"Hello, there."
I freeze as I turn around to look at the voice. Before, they can say anything else I ask in a flat tone.
"So, which one are you?"
The figure is made of a cream coloured light in the shape of a human.
"Pardon?"
The hazy figure says in a curious voice.
"Which Deity are you? As far as I know there are hundreds."
They let out a chuckle at my question.
"Not one of the ones from the world you currently find yourself in."
The expression on my face becomes tense asked.
"Oh, so you're from earth?"
The smirk on his incorporeal face widens.
"The one and only."
A scowl appears on my face.
"Fuck you."
A shocked expression appears on his face.
"S-Sorry…?"
I just keep the same look on my face as I increase my volume.
"FUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUU!!! Do I need to spell it for you in plain English. F, U, C, K. Y, O, U. Fuck You."
His voice turns to one of scolding.
"I'm sorry but that response is not exactly fair on me is it."
A look of anger appears on my face as I shout.
"I'm sorry, what the fuck did you just say you little shit. If you claim the be the one and only god of earth then the very least you deserve is a, FUCK YOU. Got it."
He then tries to defend himself.
"We…"
But I'm not in the mood with recent events.
"I'm not done yet."
I scream at the top of my voice as waves of anger radiate from me manifesting themselves in my dreamscape. Once I finish screaming my breathing intensifies as a look fear appears on their face once they see my deranged appearance.
"You are telling me doing that is not fair."
He says in a petrified tone as the waves of anger and seething hatred intensify the pressure on him.
"How about me, age fourteen. When my best…"
My breath catches as tears begin to roll down my face. I wipe the tears away as I steady myself preparing to let it all out at this self-proclaimed god.
"When my best friend Holly, dies from a disease that was easily curable, but it just got missed by the doctors. Was that fair."
I say, but he then he then tries to interrupt my diatribe.
"You can't j…"
No, he has no right to.
"Shut Up. Do you think it was fair watching my mum in the hospital after an entitled cunt, rear ended her after texting to his affair partner and not paying attention at the junction. Then watching her stuck in a wheelchair as she slowly become a narcissistic A-Hole from her brain damage that got progressively worse."
He then tries to speak but I don't even let him open his mouth.
"Do you think it was fair watching as my dad slowly drink himself to death as the girl he loved slowly, piece by piece died over a decade."
I slowly begin to sob more and more as all the emotions I've bottled up for decades escape into the soul space. Now not just ripples of anger but waves of regret, sadness, melancholy and wistfulness overwhelm the aura of anger I was emanating. I am almost mentally exhausted from recalling so many memories, but I push on for some unknown reason.
"Or my uncle who had a bullet go through his head in a carjacking, the only person I had to lean on after Holly died, since both my parents weren't."
This time they just remain silent, not daring to interrupt.
"My… I mean me. Me, being bullied my whole childhood just because I was slightly abnormal and smarter than everyone else."
I know that this was a bad move to talk to a god like this, but I just feel at a loss.
"Or do you think it was Fair to her, Sam. After over a decade I finally had room within myself to open up and lower the walls I had built around myself. And again, life failed me. She was raped by to drunk kids who were barley out of school. Then beaten within an inch of her life. And do you know the worst bit. I was the suspect. I understand why they suspected me. Heavily damaged, on tons of meds. She was awake, for a few hours she was out of the coma. I could have said goodbye before she drifted off for the last time. But her parents believed the police. I get it. You wouldn't want your daughter's rapist near her."
My mind broke as I began to fall into a loop as for the second time in my existence I snapped.
"Bu-But. Buut. B, b…"
I broke down and just sobbed for what felt like ages. I felt a warmth embrace me. It slowly pieced my mind back together. I saw the chunks of my collapsed mindscape slowly come and slot back into place.
When my consciousness began to function again. I saw the hazy white figure holding me in a protective embrace covering me as if to shield me from my surroundings.
I looked around to see the pure black surrounding instead made up of a grey cloudy substance filled with cracks.
I then heard their voice again.
"Stay in this place. Just for a while. Let me fix the damage that was caused by that cursed world."
I just slowly close my eyes again and drift back into a sleep in which I don't dream.
…
Once I wake up, I find myself on a soft fluffy thing. I look down to see that the previously grey substance has turned white.
I sat up as my body begged to be let back to its peaceful slumber but stood up anyway.
I then heard the voice come from behind me.
"May we start anew."
I just nodded as two solid round clouds floated up and formed something akin to bean bags with a wave of his hands.
"I'm sorry."
Was the first thing he said to me.
"I'm sorry as well. If you had the power to fix things then I know someone would, I can feel that from when you embraced me."
He just nodded and then began to speak.
"Firstly, I've not spoken with another being for hundreds of years and I was wrong in how I acted at first."
I then responded with.
"You seem really remorseful for a god."
He just chuckles at that, then states.
"You want to know the true nature of gods…?"
I just shrug.
"You mortals look up to us like were some kinds of higher beings. While yes, some worlds have that, the majority of them are like me. We are just physical manifestations of our believers. Say a god of war who has mainly followers from one kingdom. He is young, brash. He puts blessings down on warriors and encourages them to fight. So, the kingdom goes to war.
Then they lose. The people become resentful of their god for leading them into a war. They become haters of war. The god must therefore adapt and become like the worshippers or lose all worship and become dormant and another god will take their place."
I just nodded and then asked.
"What about you?"
He just sighs seeming reluctant to tell me, but I just continue to look at him with a curious gaze.
"Well, you see I was just this newly born god of mischief on this one world and well, you see I may have upset the equivalent of Odin with a really bad prank, and he cast me out since he held authority over all the gods in his pantheon. I spent who knows how long wondering the world between worlds until I found what if fought at the time was a newly born world that had yet to create a god of its own."
He then takes a deep breath. He looks like a guy who is drunk at a bar unloading the weight of his life choices on a complete stranger. To be fair I did the exact same but still.
"As soon as I entered the world, I realized my mistake. This was a medium sized world that was somehow populated by a few billion."
His head now lowered as he seemed to hesitate about what he said next.
"The reason I'm telling you this is that I am the culmination of all of humanities emotions, their experiences and their greatest fears. I'm just glad that your race has lighter then dark, or I would have become an evil god which shall I say is painful."
We both sit in silence for a few minutes.
"Thank you, for telling me that. My whole life I've been let down and now that I have more people, I care about I constantly feel fear for what is bound to happen. I know that isn't how it works but my life is proof to the contrary."
He just had a look of pondering at my words before he answered.
"Then don't let it."
I just double take at his words.
"S-Sorry?"
He just shrugs and speaks.
"Then don't, this world is extremely vast, and you have infinite potential. I can't give you an element as earth itself lacks that system of power since it is only a medium world but that actually serves to your advantage."
I'm just puzzled at this point, so I try and clarify.
"So, you're saying it's my responsibility to protect them."
He just shakes his head and continues.
"No, that would be stupid. You can't protect everyone, and that attitude would just be toxic and harmful. I'm saying do everything you can to protect them but move on. Don't forget them but don't let them hold you back."
I just smirk, this talk had been great but one thing still nagged at me.
"Oh, why am I in a different world?"
If I had to defeat a demon lord or something then... He just scratched the back of his head and spoke.
"Well…you see I may have messed around with the reincarnation cycles. I needed a soul I was bonded to, to be able to leave the world which I was bonded to. I can never totally leave earth, but I can expand my influence. That's where you came in. I just needed your soul not to be wiped clean when it reentered the river of reincarnation."
I just nod, motioning him to continue.
"I made a mistake however and I chose a soul that's mentality had broken recently before it died."
I had a flashback shoot through my mind as shots echoed in my mind and I shivered. He continued not knowing my inner thoughts.
"Basically, your soul has only been held together this entire time by the energy of your soul, that's why you couldn't use any spirit abilities with your sword."
I just smirk at that.
"So, there's no catch to me being in this world, I can do whatever I want."
He just nodded.
"Good because if you had asked me to kill a demon lord or something then I would have said no. I've long lost my faith in humanity. I won't abandon the bits I care about. But everyone else can just fuck off or die."
I just chuckle to myself, while he just looked at me with a raised brow. I then decided to glean as much information as possible from him.
"So, before I go. Could you explain my powers like the other gods would have to whomever they appeared to."