The next morning, at the entrance of the apartment complex.
"Husband, how do I look?"
Father Yan was slumped on the back seat, yawning for the eighteenth time, and said weakly, "Beautiful, beautiful…"
The old and beautiful Madam Zeng Cui looked in the mirror, again and again, finally deciding on whether the bangs that fell on her forehead should be pushed to the left or the right. Then she took out the lipstick from her cosmetic bag and applied it, looked at herself from a distance of half a meter, and was finally satisfied.
"Let's go, let's go, we can't be late," Mother Yan nudged Father Yan with her elbow and got out of the car while carrying the greeting gift for her daughter-in-law.
Father Yan, who was woken up by his wife at six in the morning, exerted all his strength to barely climb out of the back seat, and looking at the rising sun in the eastern sky, he cried without tears: "I thought we only came to each lunch…"
"Oh, what do you know? It's our first time seeing our daughter-in-law, how can we let them wait? Courtesy is the most important!" Mother Yan said goodbye to the driver, only to feel that all the pores on her body were very comfortable and she was in high spirits. Waking up early in the morning, the silk dress that had been steam ironed eighteen times by the housemaid was evenly trimmed, making her seem ten years younger out of thin air, and even her steps were brisk like a dance, "Besides, I have saved up so much to ask my daughter-in-law, who I haven't met in more than 30 years. When are they going to get engaged? Can they get the certificate at the end of the year? Where will the wedding be? When will they have children? How many children will they have? Which elementary school will the child attend? Junior high school? High school? Will they study abroad in the future, at Harvard or Oxford? I can spend three days and three nights speaking to her, so what's the big deal with arriving here three hours early!"
Father Yan didn't know whether to laugh or cry: "Your son only said that he is living with someone now. He didn't even say whether it was the girl who opened the KTV, and you started calling her your daughter-in-law?"
"Can I still not understand the son I gave birth to? The higher the profile, the more unreliable he is. It's this kind of attitude of trying to hide things that's really problematic." Mother Yan snorted at her husband, and couldn't help smiling: "—I think he was probably afraid that we would look down on the girl, so he didn't dare to say it directly, and decided to surprise us covertly. If you don't believe me, just wait and see!"
Father Yan snorted, only to see his wife carrying a pair of carefully selected men's and women's watches and entering the elevator of the apartment building while doing a little foxtrot happily.
Meanwhile, on the top floor of the apartment building.
The first rays of sunlight passed through the gaps in the curtains and fell on the messy large bed in the guest bedroom as if a pale golden band of light extended out through the curtains. Jiang Ting's eyelashes moved, and he slowly opened his eyes. After a few seconds of confusion, his eyes finally slowly focused and he looked down.
The weight running across his waist was indeed… a familiar arm.
He suddenly turned over: "When did you come here?"
Yan Xie's upper body was naked outside the air-conditioning blanket, and his eyes were closed. He smacked his lips and reached out to hold Jiang Ting's head, pressing it tightly against his chest. : "Sleep a little longer…"
Jiang Ting was caught off guard and bumped into a strong and fiery chest of the same sex, with almost his entire face buried in it. He hurriedly got up and was about to get out of bed, but before his feet could land on the ground, he was suddenly hugged from behind by someone and fell back onto the big soft bed. Then Yan Xie turned over, got up, and held him condescendingly.
The two, one up and the other below, looked at each other for a moment. Yan Xie slowly leaned down and stopped at a distance of fewer than ten centimeters from the tip of his nose:
"You haven't wished me a happy birthday yet."
Jiang Ting leaned back, although he could hardly open any distance because of the pillow's obstruction. He didn't realize that this action exposed his white neck to Yan Xie's line of sight: "…your birthday is tomorrow."
"I grew up receiving blessings three days in advance on my birthday."
"But you have grown up, you're already 30—" Jiang Ting's voice stopped abruptly, his face changed unpredictably, and he gritted his teeth for a while: "Happy birthday Yan Xie… I'm telling you not to get on top of me at a time like this!"
The proletariat exerted his strength and bravely overturned the heavy pressure of the bourgeoisie, but before he could successfully escape from the evil capitalist-ruled area, he was captured by the reactionary forces, who turned him over, pressed him down, and said indistinctly: "Being on top hmm. Being on top doesn't matter, there won't be any less meat…"
"It's early in the morning! Yan Xie!"
"It's exactly because it's early morning… By the way, I suddenly found out that you didn't react in the morning. Is there something wrong with you?! Well, let me check it. Come on, don't move, let me check it!"
"You're the one who has a problem!" Jiang Ting said embarrassedly: "You try it yourself after being vegetative for three years, it'll already be good if you're able to run and jump!"
Yan Xie didn't blush at all: "I have no problem, if you don't believe me, I can prove it to you now. Hey, don't move, let me be on top again. Don't get up in such a hurry, you say you're a man…"
The huge solid wood bed couldn't withstand the scuffle between the two people, making a creaking sound, and the air-conditioning blanket wrinkled up because of the kicking, slowly sliding down the bed, hanging onto the thick light wool carpet.
"Hmm—"
Jiang Ting was buried between the pillows. The neckline of his T-shirt was pulled down from his shoulders and neck, and he gasped slightly. At this moment, the sound of the doorbell suddenly came from the outhouse—Ding-dong!
Yan Xie suddenly raised his head.
There was thunderous music coming from the direction of the master bedroom, which was the tablet with intelligence access control. Yan Xie hesitated between opening the door and pretending to be not at home, but after three seconds, he decided not to give a d*mn about it, and leaned over to grab the hem of Jiang Ting's T-shirt and reached inward.
"Someone, someone's here!" Jiang Ting tried his best to block the enemy's brutal attack with his elbows, breathlessly saying, "Your parents are here!"
Yan Xie was like a wolf who had been starving for several years, with one arm imprisoning Jiang Ting firmly, he said hoarsely: "Impossible, you can see for yourself that it's only nine o'clock, they won't be here until noon…"
Ding-dong! Ding-dong!
The doorbell continued to ring, Ding-dong!!
The phone that Yan Xie brought with him when he sneaked into the guest bedroom last night suddenly vibrated with an attitude of I won't give up until you pick up. Yan Xie was stunned for a few seconds and finally cursed in despair. He grabbed the phone from the bedside table and looked at it, and the incoming call was indeed:
Mom.
"—Son!" Madam Zeng Cui's enthusiastic voice came from the phone: "We're here! Open the door!"
Ten minutes later.
The door opened slowly in the heavy, almost freezing air, revealing Yan Xie's expressionless face with messy hair and a toothbrush in his mouth.
The mother and son looked at each other through the door frame for a long time, and Madam Zeng Cuicui said coldly, "Ten minutes."
Yan Xie spat out a string of toothpaste foam from his mouth.
"In the early morning, I waited at the door for ten minutes." Madam Zeng Cui clicked her watch and said word by word: "—unless you told me that you were making a child with my daughter-in-law just now, your mother will have to remind you of the family rules now!"
Father Yan hid behind with the expression of 'I can't save you' on his face. Yan Xie rolled his eyes with restraint: "If your son only has ten minutes from the beginning to the end, you should really remind me of the family rules."
"..." Mother Yan was instantly enlightened, and thought that he was right: "It makes sense!" Then with a slap, she pushed Yan Xie away and stepped into the door with great excitement and cautiousness. Before she could even change her high heels, she stretched her neck to look into the entrance, her voice shaky with happiness:
"Oh my daughter-in-law, let me see my precious daughter-in-law with my own… eyes?!"
In the living room, Jiang Ting, who had quickly finished brushing his teeth, washing his face, and had changed his shirt and trousers, was bending over to put a plate of fruit on the coffee table in the living room. When he caught sight of Mother Yan's loving gaze, both of them froze at the same time.
Mother Yan: "..."
Jiang Ting: "?"
"You, you are…" Mother Yan said tremblingly.
"Oh, Aunt Zeng." Jiang Ting put down the fruit bowl, got up, and nodded politely: "My surname is Lu, I just transferred to Jianning to work. I'm sorry to bother you."
Both of Mother Yan's hands unconsciously grabbed something in mid-air and then supported Father Yan who came in later. Both the husband and wife had the same expression of being struck by lightning on their faces. In the quiet air, only the sound of Yan Xie brushing his teeth could be heard.
Jiang Ting finally felt a little weird: "Yan Xie?"
Mother Yan looked back in disbelief and asked, "…Son?"
—Is this what you call cohabitation?
You shyly ran to say that you were living with someone, telling your parents to prepare themselves psychologically. So your so-called psychological preparation was coming out of the closet?!
"Cough cough!"
Yan Xie held his toothbrush in his mouth and faced the fiery gaze of the three, his father, his mother, and his Captain Jiang, he braced himself and said vaguely: "I… haven't I already said it? It's almost as you know." Then he lowered his head and rushed into the bathroom. After a while, a frantic sound of him gargling and washing his face sounded.
An indescribable atmosphere enveloped the living room again. Even if Jiang Ting no longer wanted to guess in that direction, he vaguely felt something was not right at this moment.
But holding on to the last glimmer of hope that "Yan Xie was a 30-year-old Vice-Captain of the Criminal Investigation Division, he certainly couldn't be so unreliable", he coughed casually, and made a tentative gesture to the sofa:
"Uncle Yan? Aunt Zeng? Would you like to… have some tea?"
Mother Yan said, "No need to trouble yourself, no need…" Then she pinched her husband to death.
Father Yan woke up as if he was in a dream: "Yes, no need to trouble…"
The couple carefully bypassed the coffee table and sat on the sofa. Both of them sat in a precarious position, staring directly at Jiang Ting as if wanting to see a flower coming out of his face.
Jiang Ting didn't know what to say. He sat across from the coffee table, and just habitually crossed his legs, but suddenly felt that it was not suitable. So, he hurriedly pretended to adjust his sitting position, put his feet down, and folded his hands on his thighs, staring intently at the bunch of bananas on the plate.
Three minutes passed, and there was silence in the living room.
"..." Mother Yan probably couldn't bear the funeral-like atmosphere. After thinking for a while, she finally gathered up her courage, raised her hand, and pulled a banana to hand it over. Facing Jiang Ting's doubtful eyes, she showed a cautious, friendly, and very reserved smile: "Xiao Lu eat… eat bananas."
Jiang Ting reflexively said: "You eat, you eat."
"Oh, don't be so formal, just eat…"
"No no, you eat…"
"Mom! He can't eat!" Yan Xie stuck his head out from the bedroom: "He doesn't eat any yellow fruits except oranges, mangoes, and yellow peaches! No bitter gourd! No eggplant! No carrots! He isn't in good health, don't feed him!"
At that moment, the awkward air almost exploded. Jiang Ting's only thought was to immediately rush into the bathroom to block Yan Xie's mouth, or jump into a crack in the ground that will appear out of thin air.
"Oh, so that's it." Mother Yan seemed to be like an aunt who had done something wrong. She put down the banana and smiled embarrassingly, making the excuse: "Don't eat then, don't eat, bananas are too high in sugar. They're unhealthy to eat."
Jiang Ting immediately said, "Yes, yes, indeed."
Silence enveloped the small space again, and everyone thought to themselves: Why am I talking about the sugar content of bananas when I meet my suspected daughter-in-law/Yan Xie's parents for the first time?
"Cough cough!" Father Yan bluntly cleared his throat, and forcibly squeezed out the smile he thought was very kind but actually was a little distorted: "Xiao Lu, where are you from?"
Jiang Ting hesitated for half a second, and quickly replied: "Jiangyang County."
Father Yan pointed to the bedroom awkwardly: "Then how did you meet…"
"Oh, we are classmates from the police academy."
"This year, you…"
"I'm two years older than Yan Xie."
Father Yan and Mother Yan silently made an "oh—" mouth shape at the same time, but their inner thought activity was: It doesn't look like it?!
Jiang Ting said sincerely: "I'm really two years older."
The couple said in unison: "Being mature is good, being mature is good."
Jiang Ting: "..."
"Then," Father Yan asked tentatively, "What do your parents do?"
The couple looked at Jiang Ting with bright eyes, and their inner activities were actually: Whatever you do is fine, but the main thing is that are your parents also "Mentally Prepared"?!
Jiang Ting was a person who hardly watched TV, and had no experience in meeting his future in-law in his life. Therefore, although he thought this question was very strange, he still answered truthfully: "My parents have been gone since I was a child. I was raised by the orphanage dean."
Father Yan and Mother Yan were silent again at the same time, "Oh—"
Father Yan: In case he is my daughter-in-law, at least we don't have to deal with our son's in-laws in the future, that's okay!
Mother Yan: In case he is my daughter-in-law, at least my son doesn't have to risk his legs being broken by the other's parents, there's a silver lining!
Jiang Ting's gaze swept across the faces of the Yan family couple, and the doubts in his heart could hardly be suppressed. Just when he couldn't help but want to explain, Yan Xie finally washed his face and hair, walked back to the living room while drying his hair with a towel, and sat down beside Jiang Ting carelessly: "Dad! Mom!"
In an instant, three pairs of eyes pierced at him at the same time, and the various rich meanings in the eyes rubbed and collided in the air, bursting out with shining fire.
Yan Xie covered his mouth and coughed in embarrassment, pretending not to see anything, and reached out to pull the gift bag his mother brought: "Hey, what is this, my birthday present?"
Mother Yan couldn't stop him, her good-for-nothing son had already taken out the watch box—one was a birthday present for his son, and the other was a gift for her daughter-in-law.
Unable to turn around under the watchful eyes of everyone, Mother Yan only felt her head grow bigger.
"This, this is…" Mather Yan's final tone was a little impractical: "It just so happened that the two watches from last year could make a pair. It's my first time meeting my daughter-in-… meeting Xiao Lu, and there was nothing I could come up with, so I…"
The two watches could make a pair.
…make a pair.
Jiang Ting looked at the Calatrava Cross logo[1] on the wooden watch box, and his facial muscles were a little stiff. This kind of expression on his face was quite rare, but at this moment he had no time to hide it and blurted out: "No, wait for Aunt Zeng. There may be a bit of a misunderstanding here, you first listen to me explain—"
"I can explain! "Yan Xie couldn't wait to interrupt.
Everyone looked at each other, Yan Xie's expression was extremely calm, but his feet stepped on Jiang Ting's under the coffee table. He gestured at the kitchen and gave a firm look of "I will settle the thing with my parents."
Jiang Ting's always-clear brain was extremely chaotic, and he wondered what was going on. Why did your parents give us the matching watches? What did you tell your family?
Yan Xie nodded invisibly, which means you didn't need to worry, leave it to me!
Father Yan and Mother Yan watched the undercurrents surging between the two of them. Finally, Jiang Ting couldn't take it anymore and hurriedly said "I'm going to boil water to make tea" and ran away, feeling so embarrassed that he didn't even look back.
As a result, as he entered the kitchen with his front foot, Madam Zeng Cui grabbed her son's collar on her back foot, gritted her teeth, and said, "Yan. Xie!"
Yan Xie squeezed her hand tightly: "Mom!"
"Tell me again. What's the relationship between the two of you?!"
"Mom, listen to my explanation!"
Seeing Madam Zeng Cui's murderous expression, if Jiang Ting wasn't there, it was estimated that Division Vice-Captain Yan would be beaten by his own mother into the hospital the next moment.
"Mom, we are really together. Your son will be like this for the rest of his life. You can learn more about the American surrogacy agency which takes 1.2 million and if shipping includes 1.6 million for identical twins, and if everything went well and we had triplets then we can have a child with your surname. Didn't dad say that you always made a fuss for me to change my surname to Zeng when I was a child?"
Father Yan was glaring at his son, but when he heard this, he immediately turned his head to focus on the floor, successfully creating a sense of passing by to buy soy sauce.
Madam Zeng Cui: "..."
Yan Xie said with sincerity: "To be honest, I have had a crush on him since five years ago. After so many years of failed blind dates, I knew that I was destined to be with him in this life. So if you two elders make up your mind to forcefully separate us lovebirds; as your son, I can only live a lonely and solitary life till the end, and from here on out, living in isolation away from worldly affairs…"
Mother Yan trembled with disgust: "Speak human words!"
"I took the initiative. He is shy, and wasn't planning to formally confirm our relationship yet." Yan Xie glanced at the kitchen and lowered his voice secretly: "So I lied to him that you don't know anything, and he thought you only regarded him as my police academy classmate…"
Mother Yan stared at him, probably thinking seriously about whether to put this son back in her stomach and give birth again.
"What does this Xiao Lu do?!" Mother Yan asked coldly from between her teeth.
"Oh, don't ask — He's a criminal investigation consultant from the Public Security University, and has been a first-level police inspector for several years. He said that he was transferred to Jianning to work, but in fact, he is only temporarily assisting for a period of time. Why are you considering him a criminal suspect?"
Who would have guessed that Mother Yan's expression did not relax as he thought, but instead became more solemn: "The position is higher than yours?"
Yan Xie nodded seriously.
"..." Mother Yan was worried: "Are you two really in love? You are not being subverted by unspoken rules, right?!"
Yan Xie almost spat out.
"That, may I ask," Jiang Ting stuck his head out of the kitchen and carefully inserted a sentence: "Black tea or green tea?"
Mother Yan had already let go of her son's collar at the speed of light and sat down on the sofa demurely and gracefully as if nothing had happened just now: "No need to trouble yourself, anything is fine!"
Jiang Ting still looked suspicious. He nodded with a frown and turned back to the kitchen.
Yan Xie complained while tidying up his collar: "Mom, you're really…"
"I'm telling you, bastard." Mother Yan was sharp-eyed and deft-handed, and she once again grabbed Yan Xie's collar, and warned word by word: "If you dare to sell yourself for glory, I will deprive you of your right of inheritance, and in a hundred years, all of your parents' property will be donated to charitable organizations so that you can get out of the house and drink the northwest wind[2] for the rest of your life…"
In the end, it was Father Yan who loved his son: "cough, cough!"
"Do you have an opinion?!" Mother Yan said angrily.
Father Yan gave in: "No opinion, no opinion…"
"There are no unspoken rules, what are you thinking, Mom." Yan Xie said dissatisfied, "Does your son look like he can be pushed down? You didn't see how gentle, attentive, and obedient your daughter-in-law is in front of me. Last night he also made beef stew and tomato egg noodles for me to eat." As he spoke, he took out his mobile phone to open the photo album and click on the photo taken with the filter before dinner last night.
The suspicion in Mother Yan's eyes was finally suppressed temporarily, and she and her husband pressed their heads together, looking at the bowl of stewed beef brisket with potatoes in the picture.
"Anyway," Yan Xie straightened his clothes and said in a closing statement: "He can't leave me, I can't leave him. We have reached the stage where we can talk about marriage at any time. More importantly, we have already slept together. Now, if after all this I ended up abandoning him, he would be heartbroken to the point of madness. You don't want your son to be a scumbag who sleeps and doesn't acknowledge his account, right? So considering that the rice is already cooked[3], you should give me your greatest support and blessing."
Both Yan husband and wife looked at each other in blank dismay.
Although there were some premonitions and even mental preparations, when things really happened, it still had a big psychological impact on the parents.
"Uncle, aunt," Jiang Ting came out of the kitchen with a tea tray.
Yan Xie immediately gritted his teeth and showed his parents a gesture to kill the chicken by cutting his neck, then turned around to step forward, involuntarily taking the heavy tea tray from Jiang Ting's hand, and secretly passed a "I'm done" look.
Taking advantage of the brief gap between Yan Xie's back and the sofa, Jiang Ting lowered his voice and asked, "What's going on?"
"It's them who thought too much, don't worry." Yan Xie made an OK gesture under the tea tray: "It's explained clearly!"
Jiang Ting nodded and relaxed a little, thinking that Yan Xie's life's greatest event[4] was probably really worrisome for his parents. No wonder they thought their son was coming out of the closet when they saw a man… even though their son was already outside the closet.
"Hehe…"
"Hehehe…"
Father Yan and Mother Yan probably never dreamed that the first time they drank their daughter-in-law's tea would be like this, and the smiles on their faces were a little stiff. Fortunately, Madam Zeng Cuicui was not an ordinary middle-aged and elderly woman. She was a person who had seen a lot of things in the business field. Although her inner surging and complicated feelings were almost overflowing, she still insisted on smiling and asked: "I said… I said Xiao Lu, are you used to living here?"
Jiang Ting did not suspect anything: "Yes, I am used to living here, thanks to Yan Xie's care."
Father Yan choked on a mouthful of tea in his throat and swallowed it with a bit of difficulty.
"It's good that you're used to living here." Mother Yan rubbed her hands together, and then asked worriedly, "Are you two normally in a good relationship?"
"..." Jiang Ting's eyelids twitched at the question.
"It's really okay." Jiang Ting said with a serious tone: "Although we are only old classmates from the police academy, and haven't seen each other for five years, our friendship has always been good."
He is shy, Yan Xie emphasized to his parents again with his eyes.
Mother Yan understood, remembering what her son said just now, "He is not planning to confirm the relationship between us for the time being". She smiled awkwardly: "It is good that your relationship is good. The future is long, anyway."
Father Yan forcibly shoved the teacup into her hand: "Drink tea, drink tea."
The Yan family parents sat side by side on the sofa and drank tea in unison — not the Lao Tongxing Pu'er tea, the Lao Tongxing Pu'er tea cake had long been dug up by Jiang Ting to the size of a small fingernail. Fortunately, Mother Yan's mind was only filled with the white paper "Research on Legal Issues of Gay Marriage" at home, and the contact information of the major surrogacy companies in California flashed in her mind. At this time, don't talk about tea tasting, give her a bottle of old mixed vodka and she could drink it all down without changing her face.
"This," Jiang Ting opened his mouth with consideration, and asked, "I heard that in order to celebrate Yan Xie's birthday, the lunch at noon seems to be…"
He just wanted to say whether it was time for them to go out now, otherwise, the atmosphere would be too awkward. But his following words were stopped by Yan Xie: "Yes, we will eat at home at noon. Hey, didn't you say yesterday that you want to personally cook and show your skills?"
Jiang Ting: "..." When did I say this?
"It's not easy for them to come all the way. Don't go outside, it's hot and crowded. We can eat at home by ourselves. Just let me assist you, and show filial piety to my parents." Yan Xie grabbed Jiang Ting's hand. "It's said that children's birthdays are the hardest day for their parents, how meaningful it is for us to cook by ourselves, don't you think?"
Jiang Ting quickly pulled out his hands amid the two expectant gazes on the opposite side: "Actually, I don't know how to cook…"
"It's okay, knowing more or less doesn't matter, it's feelings that matter. The most important thing is that I will take the opportunity to learn to cook from you, and will be able to show filial respect to the elderly afterward, right?!"
Mother Yan and father Yan seemed to have opened the door of the new world, and couldn't wait to agree: "Yes, it's better to eat at home!" "We should eat healthy food at home!"
Jiang Ting: "...?"
Jiang Ting inexplicably fell under the relieved and appreciative gaze of the Yan family's parents. His lips trembled for a while, and he was embarrassed to say his objection in front of the elders, then he was dragged into the kitchen by Yan Xie.
"Yan Xie, what the hell are you—"
Jiang Ting was stunned before he had time to question.
He saw Yan Xie take out an apron from the cupboard, put on one himself, grabbed Jiang Ting's chin forcibly, and whispered a warning close to his ear: "You cook, I'll help you. Our performance depends on the meal, do you understand?"
Captain Jiang was caught off guard, and a spatula was forced into his hand which was used to hold a police gun, his forehead was full of question marks.
Translator's Note:
(1) The Calatrava cross, registered by Patek Philippe as their trademark.
(2) Have nothing to eat; live on air.
(3) What's done is done; it's too late to change anything now.
(4) Marriage.