My life.

Today, it was cold outside, i woke up, the alarm didnt wake me up, i woke up myself but it was just about 10 min utes before i have to go to bus. I wasnt going to miss school because my mom would shout at me, i grew up in a somewhat strict household, with strict rules but somewhat freedom, both my mom, aunts and uncles were disciplined correctly by their parents. We were taught not to hit females, not to argue with our elders and to always respond to a fool with silence, some may say we were rich but itsnkinda in the middle, My parents, aut and grandparents refused to spend money on stupid things like toys, Or things that wasnt needed, so i learnt to never ask for anything. We lived in nigeria, which is in africa, i barely saw any white people the whoe time i was there, i would say it was populated by 98% black. There was never even a problem of racisim, like i said earlier, we were mostly blacks, so if you discriminate then youre just ignorant on the fact youre the same race as that person. I never really cared for anything, followed rules, avoided people and refused to speak when not needed, i wouldnt say i avoided friend, more like i ouldnt make any, I made some friend when i was in nigeria, but it wouldnt last long because we would always move and i had to say goodbye to the friends i made, here in the u.s It is hard to make friends because of my accent and my lifestyle differs from people here, either i creep them out or weird them out, throughout 8th grade, i made no friends, i thought i made one but he wasnt really my friend, he hated me, i wont say the reason he hated me but it was well justified and i dont blame him, i would hate me too if i was him, infact, i dont blame my whole 8th grade class for hating me. People say the key to making friends is to have good grades but that is infact wrong, as proven by me, i was an honor roll student, had a streak of 100's, I was proud of myself and wanted my parents to be proud of mme but that didnt infact happen, they were still disappointed, they got used to me getting a 100 that each time i get below a 100 they would yell at me and take my playstation, so i decided that in 9th grade, i wont try my best and get b's and c's all the time, they will eventually get used to it and expect less from me. Kinda sad it worked but what can i say, nothing much just that my life is a tiring loop. Now lets talk about love, i have liked someone multiple times throught me oriwing up but none seemed to like me bakc, i eventually got used to that fact and decided to stop loving people, stop making friends, not like i would make one if i tried so its useles to expect anything from anyone, ive been writing this for almost an hour traight and for some reason its not getting tiring, i kinda like it, now lets go back to the topic of my crush, the first one i had in the u.s Never really like me back and was two years older than me, found me a creep nd more, her friends hated me, not surprised because i was hated by mosty everyone, For some reason i cant get her out of my head, i even know her birthday, even when she moved to texas, i didnt have her number, we didnt become friends, probably blocked me, but for some reason someone right next to me looks too alike to her, that may be a coincidence and i'm kinda happy about it, ill never say a word to her but its worth knowing. Ive had many problems with school presentations because of my accent but ive just gotten used to expecting that outcome whenever i present. I barely catch up on trends, know shoe brands, listen to popular music or even like that, i just like sad songs, for some reason they give me comfort, weird right. My parents are always fighting, not physically, in particular my stepdad, he makes me so mad but i wont dare to show it, i dont have a single ounce of love for him, do i even love anything, i think about myself all the time, if he dies, how woud that affect me, if she leaves how would that affect me, i try multiple things. I still even know what im gonna do in the future, if im even gonna be a person with a good job, i barely do any work in school, use different tools to cheat, but i know better noto cheat in tests or exams but still, im a waste of a person, i cant even remember the last time i cried. Why am i writing this, idk, why not. I dont find myself handsome in any way at all, my iq is stupid, everything about me is just ordinary, less than ordinary if yure being precise, yes no human are exactly the same but we have the same limits, death, ill eventually die one daa, idk when but its worth living for, to experience the day when i die. The only thing keeping me alive is anime, a beautiful piece of art, i love it so much. I dont really care about the grammar in this text since it reflects the true me, not exactly the true me, i left some things out but its better not knowing. This is the only chapter, since i dont really care what happens to this.