We are all a kind of Iron Man.
This sentence must not have made any sense to you, I imagine, but you will understand. When I say that we are all a kind of Iron Man, I don't mean that we are all absurdly intelligent, stuck-up, rich, and carriers of advanced technology capable of battling monsters and aliens that are fanatical about 50%. No.
This metaphor is more to represent our relationship with our body. We are like Tony Stark in his armor. We are pilots in a covering of flesh called body.
By now you must have thought about the possibility of closing this text and go find something more interesting to read, because the narrator must clearly be on drugs and is not making any sense. Well, I will prove to you that I am not that crazy.
We have a personality, a way of dealing with things and interacting with the world around us. Some people call it soul, others ego, but I prefer to call it persona, why? Because I like this word.
There is also a primitive part of us. It manifests itself through impulses and life wills. The desire to eat, which we call hunger. The desire to drink water, which we call thirst. The desire to go to the bathroom, which we call you-know-what. The point is that this primitive part would be like the operating system of our flesh armor, its only function being to keep the body alive.
Many times we are interacting with something we enjoy, for example reading a book or playing a sport or watching an animation about a boy who found an alien watch, and we simply don't listen to the messages that this primitive side sends us. But as soon as we stop the activity, hunger, tiredness, the urge to go to the bathroom, sleep, all come at once. If we spend too much time ignoring these warnings, our operating system decides to choose for ourselves: have you ever heard of fainting?
And it is not only in primitive impulses that this J.A.R.V.I.S. of the body acts. It knows when a gear starts to lock, when a screw starts to loosen, when a part is being misused and can break at any moment. And it warns. At first it may seem like just an annoying, nagging thought, like a pop-up that appears when it shouldn't. But the more you try to ignore it, the more it tends to get your attention, setting off sirens and emitting warning signals to let you know that something is wrong.
Often the malfunction of a part is easily fixable by ourselves. However, in some situations we need specialized help to deal with the repair.
But in some cases, there are so many defective parts, so many "error" messages, so many sirens going off in a thousand places that we don't even know where to start looking for help. Sometimes it just slips out, reaching the ears of the nearest person at the moment...
"Help me..." said Ben.
Gwen looked at her cousin, and at first didn't move.
What do I do? Gwen thought.
She decided to get closer. She took the first step towards him, but the environment they were in reminded her that they were not in the real Bellwood.
The tremor began on the ground and spread through the air. In a matter of moments Gwen felt her whole body shaking. The images of the houses, streets and even the creatures became blurred and distorted, as if they were moving at high speed in all directions. Only the cousins remained paralyzed at the epicenter of the confusion.
As the seconds passed, the visual frenzy became nauseating, and Gwen tried to keep her eyes closed to lessen the impact of the dizziness that came over her. The girl felt her heart beating frantically in her chest, with each beat resounding in her ears.
She tried to open her eyes to look for her cousin, but the significant reduction of space around her drew her attention even more. It was as if the entire city had been reduced to an elevator room that kept getting smaller and smaller. A clautrophobic feeling came over her, and her breathing became even faster and more desperate.
An intense fear took over her. The nausea, the trembling, the racing heart, the gasping breath, the difficulty to focus her vision, the frantic thoughts, everything there indicated a condition of absurd danger.
For Gwen it was only a matter of time. Everywhere she looked she felt as if the final strike was about to come. Her breathing became increasingly rapid and uncomfortable.
I-I've had it... Thought Gwen. I know what to do... I know what to do...
Gwen closed her eyes and tried to focus on her breathing. It was difficult because she felt her chest moving on its own, but she kept persisting, forcing at least one part of her body to obey her. He needed to breathe.
Inhale-Exhale-Inhale-Exhale-Inhale-Exhale-
Exhale-Inhale... Exhale-Inhale-Exhale...
Inhale... Exhale-Inhale...
Exhale... Inhale...
Exhale...
Inhale...
Exhale.....
Inhale.......
Exhale.......
Little by little, the young woman regained control of her body, her mind, her emotions.
She opened her eyes, and her surroundings were still in chaos, but no longer impacted her.
He looked around and saw Ben sitting on the ground in constant despair. He was struggling, gasping for air, and trying to push away anything that could hurt him. Gwen didn't blink and ran towards him.
***
Ben felt his chest hurt. His hands tingled, his arms felt heavy, and his mouth was numb. His vision was a mixture of blurriness and complete blindness. His heart seemed to gallop around aimlessly, each beat echoing throughout his body. In his ears there was only a thin, prolonged ringing. It felt as if the world squeezed him all at once. He wanted to run, to escape, to get out of there, to get out of it. He couldn't breathe. He could feel the air entering his lungs, but he wanted more and more air. The pain in his chest was getting worse. I'm going to die! Somebody help me, I'm going to die! He struggled. He was reaching for something and nothing at the same time. I'm going to die! He felt as if he heard something. Somebody help me! He wanted to scream. Was he screaming? His throat was closing up. My chest hurt. I need air. Again a sound. A voice? Help me, I'm dying! It was a voice. It was calling your name. Help me!
"Ben..." said the voice
Help me! I don't want to die!
"Ben, concen..."
The pain in his chest was getting worse. Now his legs were numb. The left arm was burning painfully.
"Ben, concentrate on my voice!"
I don't want to die!
"Breathe with me, go!"
Breathe!? I can't breathe!
"Pull in the air..."
I-I can't!
"Release the air..."
I-I-I...
"Pull the air..."
P-pull the air...
"Release the air..."
Release the air
"Pull the air."
***
It wasn't quick. Ben took his time getting out of the crisis.
If Gwen had suspected that her cousin was not well, now it was a certainty.
She had had a period of great anxiety before, that was when the anodite side of her genetics awoke. It wasn't easy. But it certainly never reached the level of the crisis she empathetically experienced a few moments ago.
Ben is sick and needs help.
***
"That's it, keep breathing calmly," Gwen said. Sitting next to her cousin, she held one of his hands and smoothed it gently in support.
"Gwen, I..." said the teenager. His eyes were still moist, but there was no longer any panic in his gaze.
"You don't have to say anything, Ben, just concentrate on breathing for now."
"I'm better now..."
"Really?"
"Yes..." he answered with his head down.
Gwen breathed a little easier. She looked at her surroundings. There was nothing there. No sign of Bellwood or creatures.
"What happened to me?" asked Ben.
"You had a panic attack."
"What do you mean?"
"It's complicated to explain, but the main thing is that now we know what is happening to you and we can help you."
"How? Ben looked deep into Gwen's eyes."
"We will need medical help, that's a fact, because Anxiety is not something that should be treated just anything, believe me."
"But I've never had this before..."
"And there at the power station?"
"No. That's not what happened..."
"Wasn't it?"
Gwen saw the boy look down at his hands, followed his gaze, and noticed that Ben's hands were shaking again.
"Ben! Here, talk to me!"
He lowered his hands and again faced Gwen.
"If it wasn't an anxiety attack, what did you have at the station?"
"I don't know. I just know..."
"What do you know?"
"I just know that it hurt."
Gwen listened to these words carefully. If Ben didn't have an anxiety attack at the station, maybe that was what made him sick. As she learned from her doctor a few years ago, it is not uncommon to develop anxiety after a traumatic event. She asked:
"Can you explain to me what happened?"
"No..."
She bowed her head, thinking for a few moments. She feared the answer she would receive, but she had to ask.
"Can you show me?"
"You wouldn't like it..."
"It's not a question of liking it or not. It's a question of finding an answer so I can help you. Come on, show me," she said, offering her hands.
Ben held his cousin's hands. He closed his eyes and concentrated on the memories. Gwen concentrated on making the connection.
Empathy is one of the most beautiful and strongest abilities of the human being. The ability to feel with the other. To feel their happiness, their sadness, their concern, their pain.
It was only three seconds, but it was enough to make Gwen impulsively let go of her cousin's hands and interrupt the connection.
"Ben, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" Gwen trembled "I didn't mean to let go of your hand, it's just that-"
"Don't worry, Gwen, I understand."
"Is that what you felt back at the station?"
"Yes, and something similar when I was on the mission with Grandpa Max. By the way, how is he?"
"He's fine."
"Glad to hear it." I really thought I'd lost him with that Albedo attack.
"You know Grandpa, he's tougher than he looks."
"His stomach sure is!"
They both laughed for a moment.
"And now what?" asked Ben "What do we do?"
"I'm not sure, but did you find the answer to what you were looking for?"
"I don't think so, I still don't know what's wrong with the watch..."
"So we have to-"
"I'd say I've found the reason I'm running away," interrupted Ben.
"What do you mean?"
"From the beginning of this whole situation, it was as if I was trying to ignore that something was happening."
"Really?"
"Yes. Thinking back now, I felt as if a part of me wanted to simply pretend that the event at the station simply didn't happen, while another part was trying to warn me that there was something very wrong with me."
"I know this feeling well..."
"And pretending that the problem didn't exist only made me repeat the mistakes." Ben stared at his watch.
"But it's different now," Gwen said, standing up.
"Oh, is it?"
"Of course," she said, offering a hand to her cousin, "now more than ever you understand that you are not alone and that you can always count on us to help you."
"With us?" Ben accepted the help and stood up "Is there anyone else here?"
"No! But Kevin and Grandpa are also out there looking for a way to help you."
"Got it. Now you stay here in my mind or I'll-"
Ben is interrupted by Gwen's sudden embrace. At first he is unresponsive, then he returns the gesture. For a few seconds, they said nothing, just shared the happiness represented by that hug. Gwen then says
"I'll wait for you outside, doofus"
"See you in a bit, dweeb.
Her body is coated in an intense light, her luminous silhouette twists and disappears in a single point.
***
Back in the room in the medical wing of the Plumber's Headquarters, the orchestra of medical apparatus goes on uninterrupted.
Near the foot of Ben's bed, a bright spot appears in the air and expands in a pop, causing the young anodite to reappear a few inches off the floor.
Gwen reaches down and rests a hand on the nearest wall. Her head aches and intense fatigue takes over every muscle in her body. All her efforts were beginning to take their toll. What about Ben? She walks towards the bed and observes her cousin's body still kept in its comatose state.
Did I leave too soon? She thought.
Now it was sleep. It had been days since she had slept and she felt like her body was under Jupiter's gravity. She pulled her companion's chair close and sat with her head resting on the bed, over his arms. If Ben made any move, she would notice.
Like a computer forcing a shutdown, Gwen fell asleep.
She didn't see the moment her cousin woke up. She didn't feel his hand come up beside her and rest it gently on her head. Just as she didn't hear him say:
"Thanks, cousin."