Emilie sat at the edge of her bed in her room, staring out of the window with her stare fixed on nothing in particular, she was in deep thoughts. Life was hard, ever since her dad passed away five years ago, she took up all the responsibilities of her family, and it wasn't so hard until her mom started getting sick all the time and had to retire. She had so much bills to pay and so many responsibilities stared at her in the face, everything seemed to weigh her down, she could literally feel the weight on her shoulders. She also had her sick mother to think about, her mother's sickness progressed every day but no particular diagnosis was given, the doctors suspected many different illness and so they labelled her mom's case as 'an undiagnosed one'. Her mom needed assistance twenty four hours every day, but Emilie had to work, and so she employed a care-giver, who worked on shifts. The care-giver would stay in during the day while Emilie will take over after work. It was tiring and she was usually worn out by the end of the day, but she had to do what was needed. She has sacrificed so much for their well-being. When her mom's illness started, she sold many of their household items and clothes that were somewhat new in online thrift stores in order to pay for her mom's medical bills. She no longer had the time to go out with her friends, and be a normal young adult, because of all the work she had on her hands. She had few family members and none of them lived in Wasilla, they all lived in Sitka. Even if they were here she couldn't think of them giving her any assistance, because she wasn't really close to any of them, even if she grew up in Sitka. "Of what use are they to me?" she thought aloud.
"I've been here for over seven minutes and you've not said anything to me, and you look so sad. Are you alright?" Savannah asked breaking into Emilie's thoughts.
"You startled me," Emilie jolted a little. I'm okay, I'm just thinking" Emilie replied.
"Oh my darling Emilie, something's always bothering you. What's on your mind this time?" Savannah asked again dropping her bottle of water and moving over to the bed to sit by Emilie.
"Life," she replied.
"I'm thinking about life, how cruel life can be. I don't want to fail myself and my mom, I am trying so hard to keep being optimistic but everything is weighing me down, I feel like I'm crushing under something really heavy. Savannah, I'm trying so hard to keep sane, but the more I try the more everything looks impossible, I work so hard every day but I get nothing in return, the money from my mom's pension is hardly enough for anything. I'm beginning to get fed up, I really am." Emilie complained with her face in her palms, there were tears in her eyes
"it's okay honey, I know exactly how you feel, take a deep breath and calm down, it'll be okay." Savannah said with her left hand on Emilie's shoulder.
"I don't think you know how I feel, nothing is working out the way I want. Everything is going the other way round." Emilie replied with her eyes closed, tears streaming down her face.
"Trust me Emilie, I do. I know what it's like to feel lost and confused, to feel alone and crushed, to feel like you're sinking into something so fast that you can't help, to feel out of control and to feel like you're just moving with the wind, tossed about without a direction. I know how it feels." Savannah said in a shaky voice, almost choked up by tears.
Savannah was the 'ultimate best friend'. She was always there for Emilie every time she needed her, sometimes she even volunteered to look after Kristyn, Emilie's mom anytime Emilie was away. They have always been there for each other through so many hurdles. Savannah had her own problems but she always tried to be strong for Emilie, she had also gotten her own share of life's cruelty, but her resilience helped her pull through and now she could say she was almost up on her feet. Savannah grew up in different foster homes, and never felt like she was accepted or had a place in life, she had to build her confidence from scratch when she realised how strong she truly was, she realised that life was too short to allow the key to her happiness remain in someone else's pocket. She became thankful for every little thing, she worried less and allowed the universe to do its thing while she sat and watched, she lived a free life and she found out that she had no more anxiety.
"Emilie, Tell me three things you're grateful for," Savannah asked with her gaze fixed on Emilie. By this time, Emilie had calmed down, her face was now red from crying and her eyes looked puffy.
"Three things I'm grateful for?" Emilie asked rubbing her eyes.
"Yes only three things," Savannah replied.
"Well, at this point in my life I don't think I'm grateful for anything." Emilie answered with a very sad look.
"Stop it Emilie, there must be something you're grateful for, at least one," Savannah said, giving Emilie a gentle tap on her shoulder.
"Okay Savannah, I'm truly grateful for many things, she replied with a slight smile. "I'm grateful for life, because I can breathe and I'm not sick. I'm grateful for my mom, she's the only family I have, and I love her to death. I'm grateful for having a friend like you, you're a rare gift Savannah,'' she said staring at savannah straight in the face and smiling
"You're gonna make me cry now, Emilie." Savannah said wiping her teary eyes with the back of her right palm.
"And oh, I must add that I'm grateful for my work." Emilie added.
"Really? Savannah asked with a surprise look, "I know how passionate you are about kids and how much you love working with them, but I never knew you are so happy with the work you do as a middle school teacher, you sometimes complain that its tiring." she added.
"I know I complain sometimes, and the work is tiring but I really love the new kids in my class, they show me what true love and innocence is, they admire me so much even if they only know me as a teacher. Every time I walk into the classroom, they never fail to give me reasons to smile and even laugh, they're so full of life and vigour, always wanting to get an answer to every question, there's this very smart girl in my class, she's so cute and she's always happy, the other day I found a note from her on my desk, she wrote that she couldn't tell me to my face, but I'm beautiful and she loves me." Emilie said with a quiet laugh.
"Awwn….She must be a really sweet kid, I'm so glad that you're really happy for one thing." Savannah replied tugging Emilie lightly on the cheek.
"Thank you for always being there for me whenever I need you, savannah." Emilie said squeezing Savannah's hand tightly
"That's why I'm your best friend, girl!" Savannah replied while giving Emilie a tight hug. "Now shake off all that gloominess and let's go get something to eat, I'm starving and I know you are too." She added getting up from the bed and pulling Emilie along.
"Panda express or a delicious homemade meal, courtesy of me?" Savannah asked while standing up
"Please darling, I love you so much but let's do panda express, I can't deal with your cooking today." Emilie replied laughing loudly and following savannah out of the room.
"Me either, I can't deal with it." Savannah said laughing very loudly, her laugh overpowering Emilie's.