Okay, it's a freaky Friday, I am a bit phased,"tried to make my case uneasily.
The girls giggled,"I was showing you off to my friends, we will let you be"B said as she stretched her hand to grab her friend's. Finally, I would breath.
Bad timing, I saw Liz staring at us from the other side, how can I let the best chance to get her off me slip away. "I'm glad to meet them, sorry for how we met", escaped my lips.
B sat instantly, I faced her and saw her face like the first time. In the dark I failed to see her, can't say I saw hazel sharp eyes and baby hair. I hardly looked at their faces, afraid of what was already happening.
Looking away isn't my specialty, I kinda gets glued to anything I look at. Wow, you are really beautiful, I thought before she tore her eyes from me.
"You like staring,"B said. I know.
"Sorry"
"Don't be.
Uhm, keep the details of our little encounter to yourself, but just so you know...it was something"
"I will"
Liz had eyes on me, sheepishly I was observing her which made B ask,"girlfriend?"
"No! I mean, no"
It caught me off guard, would have said anything to save my skin while acting single as I was. The didn't care much, instead B whispered,"ex?"
I nodded.
They exchanged glances and giggles making me feel left out, what were they thinking of? That I m bad letting a girl like her go? I mean she's pretty but it doesn't rhyme with the bachelor life I want to live. Again, I had been introduced to higher-ups , it will be hard to be with a freshman.
"She was too much for him, look at her", the girl next to me said. We all stared at her, why?
"Is it true?", B questioned.
I blinked, hard to admit. ? I mean, she has sex drive of a rabbit on heat, and is really addictive. They're right
"How?"
I can't say that, would be embarrassment for a guy like me_tall and lifting weights_to admit defeat sexually. Blood heated, I might have overstayed my welcome between the girls.
"Uhm..."
"You are straining him, don't answer that", B was there to aid me once more. My knight in shining armor.
"Guys, I feel boredom creeping. I'm kinda hungry, let's be quick with it", the voice from behind said.
"Fine! I just wanted to hang with_ what is it?_ Kim he said? C'mon, take some pictures for our socials. You have used us to get rid of the ex", B concluded offering her phone to me.
Liz was gone, free at last.
I took the phone and followed the girls to the flowers and shades were I took countless pictures of them in singles, pairs and as a group. They knew how to pose, and I loved observing them from the phone.
B is sexy, exactly what I would have ordered if there was Build A Bitch company. The hair, the face , the perfect _but not full_ lips, the small nose, hazel eyes, the perfect body and cool.
I don't think there is any girl who can look that breathtaking in a blue dress. I could have jumped knew class if I knew it would have landed me on her laps. The other girls were jealous on the way I paid attention to her every move and synced with her body taking pictures.
They're beautiful, the quiet one has more defined features than B but not as sexy. She's my kind of girl, but she looked at me like a friend. Inside I was praying not to be 'friended' , not from her.
"Spill", B said at one point. Caught me deep in my thoughts, all about her.
I gave a ginger smile,"Nah! Just my trail of thoughts"
"I see. Wanna come with us , we're kinda done here", I was given an invite to the cool club.
"I'm lucky, would have said yes ten times, but...I think you want to friend zone me", I didn't intend to say that. Scared myself.
The girls were busy taking more pics.
"Keeping your hopes high, I admire that. But, let's face it, I'm never going to date you," her eyes meant it. I had just lost a girl of my dreams out if stupidity. Would have been better friends with her than nothing. She tapped my shoulder,"disappointed?"
"It is what it is"
"You sure do like me, you'll get over it.
To be clear, I'm not turning you down because you went down one, you know that.
You strike me as a friend type, don't beat yourself up about it. You'll grow to love that girlfriend of yours, she really seemed like she cares about you ", she finished."
I was disappointed, tattooed on my face. She did let me down slowly, but, can't say I didn't try. I asked, "you could have let me live that fantasy"
B laughed, the beauty before me made my heart ache knowing that I would never have her. Now that she had set it straight.
"Why give you false hope, c'mon now buddy", She said. That did hurt, taking time to moan loss of the greatest love that could have been was about right. I found myself thinking, only if Chloe was as straightforward on me measuring up to her early enough.
"Hope the girl you are thinking about right now is me, friend", B brought me to present. Gave her assuring smile.
As we rejoined the girls I caught sight of another out of my league interest of mine, the senior who saved me from the bullies. She was walking on the pavement coming to cross close to where we were, I couldn't help but look.
"Do not", B gave advice when she caught me staring.
"I know, another reject is all I need to hung myself. I wasn't thinking anything", I justified my stare. Hopefully, B believed me.
"Who is she?", I asked trying to fish for answers. I call her mystery girl, maybe they could help me put a name to the face.
They stare at me like a lunatic. How could they have assured them I wasn't dumb enough to think I had a shot with her. I'm not that delusional.
"She's Amelia", B replied measuring my curiosity with hers.
"Black Widow", B's friend added.
"Why?"
"Nobody is good enough for her, we don't exist", B answered as we observed her walk close by. I whished she would notice me, that would give bragging rights, but she didn't.
"Told you", B said leading the way.