Ah, Lily..."
She got a sultry look in her eyes. "Seriously David, I mean if there is anything ... I owe you."
Oh, man, being a virgin really sucks. I had some very specific ideas of what I would like to do, but I was not quite sure how to go about it. I suddenly felt a presence behind me. I turned around and Tami was standing there. She gave me a headshake and walked away. She's right. I shake my head to clear it.
"I'm just glad I was there. You scared the crap out of me." I shuddered to think what would have happened.
"The doctor told me if you had been only a little bit slower I would have suffered brain damage." That was scary. I remembered being scared to death she was going to die in my arms. It brought back a flood of images. She must have seen the faraway look. I felt her reach over and squeeze my hand.
I gave her a half smile. "I am just glad you're okay."
She looked down and said, "I am so sorry you got in so much trouble. I heard they made you go away for the summer."
I needed to look at the positives. "You know what? It was the best thing to happen to me. I was a jerk who was out of control. It was a wakeup call. The summer at my Uncle's farm gave me the time to figure out what is important to me. The biggest being I need to be a better person. Seeing you ... uhh ... I thought you were dead."
"Everyone was surprised when you didn't tell the police who all was there."
"To be honest, I was surprised too. Somehow, I knew I needed to own that night and my role in it. I'm so sorry I allowed you to be hurt." She looked shocked.
"But you SAVED me! You didn't do anything to hurt me," Lily said.
I blinked in surprise. I wasn't sure what I should do about this. Lily and I were never close. Even though I had recently started hanging out with the stoner group, she was a cute girl.
At the time, I was much more of a nerd and girls like her did not give me the time-of-day. It was obvious this hero worship had been building all summer. I was sure if she knew me she could quickly be cured, I am not the hero kind of guy.
"No Lily, a better friend would have realized you were too drunk and needed help. All I cared about that night was getting wasted." She was looking at me as if I were nuts.
"Nonsense ... I was the one who drank so much I essentially killed myself."
"What?"
"The doctor told me I drank enough to put myself into a coma. No one forced me to drink."
I guess I never thought of it that way. I actually felt as if a weight was lifted. I had been carrying around the responsibility for what happened. She was right. I didn't make her drink. I needed to let it go. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
I know if I continued to dwell on this, I will slip back into depression. Uncle John had pointed out numerous times I could not take on the responsibility for the actions of others. I think I can finally let this go.
Lily could see I was much happier knowing this. "Thank you for saying that. I was afraid you would hate me."
"No. I am just thankful you were there," Lily said.
"Stop," I said to get her to slow down. "I just happened to be trained in CPR. My training kicked in when I saw you were not breathing. I'm not anyone special. I saw you were in trouble and I reacted."
"But..." I interrupted her. "Okay! Can we agree you are thankful I helped you out? Please, I'm really uncomfortable with the whole hero thing, and NO, you do not owe me anything. I would NEVER expect anything for what I did."
She was grinning from ear-to-ear. "Alright you have a deal. I will back off with the hero talk and respect your wishes."
She screwed her face up and then turned to look out the window once before taking a deep breath. "One thing the police never made public is they found Rohypnol in my blood work. The combination was almost fatal."
What the hell? Rohypnol was known as a date rape drug. No one had ever mentioned Lily was a target. If I had known, I would have been more cooperative with the police. I'm sure they didn't tell me because I was a suspect. How could someone do that? The scary part was we were just kids. I mean, we were all in junior high at the time!
"Do you have any idea who might have slipped it into your drink?"
Her eyes looked dead. "I've gone over it in my head many times, but the drug must have done something because I honestly can't remember. I have talked to Sharon about the party a few times without telling about the drugs. I'm really embarrassed it happened. I could easily have been raped. That is not how I want to lose my virginity."
She suddenly went bright red when she realized what she had told me. I instinctively pulled her into my embrace. Her head was resting on my chest. She began to cry softly. She obviously had been holding this in for a long time.
I became aware we were in the middle of the cafeteria. All conversation had gone quiet around us as everyone was trying to figure out what was going on. A crying girl will do that, but I was not going to let go. I felt her shudder and then stiffen. I think she also realized our surroundings.
"Oh God David, I'm so sorry I just dumped all that on you." I saw the fear in her eyes.
"Lily, I am flattered you felt comfortable enough to tell me that. You have no worries about me talking about this."
I could see her visibly relax. Teenagers could be very cruel. I had seen it before and it made me a little sick to think people could be so uncaring of other s' feelings. I was a nerd and so were most of my friends, we experienced it on numerous occasions.
I needed time to process what she had just told me. I decided to change the course of this conversation. "Do you see the old gang?"
"Not really. I run into Sharon occasionally. She lives down the street and has invited me to some parties, but after that night I decided to make some changes." She was looking out the window again. Then she smiled. "Plus I got grounded for the summer. Mom and Dad were not happy. I think you know what that is like."
I knew what she meant. I just nodded. She continued, "David, I really no longer have any friends."
"Of course you do." She looked into my eyes and I just nodded. Lily got up and gave me a hug. I suddenly noticed she felt good in my arms. She had her next class across campus and had to get going. I went over to where my crew was eating and sat down. Tami raised her eyebrows, giving me a pointed look and then indicating with her eyes Lily walking away.
I shrugged. "Lily just wanted to thank me for helping her out."
Alan couldn't keep quiet. "What did you do to make her cry? Did you say something stupid to her? I know Tami is always calling you 'stupid boy'. Is she a good kisser?"
Jeff came to my defense. "Hang on Sherlock. Even though those are all very good questions, I am not sure they are really appropriate."
"Why not, we all want to know what is going on. So David, are you and Lily going out?"
Tami leaned over and whacked Alan in the forehead. "Ouch, what was that for?"
Tami just smirked. "Settle down. Let me handle this." That got Alan to shut up. Everyone knows Tami is the master of getting people to talk. I waited for the interrogation to begin. She looked at me and asked, "Are you okay?"
I felt my eyes begin to water and I just got up and walked out. She caught me off guard. I had been trying to tamp down my emotions for Lily's sake. Then I tried to play it cool with the gang all there. I think I could have handled any other question but that one.
I heard Alan say, "What the fuck?" Followed by the satisfying sound of Alan's forehead being smacked. "Ouch, what was that for?"
Right after lunch, I had PE. By the time I got there, my emotions were back under control.
For first semester, I signed up for swimming with Coach Engels. He is also the freshman football coach. We were lucky to have a swimming pool. A few years back one of the wealthy boosters organized a fundraiser for a swimming complex.
We were one of the few schools in our area that had one. I really liked to swim. Dad has gotten me involved in swimming through the park district. Next year I would be old enough to be a lifeguard. I think that would be a great summer job.
"Dawson, get over here." Crud, what had I done. It was only the first day after all.
"Coach... ?" I could see several other freshmen watching us. I was shortly going to be the talk of the school with a crying girl at lunch and now Coach getting on my case. Little did I know, helping Peggy this morning, was going to be an even bigger topic of conversation.
"You guys get in the water and start swimming laps." He waited until we were alone.
"John called me. He said you are going out for football." I looked confused. I realized Coach was talking about my Uncle. They had been college roommates. I also knew better than to contradict my Uncle John. For the past few months, he had been my anchor. If he said I was going out for football, I was going out for football.
"What do I need to do?" Coach Engels arched his eyebrows in surprise. He knew I was not a jock and had asked out of courtesy to my Uncle. When I didn't hesitate, it took him by surprise. He quickly gathered his wits.
"You have missed the first two weeks of practice so you will have to start at the bottom and earn a spot on the team."
"Yes sir."
"I need you to get your parents to sign a permission slip. I expect to see you at practice after school on Tuesday."
"Yes sir."
I guess I'm going out for football.