Tap tap tap.
Pain. So much pain. Need to remember this time. Need to… do something. Need to–
Challa,
She's gotten so much more real! So much more… there! I can even hear her now. Too much Amwella, it made Her stronger. Connected me to Her more. Fuck, why didn't I listen to–
The dream stirs.
Need to remember. Don't forget this time. You're waking up now. DON'T FORGET!!!
"Ina?" Jevita whispers.
"Hmmm?" I awaken blearily to her nudging my arm.
Need to remember!
Afternoon sunlight must have coaxed me into a soft nap. Jevita and I sit at a little table just outside some proper Quelekita stables. We're both wrapped in warm blankets and coats.
"Need to remember." I murmur, half of me still enveloped in the pain and anguish of the dream.
"What?" Jevita looks across the open notebook at me, a playful smirk on her lips.
"I need to remember! She–" I jolt up, dig nails into the wood of the table.
I grasp at it, fight to keep the dream at the forefront of my mind. Struggle to–
And then it's gone. I fight to recover it, but… it's like losing a seashell amidst the waves on the beach.
"You dozed off there." Jevita murmurs, "Bad dream?"
"I… what?"
"You just said you need to remember something?"
"I… I do." I blink away the fuzz of weariness. "It… but it's already gone. Sorry. Didn't mean to abandon you there."
I look down to the notebooks before me. We'd basically translated all of it now.
"Just a question about the word choice here on the fifteenth page." She shrugs, "But… You look pretty exhausted. You should go get some sleep in a real bed while you still can."
"Yeah…" I yawn. "Haven't been sleeping well. Don't know why either."
I look up to see her raised eyebrow and quirked lip.
I try to hide my blush with a roll of my eyes. "Even with… all that. I should be getting enough rest. I… I don't feel like I'm waking up either. Just…"
Tap tap tap.
I wince, a flash of something. A memory. But then it's gone.
"Whatever you say." She looks back to her own work.
I sigh and turn back to my notes. "What word did you have that question about?"
And so we continue.
The notebook has been… ugh, less than useful. Other than the actual glyphs and a couple pages before, everything else is… nonsense. Just a mixture of old myths, observations about… well… kinda a ton of random things.
As for the glyphs, they seem to piss Jevita off the most.
"It uses Cultivation glyphs, hints at having actual crystals, but… no links to them!" She fumed over the torn and messed up final pages. "If only I could–"
Kque stepped in then, asked her to slow down, focus on the other pages.
There… is something there. I'm not sure how to ask. Jevita seems to have a rough past with the Academy and Cultivation. But… when I asked Yrelia and Tasii…
"Uh… Yeah." Yrelia shifted uncomfortably, voice going quiet. "Don't ask her about it, okay? Kque helps her with that stuff."
"Okay?" I glanced between them, "Like… nothing? But… What if the Academy is our only option? Do–"
"We'll work things out if we end up there." Tasii added, "It was… really bad stuff. Okay? She… it's not a thing we want her to consider going back to."
I'd already pushed harder than I'd normally had the courage for, so I dropped it. If it was so bad, why would she want to go back?
As the sun gets close to setting, Jevita looks up to me. "You should head back."
I shrug. "I can go a little longer."
She laughs, "You've kinda gone over that page like… three times. You're barely awake."
Tap.
"Mmm fine." I grumble, annoyed that she's still–
Jevita sighs, "Ina… this city isn't like the others. It's… Look I just really don't think you should walk back to the Inn alone in the dark."
Tap.
I don't even glance up. "What do you mean?"
She just… stares. "Right… you really wouldn't have a concept of it."
Tap.
"Stop it!" I hiss at Her, sudden and ugly.
Jevita jerks back. "What?"
I realize then that I'd spoken aloud. "I… I wasn't talking to…"
What was I just… Who was I talking to? Why did I say that?
"I'm just trying to keep you safe, Ina." She grimaces. "I… I didn't mean to imply–"
"No, no!" I nearly shout, jerked back from my thoughts. "I wasn't… I'm so sorry. I… What were you saying? That I didn't understand something about something? Or…?"
She hesitates. "Just… some cities, they're not um… as safe as others? Especially at night."
"Ah." I sigh. "Right. Yeah, I understand. Sorry, I… seriously thanks for pointing that out. I… I don't know why I even said that. You're totally right!"
She tilts her head as I just… sit there. I must look so strange as I stare blankly past her as I try to pull at the memory threads.
"You okay to walk back alone?"
I nod and rise. "Yeah. The cold will keep me awake."
By the time I've cleaned up and moved my notes back to the safety of Jevita's chest, the sun is just barely peeking over the horizon and a light snow has begun to fall.
Utikita is the largest city we've visited… well… at least since we left Lyttoral. Even at nights the streets seem packed to bursting with Women, Quelekita, and even one Arudian male I barely noticed in the window of a shop. Its streets are paved with smooth dark purple rock of some kind, while many of the buildings bear carvings and embellishments made of a twisting cerulean jade. No plants for a region this cold on the outside, but many sport rooftop domes of glass that house internal gardens.
Yrelia and Kque are spending today finalizing some trade deals, While Tasii is finishing up chasing down a few dozen leads on the Sun Spoken Emarial wrote might be in this city. I'd gotten exhausted and felt like I was slowing Tasii down, so we agreed I'd be better off taking it easy and doing more translation work with Jevita.
Tasii had joined Yrelia and me on a basically permanent basis in bed. I'd gotten accustomed to the two's attentions these past weeks. Weirdly enough, my Amwella had not really grown. Just… felt more bright. Denser and heavier around my heart.
Something about that worries me. Like… an anxiety I can't really place. Emarial said that too much would be a problem… but… I can't recall dreaming about the Weaver since Deledita. And honestly… fuck the idea of avoiding sex with the people I love just because that cunt–
Tap tap tap.
I pause. Another memory. One of… pain?
I step out of the main path and up against a little store. Try to focus on the fading impression as It grinds against my mind.
Tap tap ta–
"Stop it!" Why can't You just—
I stumble, and have to catch myself, then the memory is gone.
I look around. What… wow I must be really tired. Starting to dream here in the street.
Then a strange smell catches my attention.
Sweet, but fowl. Like rotting honey but… acidic. It kinda… burns.
Eck.
But cold runs down my spine as it triggers a memory of my last evening in Lyttoral. Of the smell I'd ignored due to the pain of–
I'm moving then, toward the alley it seems to come from, toward the smell. That… is this the same smell that droplet of sap had? The one that She used to change me?
Four or so doors lay hidden along the path. Two have little light things glowing against the darkness. I pause, take in a deeper breath. Try to decide if–
Stronger here, yeah. Maybe one of these doors is the source?
I start walking, slowly, taking my time to take deep sniffs.
"Um… hello?" I call out as I pass the first door, pulling my coat thing tighter around.
Tap tap tap.
I look back the way I came, thinking I'm hearing something calling out to me–
The smell wafts over me again, and I jerk back to see a shadow detach from the wall.
Tall and lanky, at first I think it's just a really really tall woman. But then it leans into one of the lights, and I see familiar pale skin… and way way too many limbs. Each covered with little wriggling fingers and–
"No. No no no no." I whimper. "That's… no! I'm just… this is a dream. Right?"
I take a step back. No healing waters. No one to help.
Another step. It twitches.
Tap tap tap
I jerk back, stumble around to–
But something slams into my back and leg, I fall and knock against a wall before skidding through the fresh snow.
I reach out, try to grab at something, anything, only to find smooth stone.
Begin to scream, but one of those hands curls around my face and stifles the cry as the other drags me back toward the nightmare.
FUCK! No no no no no NO NO NO!
It twists me belly-up, and the limbs seem to curl around and underneath me. It's leaning into the light now, and I can see rows of really really sharp teeth amidst a writhing mass of tongues. The Amwella inside me sparks and roils, but… its warmth feels so far away…
I start to kick and claw and punch as it seems to just… fall down onto me. Like a really heavy blanket. The arms around my head and leg stretch and pull me apart as far and wide as I can go. I kick with my free leg a few more times while my hands try to claw and yank on the things around my mouth.
Need to just get my face free, need to call for help! Someone will–
Then a large lanky hand catches my foot, twists it nearly all the way around. A pop and crack, and my world is horror and pain as I catch a glimpse of my broken foot.
I whimper and begin to sob into it as more hands catch and pin my limbs onto the cold floor. Through tears of agony I watch as those teeth seem to grow and twist, then it slams them down into my chest, and I feel more pain erupt from my core.
I writhe in vain as the thing begins to carve through my thick lays of cloth and skin and warmth. Brushes them aside like so much tasteless chaff to get to the real prize bubbling and whirling inside me.
Tearing, pain, then a definitive crunch. Then... Darkness.
The weight on my chest is softer now, more…
She hums.
Oh… that wasn't… this is the dream. Which means…
"Please." I beg. "I… I think it's going to kill me."
Tap tap tap She clinks a talon against my eyes as She lounges over me. A reminder, and an offer.
Oh… yeah. That's… That's how she can help me. By… by shaping me again. Fuck. I don't want this! Why can't I just be me?!? Fuck fuck FUCK!
But... I take a deep shuddering breath, and open them.
They're not really my eyes… more… A metaphor? A door, or window into my soul. I think.
She's not tall, and would probably be shorter than even me if we stood next to each other. The shadows that once encompassed Her are now more defined, glorious extensions of her mind and will that swirl and wiggle all about her. Beneath and at their core is a feminine shape, fairly petite. With long twisting ears and a cute little nose beneath her four eyes of blazing violet.
They meet mine. And I feel Her slide into my mind and thoughts. Much like they did that first night. Seeming to… wiggle about and curl around my mind and memories.
At first it hurts, burns, and feels like a rotten syrup has been poured directly into me. But… then it settles, cools, and it's like a wonderful friend has decided to give me a surprise hug from behind.
She hums through me as my memories unravel before Her.
I wait… silent and groggy and very very confused.
Why… Why had I resisted Her? She's so warm and kind! Not scary at all!
First person to see your beauty beneath that old wretched form. She agrees.
I nod, but I feel myself… shift focus. Turn my memories to the current thing that's trying to eat me.
She huffs, obviously enjoying the memories of these past weeks with Yrelia and Tasii.
"Sorry." I murmur, regretting upsetting Her.
Minds are faster than flesh, but…
There is a sudden change, a… fury.
"…Huh?"
I always enjoy slaughtering one of these.
Then I'm agreeing with Her, feeling the Amwella in my core twist into an inferno of anticipation at what comes next.
ATTENTION! My new series, Lamentations of The Dead Dreamer is uploaded RIGHT NOW!
:D
Please go check it out if you'd like dark emotional lesbian fantasy nonsense!
To read ahead by about 6k words (3 chapters) of BOTH my series and see some smexy artwork consider supporting this silly writer on Patreon (patreon.com/user?u=106429)!
Thanks so much and I hope you're enjoying my work!
New chapters drop every Friday (sooner if I get too excited)!
Don't forget to Follow and Favorite if you're enjoying the story! If really gives me the warm fuzzies and helps boost the story to others who might enjoy it!