Chereads / Divine Throne Of Gourmet Food / Chapter 10 - Chapter 10 Udie

Chapter 10 - Chapter 10 Udie

In the east of South Hill city, there is a small funeral parlor named "Life Pass Away", which is run by Mr Luo. His son, Luo Feng, is one year older than Fang Tang. It was because he repeated one grade in elementary school, he and Fang Tang became classmates. But Luo Feng was not a slow or mischievous boy. The reason he was asked to repeat the grade was that he had been obsessed with cultivation from childhood.

Because his father runs a funeral parlor, he has been exposed to various deaths since childhood. According to Luo Feng, he has seen too many dead bodies, such as the swollen drowning bodies, the dead bodies from suicide jumps with brains flowing out, the almost crushed dead bodies from car accidents, and etc.

After seeing so many dead bodies, instead of getting accustomed to it, Luo Feng became more and more afraid of death. Each time he saw the pale dead body lying in the coffin, the suffocation feeling overwhelmed him. Sometimes, he felt those dead people were whispering in his ear: "Sooner or later, you will lie here, too..." Even though he was just a little boy, the pressure of death was already in him. In his childhood, each time he watched Journey to the West on TV, he would envy those people on that show because they could live thousands of years after eating a holy peach, or they could be immortal after eating a piece of Tang Monk's flesh.

Once he told Fang Tang: "I think the Li Shimin, the emperor of Tang dynasty, was a fool."

Fang Tang asked with confusion: "Why would you think so?"

"If he didn't allow Tang Mon to go to the West for Buddhist Sutra, but to eat this monk, he would still be the emperor till now. Then we would live under his reign." Luo Feng answered with a great pity.

After hearing his answer, Fang Tang didn't know what to say.

All these showed his deep sense of life and death. He was already fascinated with cultivation at that time, wishing to be an immortal so that he wouldn't worry about death any more. Therefore, he has started to study all kinds of books on cultivation since then. In mathematics classes, he would use the math book as a cover of his cultivation book The Great Cultivation of the Taoist Canon Mystery. And the consequence was that he had to repeat the grade. But he still fortunately graduated from elementary school.

A big change happened to Luo Feng in middle school. He was no longer that student who managed to graduate from elementary school by cheating in the exam. He became a straight-A student, which surprised many of his former teachers and classmates. About his sudden changes, that's a secret only Luo Feng and Fang Tang know.

Fang Tang was riding an e-bike to "Life Pass Away", and got there at 3:30pm. There was only one hall being used to hold funeral. And the entire funeral parlor seemed a bit empty and lonely.

"Life Pass Away" is a time-honored brand. Unlike other industries, there won't be regular customers to patronize a funeral parlor. After all these years, the equipment in this parlor is outdated, and the halls are a bit narrow too. Therefore, its business is declining.

In particular, there was a funeral parlor named 'Recall' opened in front of Luo Feng's last year. "Recall" is the top funeral parlor group in S Province. It has chain shops in each city and county of this province. Besides, the well financial situation of that group ensured that each of its shop is equipped with gorgeous decoration, complete facilities, and good-looking service personnel. This was like the last straw to "Life Pass Away", and made its already poor business get worse.

Fang Tang was quite familiar with this place, he bypassed the hall and walked to the office asking: "Is Luo Feng here?"

"Hey, little Fang. Little Luo is having a conference now." Most of the staff are familiar with Fang Tang because he often comes here to look for Luo Feng.

He went upstairs to the 2nd-floor conference room quietly. Everyone in the conference room was in contemplation so that no one noticed him.

"In face of this fierce competition, we must come up with some new ideas to survive. This task is on your shoulders, because you are all young and flexible. Be serious about this and try hard to give me some useful suggestions, or we will be fucked!" Mr Luo was calling all the employees to work on this current difficulty while worries were all over his face.

"How about refitting it? We can make a ACG culture themed funeral hall with Doraemon shaped paper folds, and wreaths in the shape of Transformers." a young man, in a t-shirt with the pattern of One Piece, suggested.

"There is no money for refining it." said Mr Luo.

"We need a new hearse, ours often stalls at the half way. Last time it stalled on a day with a 40-degree Celsius temperature, the corpse in our car was like being baked in the oven. And those families of the deceased were going to beat me because of that." Hearse driver, Wang Jianguo, complained.

"No money." Mr Luo refuted their suggestions with the same excuse.

"Bring up some different ideas! Don't limit yourself! Money isn't the only and best solution. Brain storm…yes, you should brainstorm and open your mind…use that …that so-called internet thinking." Mr Luo took a hard draw on his cigarette then said this with disappointment towards them.

"What if launch an app, so that customers can place their order for funeral service and show their filial piety online?" Luo Feng, who sat next to Mr Luo, whispered to him.

Mr Luo clapped his thigh and agreed: "Great idea, that's very impressive and fashionable!"

"Add a function like Uber, so that they can use GPS of their cellphone to send us the location and let us carry their coffin to the cemetery?" driver Wang Jianguo was inspired as well. It seems like he often drives the hearse to provide taxi service so as to earn some extra money. His passengers might piss on their pants at night if they knew that this so-called taxi carries corpses in the daytime.

"Good! These are what I need from you, the unconventional ideas. We will use the online to online model, so that people can buy funeral service as well as gravesite visit service online. That's a really targeted service for painful customer!" Mr Luo praised. Since his thigh was a little bit painful from that heavy clap, he now clapped the table to show his excitement.

"Congratulations for getting 20 coupons, you can share them with your friends who are dying."

"If you die now, you'll get 20% off and enjoy the service of free corpse transferring."

"As our new customer, you'll have 100 RMB discount."

"Scan our QR code, and you will have the chance to get a free cremation."

"Share our mourning hall picture in your WeChat zone to collect likes, those with 100 likes will get a free urn. Forward our advertisement in your blog, you will get a free mahogany coffin if your blog is forwarded 999 times."

"If you need a funeral for two people, find us and get one for free! Invite your friends to subscribe to our website. You'll get free hell money. Now, we have a lovers' package to help you save more!"

"Show your attendance on our website each time and you'll get a free wreath and paper fold."

"Purchase a 'Death Late' insurance before you die, you'll get a full refund after unexpected recovery. Besides, we will order you a free reunion dinner as a congratulation."

"Share one cemetery to save the land as well as your expense."

"Use the function 'Shake It', and find the tomb of your deceased friends."

"Three of your deceased cellphone contacts are 500 meters far, do you want to get there and pay a visit?"

"Buy Blue Diamond Music service, you can enjoy 15 dirges. Great Compassion Mantra played by eminent monks is free to download in limited time."

"Available to choose tombstone design in our online store, and each season, the tombstone design will focus on a different theme. Don't miss the chance!"

"Open an annual VIP account, you're free to have tomb disco and hearse drifting service."

"These ideas are excellent, now think of a proper name, then we can start financing. This market is yet in need of development." Mr Luo got more and more excited after hearing so many good suggestions. This time his hands got painful by clapping on the table, so he turned to clap on Luo Feng's shoulder to show his rejoice.

"How about use an English name 'Udie'?" accountant Skinny Li pushed his glasses up and suggested.

"Wonderful! No wonder you graduated from a prestigious university, you're indeed smart! That's a nice name." Mr Luo made his final decision in the conference "Luo Feng, you need to make a PPT about the ideas we have and form a systematic plan. I will show it to my friends who are majored in finance and let them make an objective appraisal. Our goal is to get our company listed on NASDAQ!"

Luo Feng took this task unwillingly. Wang Jianguo's phone rang at that time, he answered the phone and came back: "Boss, it's police Zhang. We get a business now."

Hearing that they have a business, Mr Luo finally ended the meeting. But he asked his secretary Dong to stay with him and make a further plan on the new journey of making funeral parlor an online business.

Luo Feng didn't know that Fang Tang was sitting at the corner of this office until the meeting was over: "Oh, man! You're sitting here throughout this meeting? It must be a joke to you."

"No, I was actually learning from you all. Your father is really something. He has a good business sense, and I believe that he will make it!" Fang Tang said this in a mischievous way.

"I don't think so." Luo Feng shook his head and walked out.

"Luo Feng, Have a little confidence in your dad." Fang Tang walked upstairs with him.

"Aren't we going to the kitchen?" asked Fang Tang questioningly when they stopped at the third floor.

"I will show you my latest achievements first!" Luo Feng gave him a mysterious smile.