Chereads / Pushing Back Darkness / Chapter 494 - Victoria's sleepless night

Chapter 494 - Victoria's sleepless night

Victoria slept fitfully that night. Something about little Owen's reaction to the strange woman bothered her, and she couldn't put her finger on why.

Also, her bedroll was strangely far less comfortable in the mountains. Maybe the ground here was poor.

Irritated at her futile efforts to fall asleep, she got up and went to the nearest campfire. The soldiers took various watches, though she hadn't been assigned one since she'd had nonstop nursing duties from the moment they came to the plague-ridden town. Captain Napier asserted that she'd earned some rest.

Truthfully, they all had, but she thought he secretly doubted her competence for the task of defending the camp from nighttime threats. Not an entirely unreasonable doubt, but it still irked her to think about.

"How's the watch tonight, Mason?" She asked the soldier who was staring into the fire instead of out at the borders of the camp.

"Ah! Oh, all's well," He jumped and stammered, darting a quick glance around to confirm the group wasn't currently under siege or imminent attack. She pursed her lips.

"That's great. I always thought a watch was to walk around, looking away from the fire to see better into the night, but I have a lot to learn about army things." Victoria commented. "I'm having trouble sleeping, maybe you could teach me?"

She didn't expect him to, and knew he didn't want to, but it amused her to watch his mind race with some method of getting out of the task.

"I would love to," He was clearly lying, "but my watch ends in just a few minutes. I'm afraid my instruction wouldn't do you much good, limited as it would be."

Victoria gave him a slow nod, trying to keep the amused smile from her face. He looked extremely uncomfortable. It was strange, he seemed extremely chatty around most others but clearly disliked talking with her.

"Thank you for your consideration," She said after a moment, "I suppose I'll never learn the intricacies of military protocol."

"The next man on watch should be able to teach you plenty, I'm certain of it," Mason rushed to explain. "I didn't mean that you'll never learn, only that it's best if you have a teacher who can give enough time to your learning."

"I'd be happy to teach Victoria anything she wishes to know," A familiar voice emerged from the darkness. Gabriel stepped into the firelight and the men saluted each other as the watch changed.

Mason didn't even glance back at Victoria as he plodded towards his tent, clearly exhausted.

"He could have said goodnight," She shook her head.

"Not the most polite of men, Mason." Gabriel smirked at the retreating form before turning to Victoria. "Why are you still up? Desperate for lessons on military protocol regarding changes in the watch?"

"Couldn't sleep," She shrugged. "I thought bothering Mason might pass the time."

"You can bother me, if you want," He encouraged. "At least, you could try. I don't know whether you'd succeed. What's keeping you awake? Everyone else is so dead tired they can hardly drag their eyes open to keep the camp safe."

Victoria eyed him warily before giving him an honest answer.

"I'm concerned about someone in the caravan. Little Owen mistook a woman for his mother, and she roundaboutly implied she might be a distant relative of his, then got very flustered and left in a hurry. There's something strange going on."

"And that's enough to keep you from sleeping after literal weeks of nonstop work?" He raised one eyebrow. "Were you slacking off?"

"Not as much as you. Laying in bed all day, hardly getting up at all." Victoria halfheartedly teased. It was a little easier now that he was better, but he had scared her. Badly.

"I apologize for that." He ducked his head. "It was negligent of me to become ill."

"Hm." She responded noncommittally, looking into the fire.

"I did have… some very interesting dreams." His brow furrowed. "I suppose from the fever. But it's hard to wake up from them sometimes."

"Oh?" Victoria glanced at him curiously. Her fever dreams tended to be terrifying and disjointed. He seemed almost nostalgic as he spoke of his.

Gabriel scanned the forest with his gaze, keeping up the vigil of his duty while they quietly talked. She appraised him, trying to figure out where this conversation was going.

"Are you going to enlighten me, or should I go back to bed and try to sleep?" She asked after a moment.

"It's a strange thing, dreaming when you're sick," Gabriel glanced at her. "The line between what is real and what is not seems blurred. Something you would swear really happened turns out to be imagination, and things that seem too good to be true, might not be as farfetched as you initially thought."

"Are you referring to anything in particular?" Victoria looked out into the night, suddenly very nervous. He'd remembered, earlier, that she had promised to marry him if he would only get better. At the time, he had seemed to think it was a dream, and he hadn't mentioned it again.

Was he reconsidering that now?

Her reason for refusing his proposal was complicated. She wanted to marry him. Badly. But only if he loved her, as a man loves a woman. Not as a friend likes a friend or a brother loves a sister.

He'd proposed out of a desperation to keep her from joining the military, to make her leave and go home. She understood that motivation, but it was entirely wrong.

"I had the most beautiful dream," He chewed on his lip thoughtfully for a moment, "that even though I'm possibly the most inept man at reading women the world has ever known, the woman I love agreed to marry me."

Victoria's throat closed up with emotion. Even if she could have said anything, she likely would have refused to speak. She couldn't assume anything right now, it would hurt too badly if she did, only to be wrong.

After a moment of silence, Gabe turned to her. Almost against her will, she looked at his face. His eyes were large and pleading as the firelight danced in them.

"There were other dreams, of course, but that one replays in my mind, and echoes there. It made me happier than I've ever felt, even in the midst of such agony, such universal death and horror." He paused for a moment, his expression twisting as he remembered the suffering of the plague.

"In my delirium, in the depth of my illness and despair, I cast about for anything to hold onto, to keep me anchored to this world. I knew that I was in danger of leaving it," His voice darkened, but his gaze held hers.

"What made you stay?" She finally found a handful of words, trying to keep him talking. Explaining. She wanted so badly to believe that she didn't trust herself not to jump to conclusions.

He reached out and took hold of her hand. "A cool, gentle touch, and a soft, sweet voice. You spoke to me often."

Victoria swallowed. She had indeed spoken to him almost constantly while at his bedside, when she wasn't so exhausted that she fell asleep there. She tried to remember everything she'd said, not having expected any of it to sink into his fever-plagued mind.

"What do you remember?" Victoria forced herself to ask, despite the intense awkwardness she felt at having any of it repeated back to her.

"Do you want to deny it, and tell me it was all a dream?" His voice was low and serious. "If you truly want me to believe that, I will take you at your word, but looking back, I cannot think it was anything but real. Please don't take back your promise."

She wet her lips with the tip of her tongue, suddenly feeling dry-mouthed and unable to speak. Did she want to deny it? Yes! She couldn't honestly do so, but it was so hard fighting Gabriel and herself. How could she know he truly loved her?

"The promise was not mine to give," Victoria took a deep breath and looked up at his confused face. "Not entirely, anyway. The Shermans adopted me, and so Papa retains the ability to ratify or dissolve any agreement of matrimony."

"Yes, that's true," He agreed slowly, "but you honestly think he would not approve of me as a son-in-law?"

She hesitated. "I think he would make absolutely certain that the man who asks for my hand truly loves me."

"And you would trust his assessment?" A slow grin began to form on his lips.

She frowned. He seemed very confident about his success. "Papa is very impartial and discerning."

"Absolutely." Gabriel's smile was even wider now, "you won't believe me if I tell you that I love you, but you'll believe Dr. Sherman if he tells you that I love you. Is that about right? And then you'll marry me?"

Victoria felt somehow she was missing something. "You don't seem upset about me not taking your word for it."

"You've given me the road to success, and for now, that's enough." Gabriel replied.