The day is so hot. I just finished unloading all of my boxes and pieces of furniture in my new apartment and I swear I think I'm melting. Looking around the place had the perfect studio layout. When you walk in through the front door, the kitchen is to your right, if you go through the kitchen there's a door to the bathroom. Connecting both the kitchen and bedroom. The living space was right in front of the front door and the 'bedroom' was down past the living space tucked in a corner. It's nice to have the bed area connect to the bathroom and kitchen. If I ever have people over then they don't need to walk into my space. But like that would happen.
I've been very reserved these past years. I've really only been talking to my therapist. I have met new people but haven't stayed in touch. I want to turn this year around and reach out to others. Make new friendships and just live a little.
There's been so much negative energy surrounding me, I feel like I just can't escape the past, but nothing will stop me from trying to move on from it.
My father passed away and all throughout living with my mother I was mentally and physically abused. I had no friends, finished school online. Once I could I took the first chance I got to get away from her. My fathers Will had held out some money for me for when I turned 18. The second I had the money was in a bank account and I was given access.
He had a note saying, Use whatever you need to get a degree, save and invest the rest. I love you sweetNess.
Yeah, that was it. But I like to think that was the note for the mean time until he got back to it, but was never able to. He passed away by a car crash. Someone had run him off a cliff that had a body of water under it and sadly he didn't make it.
These are the kind of things that are constantly running through my head and my therapist, Selena says I need to distract myself when it happens. I thought the gap year I took would help but it didn't. Lucky for me I have nothing but hours until it's night and a whole place to settle into.