I'd been so concerned with whether this book would tell them what happened and who I was, that I didn't think of the opposite. That once they realized I'm gone, they would look for who might have been responsible.
I'm so stupid. I should have run the moment we left the temple.
Before her shock can shift to realization I twist around my chair and kick it back toward her while bolting toward the exit.
As I burst through the curtain into the night I hear her stumble and cry out. I don't even hear her get through the archway until I am leaping the last few steps and taking off down the cobblestone street toward the city.
Everyone is still milling around in shock as I reach the first buildings. While only a few glance my way initially, the duenna's shouts wash through the streets in my wake and turn more heads my way.
I notice a few more duenna moving toward me. They don't seem to understand her words but they are coming to answer the calls from behind me and I'm very noticeably running away. I make a sharp left turn into an alleyway between streets.
It's short and empty which lets me quickly jolt to the right once I exit, and sprint another few buildings down alongside a canal of glistening greenish water. As I turn left, cross a bridge and move into another alleyway, I notice the streets getting more crowded ahead.
I can head toward the city center and the festival and try to lose the duenna in the crowd, but there are bound to be more of them there. Especially since the rest of the temple is there tonight. But keeping away from the festival means fewer people. I'll stand out more.
I'm about to head into the alleyway, opting for getting lost in the crowd, when I spot the one person I'd rather never see again.
The only mother I've ever known, my Sangoma, steps into view. While her face is blurred by distance and the night, I can see her naked fear and anxiety. More than I have ever seen before.
She knows this is about me. How could it not be? After this last day of failure, after I ruined everything…
It takes another shout from the duenna up the street behind me to shock my body into motion again. I turn and bolt, my decision to try and lose my pursuers in the outskirts made for me.
My eyes blur with angry tears as I jerk myself across the next bridge and into another alley to the right. How long will she look for me? Will they send Zigdara? Someone else?
I vault over a fence half-way down the alley, landing next to a startled hip-high blueish fuzzy animal and then do the same to a second fence before it can react.
Of course they will. And because I'm such an idiot they'll have someone to blame, someone to hunt.
I turn and keep moving, slowing to a jog as I look around and decide which direction to run next.
Where am I even going!?! I don't have food, water, or money! I glance down at the skin on my hands.
But then it's there again. A flutter of my heart and giddy smile at my new body. I slow to a walk as I turn into another alleyway. The shouts behind me are muffled by the buildings and fences.
It's only then that I notice that while I am breathing faster, it's not the chest heaving endeavor I normally experience when bullied into a sport by the men at the temple or pushed to by Sangoma.
It's steady, controlled, and while not… pleasant, it's accompanied by a buzz that is.
So… yeah that's new. I could never run like that. Much less vault two fences at the end. Last time I jogged even half that I threw up and nearly passed out.
As I step out into the next street, I can't help but let out a sigh of relief when I see it is empty of nearly all people and lights. So I keep going. With the trilling sound still crying out from behind me I make my way alongside canals, through more alleyways, and as far as I can from its call.
Never going back. I promise to myself. I'll bite and kick and fight so hard to keep this!
I'm not sure how far I'm able to go before my breath gets too heavy, and as I lean against a sandstone wall I can see my hands are beginning to shake. But as I peek out, my heart lifts as I finally can spot the edge of the city, and the open fields beyond.
I stumble out of the alleyway to the edge of the canal that runs down this street's center. Kneeling, I set the book down beside me and reach down. I have to drop to my belly to reach the cool waters below. It's the perfect thing for my dry mouth, but after a single handful of water I huff in annoyance and just roll myself over the side.
The water is a shock of cold, but after I swallow a few big gulps I can feel my body adjust to the temperature. An ache is beginning to solidify in my legs and side, and I'm content to let the current pull me downstream. This close to the city's edge the canals are only about 10 feet deep, and won't meet up with other natural rivers for a good while. So I bask in the private darkness as I drift along.
Memories of before I was old enough to owe a duty of my body to the temple settle over me. I remember begging Sangoma to let me swim all day and into the night. I would pretend to be the Sun Spoken Xelida as she fought back against the beasts of the sea and built the Dune wall.
She was the first woman I wanted to be. But as I grew older and began to weave my fantasies into poem, song, and paintings, I was teased for my obsessions. They all thought I wished for some kind of romance like in the stories. Some kind of perfect lover or spirit bond. But no. Jawdat, Hitorra, or even Titala were the ones to obsess on a lover amidst their duties. For me my arts were an escape into a body and life I wanted for myself.
I need air, and a light looms overhead, most likely from an everburning Alchemical lamp, and I swim to the surface and take in a large inhale of breath as I look for its source.
A single lamp burns a bright red against a plethora of plants that wind around the tallest building along this street. A wooden sign hangs in front. The light is coming from behind the sign, and a name is carved through it to make the words glow.
Ferrow Winds.
I can feel the heavy ache in my legs, so I swim to the side of the canal and pull myself up to the street.
I am suddenly aware of just how much more hair I have. It's a very noticeable weight with it being soaking wet and I take a second to shake it, then try and squeeze out as much water as I can.
It doesn't bother me. I always wanted to grow my hair out, but Sangoma made me keep it short.
As I approach I notice a few windows hiding within the tapestry of growth against the wall, and a light from within. I step closer and make out a few tables and 3 women sitting at one as a 4th brings them a large tray of food.
I glance back up the street toward the Dune wall. It's empty as far up as I can see. Then look the other way, to see the city's edge about half a dozen buildings down.
I could keep going. The city is longer than it is wide, and the duenna won't get out this far very quickly. My stomach growls as the scent of the sweet tray of boiled and steamed fruits and vegetables reach me.
Before I can properly weigh my options, there is a clicking from the side of the building. I look over to see a large hooked beak, followed by a head as large as my torso peek out from a side alley. A green eye the size of both my fists fixes on me.
One part fascination, two parts terror thrums through me. I almost run as a neck thicker than my thigh snakes behind it and reaches its head a good five feet toward me. It's covered in something fluffy that seems to sag ever so slightly.
I'm about to try diving back into the water when it lets out a soft hoot and tilts its head to better aim one of its giant green eyes at me.
I have no idea how to handle this. I've often petted and played with small animals, but never seen a Quelekita up close!
"Hi?" I whisper quietly.
In reply the feathers along its neck fan out and it throws a chirping cry my way.
Next thing I know I am bursting through the wooden door of Ferrow Winds and slamming it shut behind me.
The four women in the room stare at me as I press my still wet back against the door.
A beat passes.
"Um.. Sorry. Hi." I stutter out to them.
No reply.
"There is a huge Quelekita outside." I try to clarify.
Realization crosses their faces, then smiles, laughs, and a huff of annoyance from one. Two of them get up and approach.
"Are you hurt? He didn't knock you down or nip at you did he?" The tallest of the two asks. She is dressed in baggy pants and a shawl of dark purple and blue weaving that hangs from her shoulders. Her deep black hair is pulled back into a series of brands entangled with a variety of beads and other trinkets. Her skin and eyes are a dark reddish brown.
Before I can reply, a shorter bald woman with bluish skin similar to mine, albeit quite a bit darker, chimes in from the table, "Lule wouldn't do anything like that. I'm guessing he just chirped and frilled up at you from the alley?"
"No. I mean yes, but he came out of the alleyway," I shake my head and carefully pull away from the door, "I've just never seen a Quelekita up close and when his feathers burst out I thought he would–"
"I know right!" The other woman next to me places a comforting hand on my shoulder. She is shorter than the first, but still taller than me with reddish skin and short dark purple hair. She's wearing a gown of emerald dyed cloth interwoven with feathers and pockets of all sizes. "When I first met one as a girl I screamed and ran and it chased me all over the street. I was SO scared that she wanted to eat me."
I nod along, still shaken. "Its beak looks really sharp." I reply meekly.
"Just for breaking open Pelepopas fruit." The bald one says flatly without even looking up from her meal. "They hate meat, and have to be trained to not run when they smell blood."
The two beside me give her annoyed looks.
"Jevita!" The tallest warns, then looks back to me.
"We," she emphasizes, "Are really sorry."
"It's okay." I reply looking back toward the door. "I'm sorry to freak you out. I should have just…"
The shorter woman's hand doesn't leave my shoulder, but subtly eases down to my elbow. "Please don't be! This always happens when we visit bigger cities. Especially Lyttoral. Lule gets really excited at all the new people is all."
"Can we apologize to you with a meal…" The tall one looks me up and down, and winces. "Did you get knocked in the water by him?"
"No, um… I mean yeah food does sound really nice! I was swimming and wanted to see this building and came up to read the sign." I blather as I let them lead me over to their table, looking back and forth between them as we walk.
"Really?" The fourth woman who hasn't spoken asks, "I always find the water too cold this time of year."
A chair is pulled over from another table for me and I am guided to sit between the two. The tall woman sets a plate down in front of me alongside a small eating prong before heading over to ruffle through some bags stacked on another table.
"Yeah it is, but I was a bit tired and thirsty from a run and wanted to…" I pause, suddenly aware of how strange I look amidst them. "I dunno… drifting away sounded nice."
There is a noticeable pause at the table.
"I take it back." Says the woman who spoke, "That does sound nice."
I begin to fill my plate, then almost drop it as I bolt upright. "Wait!"
They all look at me with surprise.
"Sorry!" I wince, embarrassed by my sudden outburst. "I just realized I forgot my book upstream!"
The shorter woman reaches out to draw me back down to my seat. "Oh, one of us can go get it."
Then she looks directly at Jevita.
Jevita lets out a sigh, "Where'd you leave it?"
"Eh… Are you sure? You're already feeding me and…?" I try to protest.
She snatches up a few fruits from the tray, "I need to check on Lule anyway. Now spill it."
I don't know how to insist nicely, so I slide back into my seat. "Other side of the canal on this street, about… 3 buildings along?"
Without another word she turns and heads out. Before the door shuts I hear a trill from Lule and notice his silhouette through the window.
"I'm sorry for all the trouble." I whisper.
"Don't be!" The shorter woman leans over and whispers conspiratorially, "We're actually trying to bribe you."
"Yrelia!" Calls the tall woman, starting to pull some different colored cloth things from the bags. "We're not!"
"It's really not a big deal!" I pick up the prong and stab at a steaming tube of red and yellow I don't recognize but like the salty smell of. "I just got startled is all."
I take a bite and am in love. The richness of the thing is amazing and the harmony of the flavors isn't something I've ever experienced! It's definitely not native to this region. I'm instantly hit with a bit of guilt at the thought of eating something rare of theirs.
"It really is." Yrelia replies with a smile. "But not for the scare, you get that for free. The real bribe is to keep you from telling any duenna that we're keeping our Quelekita in the city."
I pause after the third bite, "Is that not allowed?"
"Only if the duenna we have an arrangement with is pushed on the issue." The tall woman gathers up her bundle of cloth and approaches, sighing as she sits down beside me. "We'll be gone by tomorrow morning, and there is no chance anyone else will come down here to investigate on festival night."
"Yeah but our duenna might squeeze another bag of fruits from us to keep it that way." The other woman playfully argues.
The tall woman huffs and reaches out to take up her drink, a bit of a rosy blush crossing her cheeks beneath the cup. "Then I would persuade her not to. I'd just need some privacy and half an hour."
They all grin and chuckle at that. She then sets down her cup and turns to me as I finish a second strangely colorful fruit. "So! You are still soaking wet. Here are some towels to make sure you don't get sick or muss up any more of our lovely host's establishment."
I accept them, stand, and dry off as best I can before wrapping the driest towel around my waist and setting another around my shoulders.
"Oh, I'm Tasii by the way," the tall woman to my right informs me as I sit back down.
"And I'm Yrelia, in case you didn't catch it" Intones the one on my left. "And the rude one that left is Jevita."
"She's not rude." I disagree and I reach out to poke up two smallish cut cubes with pink fuzzy outsides.
"She really is, but not so much that we want her to leave." The last, and most quiet of the group sounds off. She is a little shorter than me with braided dark ginger hair, a tunic of embroidered colors, and some sparkles glinting across her pale rusty colored skin. "And I'm Kquevaian, Or just Kque if that's too long to recall easily."
"It's nice to meet you all." I reply to them with a mouthful of amazingly spicy, yet still sweet fruit. "This is a really nice end to a… I'm not sure what kind of day this has been honestly. Amazing but stressful. I'm kinda fumbling at things and trying to figure out how to start over."
There is a patient pause, but when it goes on for an awkward moment after I finish chewing.
"Well… don't leave us in suspense." Yrelia smirks. "Now you have to tell us more."
"She does not!" Tasii rebukes while plopping a few of the small pink fuzzy things on her plate as well. "I'm not sure we can afford more bribes on this trip."
"Speak for yourself!" Yrelia pushes back "I am more than willing to offer up quite a bit to hear the story of a cute girl who bursts in on my dinner with nothing more than a few tantalizing rags and some water on her back!"
Tasii prepares a chiding reply. But Kque cuts in first, "Can we at least ask your name?"
They all look at me, and I freeze.
I can't very well use my old name. I wasn't ever really that person, and to use it now would be… wrong. And stupid.
I quickly stuff another fruit in my mouth and try to think.
I have names I like, names I dreamt of taking for myself if things were different. But which do I pick? What if It sounds stupid out loud? Can I change it?
Tasii gives me an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry about them. This trip has been an interesting bag of both good and bad luck for us. We just scraped up some good luck and were celebrating. Boiled our meal in some fine Lyttoral wines even."
I'm shaking my head before I can even swallow. "No no, it's fine!" I manage to get out between the surprising chewy bite. "I'm just… not used to people wanting to know about me."
It's weird how true that is. I can remember being asked about me or my art, but all of it was… just a layer to cover up who I was. No one else really even dabbled in my hobbies. They could never really even understand how to ask. How to break through those layers. So much of me has been built on my desire to be this.
"I guess… as of today I'm starting over. I'm leaving Lyttoral and don't think I'm going to come back." I look between them, then settle my eyes somewhere on the tray of amazing food they've shared with me. "I'm leaving everything behind, including an old name. I didn't pick it and never really liked it. So I'm kind of flipping through some favorites in my head right now trying to settle on a new one."
"Oh." Is the first thing that's spoken after a few seconds. I look over to Tasii, who's expression has gone weirdly blank.
"Names are hard," Yrelia lays a hand on my shoulder, "Would you like second or third opinions on those ideas?"
I nod, heart fluttering and eyes watering. "Yes please. I'm sure my first choices sound great in my head but I'm going to regret them the moment I say them aloud."
I share them and why I like each one. Some are from stories, but they don't seem to recognise them. I'm careful not to point out my favorite, worried it'll get critiqued too hard. But they all just point out the ones they like best, Kqueeven suggests a slight alteration to one if I'm interested.
"You can sleep on it if you'd like," Tasii assures me as she pours me a cup of some sweet smelling wine from a large gord. "And if something doesn't feel right we can keep trying."
"If you don't have anywhere to be you should totally stay the night here with us," Yrelia says after taking another sip of her own wine, "We've rented the entire building for the night so there's plenty of space."
I feel something I didn't know was clenched tight inside me relax at the offer. I really want to stay with them. I have nowhere to go, and would have probably slept in the fields or forest. I doubt they knew that, but they could tell I am very alone. Or at least I was.
I nod, "That sounds nice." Then I can feel my eyes water and my voice catch. "Thank you."
"Aw, it's really no trouble." Yrelia assures me laying a hand on my back.
I use the towel around my shoulders to dry my tears and wipe my nose. "And I'm sorry. I–"
It's then that the door opens and we all turn to see Jevita return.
She's pausing in the doorway, eyebrow raised, stress plain on her face.
"Did you hear the temple alarm when you were in the street?"
Oh no.