I fell in love with love at a very early age. I wouldn't say I was fully aware of what it was when I first had the feeling, but I recognized it as something strong, strange and addictive, even from the very first moment. It was something my young mind could not really understand, but it never stopped me from feeling what I felt, and ever since then, I fell in love every time, anytime, over and over again.
I was six when I had my first love. It was love at first sight.
I was attending a wedding with an aunt of mine, aunty Flora. When the little bride and groom strolled in ahead of the couple during the procession, I took one look at the little groom and all I wanted to do was replace the little bride, take her gown and her place, so that I could stand by the side of the little groom, and hold his hand in her place. He was this cute, bubbly little thing, looking all handsome and like a small man in his smart blue tuxedo. His skin glowed as if it was illuminated from within and his smile was as ravishing as it was charming, so that even to my young and naive mind, it did a lot of things that I did not understand and I felt a lot of things that I had never felt before. He was a child of one of the big families who came from the city to attend the wedding in our small village. The daughter of the village chief was getting married to a man from the big city, so there were a lot of strangers who had come all the way from the city to be in attendance. The ceremony was so crowded, and there were plenty of city people, as if an entire city had followed the couples down to the village to celebrate their marriage. It was very obvious that they were well known by a lot of people. Many rich and influential people, I guessed, from the way their wedding guests were dressed and by the cars they rode. The wedding venue was packed full with several expensive cars, we had to squeeze through a garage full of expensive cars to get into the venue. The couple themselves lived in the city, and they had only brought the wedding ceremony down to our village, just to honor the parents of the bride.
I tapped my aunty Flora on her shoulder, and pointed to the little groom as he strolled down the aisle, past our pew in the hall.
"Aunty, I want to marry him." I said.
Aunty Flora laughed so loud that people began to turn in our direction. She had to put her hands over her mouth, just to stifle her laughter and avert the questioning gazes.
"Regina, what do you know about marriage?" She said to me, still fighting back bouts of laughter.
"When a man and a woman begin to live together." I told her. She laughed aloud again. This time, the woman sitting beside us tapped her a little and aunt Flora had to apologize.
"My niece is cracking me up." She explained to the woman, and then she went ahead to reveal to the total stranger the little secret desire I had just confided to her.
The woman looked at me rather sternly, as if I had done something wrong.
"Come on shut up!" She chided. "Look at this small girl oh. Don't you know you're still a child? What do you know about marriage?" She asked, and I just stared at her in confusion, not knowing what my crime was.
"If she says that again, you should beat her. Don't spoil that little girl oh." The woman advised my aunty Flora. Aunty Flora nodded in agreement and I wondered what I had done so wrong to deserve a whipping.
I sat quietly, watching the wedding service proceed. (Mostly, watching the little groom, that is. He played with so much cheer and light heart that I was sure I was older than him. He looked older, but he acted much younger. I wanted to go over and play with them, ask him if he was older or younger than me. But I didn't know how he would react or if that would provoke my aunt Flora to give me that whipping which she had been advised upon. So, I just sat there, watching from a distance).
As I watched the little groom, it became more disturbing why I had to receive a beating for liking this boy and wanting to marry him.
If marrying someone you like was a crime, why then were we sitting there in that hall, watching two people who like themselves get married?
"Why can't I marry him?" I asked my aunty Flora suddenly.
She looked at me in confusion at first.
"You said?" She asked.
"I said, why can't I marry the boy. I like him." I repeated.
My aunty Flora looked at me in surprise for a moment, then she laughed. This time, she made an effort to hide it so that the woman sitting next to us would not notice.
"Because you're still a child. You're too young to marry or even like anybody." She whispered to me.
"So, when am I allowed to like somebody?" I asked her. She looked at me thoughtfully.
"Maybe, when you're older. Like, at the age of seventeen or eighteen. When you're in highschool maybe." She said.
"Highschool?" I asked.
"Yes. You can start liking someone then. And then by the time you are twenty or more and done with college, you can get married to whoever you like." Aunty Flora explained.
Highschool;
I whispered. I can only wait until highschool. Not college, no or whenever. I could not wait that long. Not if there were so many more of the likes of this beautiful ring bearer!
I watched my love sadly, as he went about with his duties.
'Once the wedding ends, he'll be gone. And I would never see him again', I thought to myself in silence.
If only I were in highschool already!
I would wait. Only until highschool, I would wait, and then, I would fall in love for sure!
I promised myself in consolation.