Eleanor was silent.
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It was dark. Eleanor truly felt how dark this damned place was. Maybe it was the mentality of Rebecca at the time, but this place was lonely and scary. It was of course Rebecca who had been here last time, and she had already lost herself at the time; so she didn't really feel…scared.
But, right now it was Eleanor. Eleanor had many things she wanted to do. She had to shoulder the responsibility of many people. There were so many loose ends. So much to lose, so much to do, so many-
Unknowingly warm tears seemed to well up in Eleanor's eyes. Eleanor's vision became muddled and blurry. But, she did not cry…she felt as if her tears were un-needed, unrequired, unfulfilling…
"P-Please just tell me this is some kind of joke…P-please just-"
Eleanor gritted her teeth; she bit her lips, she felt like she was bleeding.
Eleanor looked in front of her. Like before, all she could see was the darkness of the void. The abyss was so dark that Eleanor felt it was too bright. The silence was extremely loud.
Eleanor looked at the ground; well she lowered her head as she closed her eyes.
She had failed again; to live a good life, to protect everyone, to be stronger, to be better…she…had failed again.
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Just moments prior she had just had an argument with the people she was supposed to be protecting, she was then unable to protect one of them from a disease she knew the cure for.
It was somehow a shittier life than her previous one.
"W-Why did you even bring up this topic…no why did you even say there was a cure when you knew…"
"…No…I'm leaving…I could be spending time with Violet instead of coming here…"
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Those words lingered in her mind. Eleanor wished she could go back in time, and rephrase her words, be more confident in herself, be stronger in her beliefs…If she hadn't just stayed quiet…if she managed to give them some more hope…
Maybe, just maybe, she could've avoided that disastrous situation and she could have given hope to them…But once again, that maybe would only be left as a maybe…
She was dead.
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Again.
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Eleanor felt a certain sense of déjà vu.
"I-I just wanted to help…"
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Eleanor looked around in the void. She didn't want to feel down again.
The void was the same as before. Eleanor felt as if she was drowning, yet she was floating.
Eleanor looked at her palm. As much as she wanted to forget all the memories she made in the last nine years…she just couldn't. Countless emotions rushed into her heart, but that was all…she couldn't do anything anymore. It felt like the end, a dead-end.
She was dead…
"The dragon…If only…if only my heart wasn't like that…if only I could calm down my heart at the moment…if I could compose myself then…maybe I could have lived…", Eleanor spoke up.
Eleanor had no idea what had caused her heart to go haywire. Of course, she was fighting a dragon but that was no reason for her heart to be so…scared. This wasn't the first time she had fought a dragon so, she shouldn't have been this worried.
CRRR-
A tearing sound came from the void.
Eleanor was taken aback. She turned around to see the cause of the sound. Even when God came to meet her, there was hardly any sound, and at that time Eleanor felt immense drowsiness and pain. But, what was this sound?
Eleanor's eyes landed on the cause of the sound.
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Silence. Eleanor was terrified at what she was seeing.
It was a tear in space. The total darkness, the void, was tearing right in front of her.
The tear was about 2 meters long. It wasn't like a hole in the void, but it looked like it had been cut by a sword. The tear seemed to mend itself as if it was being sewn back together.
Eleanor amidst the chaos tried to grab the tear in the void in front of her. But, as soon as her hands came close to it, it seemed to move farther away. Eleanor tried to grab it again before it sewed itself back. Eleanor tried to push herself towards the tear. However, as soon as Eleanor caught the tear it seemed to be farther away. Was it like the light at the end of the tunnel? It never seemed to be in grasp even when it was in front of one.
Suddenly, something happened. The tear began to rip violently and Eleanor felt immense pain throughout herself.
VRRR-GRRR-CRRR-
Many types of sounds began to come from the tear as it slowly opened.
Eleanor grabbed her chest…she suddenly realized that she couldn't grab herself…or rather, she did not have a body.
"WHAT!?", Eleanor screamed as loud as she could.
Suddenly the tear which was just a small slit before opened wide. Eleanor felt immense pain throughout herself as she was pained while looking at the tear.
The other side of the tear was…empty? There was nothing there.
Now, the edges of the tear looked like it was drawn on a black sheet of paper with white. It just had its edges…nothing more.
Eleanor looked at the tear…
"Ha-ha hahaha", Eleanor laughed.
"Are you playing with me? Are you trying to make me fall into despair?", Eleanor asked as she ran out of breath, she was still in pain.
The pain felt…instinctual. It had no origin, as Eleanor seemed to have no other parts than her hands that she could see. Eleanor just felt pain.
But, as soon as the words left her mouth, the white edges of the tear began to close. It seemed to be mending itself back.
"N-NO!", Eleanor tried standing back up.
She pushed with her left hand.
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Suddenly…it was gone…
Eleanor seemed to fall, unable to do anything more…
Eleanor's left hand was gone…removed from reality…
The tear closed rapidly. And Eleanor could do nothing but to see the slit-like tear in the void begin to close.
"I-"
Now, not even Eleanor's voice seemed to come out.
She tried and tried again. She had lost her ability to speak…or rather she did not have a mouth.
She only had one arm left. Eleanor was now back in the dark…or was it that she did not have eyes? Who knew what her predicament was?
She looked down to make sure she still had her right arm. Her hand moved near her head as they touched the necklace…then they moved upwards and touched her eyes…They were still there.
Thankfully it seemed that she still had the ability to see and still had her right arm.
She looked back at the exact spot where the slit was. It was now filled with darkness as if it was never there, to begin with.
She stared at the place, boring a hole in that exact place with her eyes
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Nothing happened.
She continued to stare at it.
But alas, it had the same outcome.
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I…give up...
Those words began to fill her mind.
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It was somehow a shittier life than her last one as Rebecca.
She couldn't even reach a thousandth of Rebecca's ability. She couldn't even protect the promise she made to her brother…
"Ok sister, come back safely"
She was haunted by her brother's voice.
I…g-give up…I-I'm s-so sorry…
It was painful.
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"Are you sure?"
A small voice came from behind her. It was a familiar deep voice…It was Elin's?
She quickly turned around to see…Elin? She couldn't see Elin's face or his body…in fact; she didn't know what 'Elin' would look like since he was a literal suit of armor, but she was sure, this voice, it was Elin's. She couldn't see anything about Elin. It was as if some sort of filter was blocking her view of Elin so that she could only make a vague image of Elin.
The image was blurry but it was definitely Elin.
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How are you here? H-how can you even be here?
"Why are you giving up? Are you going to leave everyone here?"
I-
…
I-I don't know.
"A second chance at life and you're giving up this easily?"
...
Then tell me what else can I do? I am already in purgatory…WHAT…can I do more…
"Why are you so sure you are dead? Did you not say that you were in purgatory? A place in between life and death?"
I…can't…I-
"Eleanor…you're strong, strong enough to defeat anyone and anything. So, do not doubt yourself. Don't give up."
Elin seemed to smile as he disappeared into the infinite void.
N-No, don't leave me. P-Please…
Please…
please…
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please…
It was a plea for help, but nothing happened.
She looked at the ground again. She was once again alone. She was now questioning her sanity…
Was there ever a tear? Was the last 9 years of her life a lie? Was Elin ever there to begin with?
Her world seemed to go even darker. She wanted to close her eyes and rest. She wanted to give up.
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Don't give up.
You are strong.
Do not doubt yourself.
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Eleanor stood back up. Eleanor couldn't give up yet…not without trying.
Eleanor clasped her hand. She focused on her fist. She focused on her right hand and she felt something.
A sword.
The same sword that Rebecca held. The sword whose hilt was ordained with a small dragon decoration. It was broken. The dragon decorative piece was nowhere to be seen.
Eleanor looked at the sword, overwhelmed with emotions.
Eleanor looked ahead. Now she had to try.
Eleanor raised her hand above. She focused on her hand. She needed to cut the void…no…she had to…she would cut it…
I will cut it.
[Veritas]
SHHHHHHHHHH-
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Something happened.
The void was gone.
Eleanor was somewhere. She was on a bed, a broken bed. The windows were broken, and streaks of light that illuminated the room were deep orange. There was a small battered up drawing table besides Eleanor, where the necklace was laid carefully. There was moss on the floor and the ceiling. The room had a very distinct smell, a smell of the earth…an open field. Some sort of bluish-white flowers was flowering near the bed. It was a lotus? It seemed like a lotus, but it couldn't have been there…
Eleanor looked around. She looked at the broken door whose hinges seemed to barely work as the door tilted to one side, the spider webs were torn as if someone had opened the door hastily.
Eleanor tried to move her body, but it hurt. It was painful, not as much as she had felt before…but it was painful.
Eleanor looked down and saw that all of her limbs were bandaged up. She seemed to have broken most of her bones and torn most of her muscles too.
Eleanor looked outside the broken window.
It was beautiful. So beautiful.
Eleanor was alive. She wasn't dead.
Eleanor's eyes began to tear up. Her bandages began to get soaked as all her pent-up emotions began to flood her mind.
She was alive.
She could protect everyone now.
She could keep her promise.
Eleanor's head slouched as more and more tears began to fall down her face.
She tried to make a sound only for dry-course coughs and moans to be heard. The tears ran down her pearl-white skin as they began to redden, more and more.
It was painful when her voice came out, it was painful when the tears welled up in her eyes, it was painful when those tears hit her bandaged-up arms, and it was painful when her heartbeat, again and again, told her she was alive.
It was so painful.
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It was a beautiful evening.
***