It has been about a week since our lunch. A week that I couldn't stop thinking about our time together. The same week that made me wish that it could've lasted longer.
At first, it was awkward, we both didn't know what to say and if we did, the conversation would end short, quiet falls again. But I guess we were both on guard with each other. It's something that I can understand, we barely know each other and to agree to go eat out with him would make anyone feel iffy.
At first, I was hoping he would make the lunch unbearable or do something stupid but no. It was like he was careful of his actions and words. The beginning of lunch was clumsy but slowly we got comfortable enough and had a decent chat.
Just remembering how he stuttered so many times always] made me laugh. Imagine an intimidating man like him, stuttering and getting embarrassed, how can one not find that cute?
I can honestly say that it was fun the lunch and hanging out at the park. I never knew one can feel relaxed around another person. From what I learned, being around something has always been draining and uncomfortable, not including Tanner, he's a special case.
I hate the fact that I want to hang out with him again. I hate myself even more when he asked if we can do that again and I said to make sure the place is not too hot or cold. That is basically saying that I, too, want to spend more time with him. It's already too late to back out now.
As I thought I couldn't be more amazed that one small exchange of him letting me know when he got home, would turn into a whole week of texting each other. It might not have been a full-blown conversation, just simple: have you eaten? how was your day? Or like I'm just getting home, type texting.
No matter how much I denied the fact that I'm starting to enjoy these moments, I have to constantly remind myself that I can't get used to it. Something bad is bound to happen and I'll be damned if I let myself get hurt all over again.
Yet, the back of my mind is screaming at me about a big what-if, not only that, there is an attraction that I feel a pull towards him. I'm afraid I am going to just let go and let my individual explore with this person, not thinking about the consequences.
That is what terrifies me to my core, that I will let myself fall victim to this strong attraction, acting a fool.
No. I will let myself enjoy this new encounter but I will never fall into his arms.
Today is Kamora's party, Tanner went to visit his family for the weekend. Without him here, I never realized how quiet my apartment really is. That bastard, he made me used to his loudness without realizing it. It seems I'm going to have to teach him a lesson.
Well at the same time, I don't have to worry about him fangirling over something that isn't going to happen and being all up in my business.
I had prepared my DJ equipment together, putting it by the door--as I'm chilling on the couch trying to take my mind off things.
That didn't last long when I heard my phone ding. Reaching over to the coffee table, I saw who text making me sit up so fast.
"Shit, I forgot he was her brother," I curse out loud. Opening his message, I read it over for him telling me the party starts at seven, asking when I plan on coming over. Letting at the time I saw it was almost two.
Seeing how I still have time, I texted him back, that I'll be there two hours early. I gave him a brief explanation of how the equipment is kinda heavy and takes a little time to prepare.
"Plus with the new address, it's gonna take me a little extra time," I thought out loud, finishing messaging him.
Not even a second, he texts back asking if he can call me. I swear my heart almost leap out of my chest. Why would he ask me something like that? Why does he need to call when we are texting?
Fuck, what is the jittery feeling?
With shaky fingers, I barely was able to text him that can, pressing send. I threw my phone on my couch. Who would have thought I'm scared of my own phone?
All of a sudden my phone ring loudly, making me jump out of my skin.
"He couldn't at least warn me?" I mutter under my breath.
The sound of my phone continuing to ring broke me out of my thoughts. Reaching for it, I stop mid-way, opening and closing my hand.
Shit man, why is this so hard? Just answer it for christ sake. It's not even that serious. With my newfound confidence, I picked up my phone and answered, waiting for him to talk first.
"Kaname?" fuck man, his voice--no stop.
I cleared my throat, "I'm here,"
" Hi, so I was thinking that since you said your equipment is heavy and I'm going to be at the party, I was--ah, umm--well, wondering if you would like me--ah, you up and we can together?" he stuttered. I tried not to laugh at his clumsy way of asking. Ignoring the fact he missed some words.
Just as I was about to agree right away, I stopped myself. that butterfly in my stomach died down when I remember that I can't get in too deep with him.
" No thanks, I'll manage. I'll just see you at the party."
"Ah, yes, I see. No problem. I'll see you then. Bye."
"Bye," we hung up.
I couldn't help this weird feeling in my stomach when I turn him down. It was like he was disappointed. No that can't be. I'm just thinking about this too hard. Going back to relax, but knew it would be difficult so instead decided to take a shower.
Thirty minutes before I had to leave, I started to bring my things to my car. Once I finished, I started my engine, after I texted Kimora that I am heading her way.
~~~~~~~~
Fifteen minutes into the drive, my mind starts to wonder what her house would look like. Seeing her brother, I can't help to feel like his parents have money as well.
"I'm guessing their place is big..." I trailed off. I wonder what he would wear, something casual maybe? Or a suit? Well, if he wears a suit that means he came right after work.
Then again it's not my business, let's stop--huh? I looked around. Looking back at the GPS, it still said I'm going in the right direction.
"How come I didn't notice trees around?" I wondered but brushed it off. Driving further down the road, the GPS voice came on telling me to right.
Following its direction, the road was curvy, For about five minutes I came to a stop, seeing a very big gate. It has to be one of the most pretty gates I have ever seen.
Snapping out of my daze, I called Kimora, letting her know I'm outside the gate. Soon after the gates open, making me hang up after her telling me she is waiting outside.
"Holy fucking hell, this is a whole mansion alright." I whistled. It reminds me of a mini castle.
Parking my car, I got out, only to hear squealing, catching my attention. There she was, as she said she would be, waiting for me outside. Her happiness and excitement very much took over her whole body.
"DJ Kan!" she ran up to me, "I'm glad you made it! I'll have someone help you with your stuff." She rushed out. Before I could get a word out, I saw people coming out of nowhere, walking past me.
I couldn't help to feel a little overwhelmed, it was all happening so fast.
"Come come! you gotta meet my parents first," she said, motioning me over. Right, time for my professional face.
I followed her inside, looking around
"Damn, to live like this," I thought, it was so shiny, with two stairs, curving upward. It was like everything in here was made out of marble and glass. I wouldn't be surprised if the gold lining was actually gold.
"Ah! Welcome, you must be DJ Kan my daughter hired," said a soft voice. Looking at the source I saw an older lady, she was absolutely beautiful, she was like an older version of Kimora. I can see where she got her looks from.
"Hello, Ma'am, I am grateful for getting the chance to play at your daughter's party." I flash my best business smile.
"Oh my, aren't you quite the looker."
"Thank you, Ma'am, but it doesn't compare to your beauty. I can see where your daughter got it from," I complimented. It seems to be going well since she is all smiles and laughs. I got to say this woman has a warm aura around her. It reminds me of how my mother used to be warm like this.
After our little conversation, the mother leads me outside showing me around a little before stopping where my stuff was placed. I thanked her before she left, leaving me to prepare.
"Let's get ready for this party," I encourage myself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Let's give a shout-out to the birthday girl!" I screamed into the mic, loud cheers everywhere. The beats I put together is a huge success. Everyone is dancing, jumping, and having a good time in general.
After my time was finished, I wish a big happy birthday to Kimora, she only turn 18 once. Right after I step off the mini-stage, A couple of people came up to me asking to take my picture or taking. a picture with them.
It seems some found out who I am. I had to wait for the party to be over so I can get my things, so I just hung around.
My plan was to stay away from the crowds, hoping to become invisible but that went out the window when a random guy came up striking up a conversation with me.
I got to admit, he is quite handsome but if I was to compare him to Axel...let's not go in this direction.
This random guy isn't so bad as I thought, he seems nice, a little flirty, but nice company.
"Hey, would you like to go to a quieter place?" he asked.
"Umm, I'm fine here, thanks tho." I decline gently. He didn't give up. He put his hand on my arm, instinctively flinching at the touch.
I laughed nervously, moving back a little but he came closer, leaving his hand on my arm.
"I want to hear you better and spend some time together." he pushed further.
"Yea, I don't want that so..." I trailed off, trying to remove his hand but his grip tighten, alarms going off. Looking up at the guy he kept a smile on his face but I knew that smile was anything but nice.
Before anything escalated the hand that was tight around my arm seemed to disappear. Confused I turn and stood there I could not have been more relieved to see him.
"Leave," was the only thing he said making the guy scrubbed away.
"Axel? Ahem--thanks..." I didn't know what to say after that. It was that uncomfortable silence but more than that, I felt ashamed that he found me in that situation.
"Hey, it's okay. Don't make that face." He said, softly gripping my chin, lifting my head in his direction.
Only those eyes saw me as a person.
Who would have thought we would have spent the entire time together? But one question kept replaying in my head: Why is he talking to me? What is making him keep wanting to know me?
It's dangerous.