I'm already at home thinking if I should stop by her house. I must do something. How is tomorrow going to be?
…..
We got together at the party but left separately. I had no idea that things would be like this. The party was boring so me, Liv, Rick, and Ryles went outside to talk. Rick was talking only with Ryley of course and Liv was trying to make everyone comfortable.
Rick and Ryley left to go inside because Alisson, their friend, just got there from Canada, and it was their first time seeing each other after a while.
Me and Liv stayed because we didn't really know Alisson. We were there sited at something above the grass. Liv was very close to me, and she would keep coming closer. She hugged me and stayed like that for a while and spoke about her problems, and so I listened. We probably spend an hour there just me and her.
"You know Bels, you understand me better than anyone" I giggled as she said "For real!! don't laugh. I know you spend your time only with Riley, so I miss spending and speaking to you like that. No one gets me as you do." I just stared at her "We were friends before there was Ryley, you would be by my side... And now, if I want to be with you, it's always Bella and Ryley…"
I then said, "You don't like her",
"that's not the point Bels, I like her. But I like you more. You are my friend. You make me company you know…"
"I guess…" I answered lightly, so she continued "and you just keep going and going AND GOING after her. You know she likes boys. You shouldn't do this to yourself."
"I know she likes boys," I said firmly.
"Bells I know you love her like a friend and love her as a lover would." then I simply said, "I do". She breathed heavily while saying "My dear, what are you going to do then?? I don't see the scenery working for you" giving me a pity face, I hated that.
"I don't either," I said while laughing.
"And you are laughing too?? You are crazy" she said as laughing too.
"I can't do anything but be there for her."
"I know you are. That's the problem"
"soooo what you girls are here all by yourselves??" Ryley got there and spoke loudly.
"I mean, you left us here. So here we are" Liv responded "yep" I said.
"I see, close friend, stay close right? I know this one. She likes hugging right Liv?" Riley said in an uncool tone, pointing at me.
"I don't know. She does but so do I."
"Yeah, she likes to hug and I'm clingy aren't we compatible?" Ryley was saying in an unbothered tone
"yes," Liv responded.
"And so close, she keeps you so close." Now Ryley was looking at me.
"I don't know... She only keeps those she is comfortable with. Go and let her in the middle of a party and try to make someone hold her hand."
"heyyy it's not that bad!!" I finally said something.
"No?? Babe, you and Ryley walk around holding hands hugging and clinging to one another, she even sits on your lap, never and I mean never, you would let me sit on your lap or even if I stooked myself at your arm, you wouldn't walk me around as you do"
"ok ok we all love our Bella, now let's get something to eat, I went to the kitchen there were some hambs," Ryley said fast
"okay" I said as I got up
Ryles pushed me to walk really fast I couldn't even call Liv to go with us. We walked fast inside the house she said she didn't want to talk to anyone. she said she was annoyed. The kitchen was empty if not us. And indeed there were sandwiches.
"I'm hungry," she said putting some on a plate for us. "I remember you talked about Liv. it was when we started hanging, remember? on how close you were and how she inspired u on wanting to be an artist and how your moms know each how you go to her place eat sleep…" At this point, it seems she was just saying whatever.
"yes, she's being around.."
"No. She is around.
"I guess, Ryley"
"You always say I'm your number 1, you say you love me you know I remember these words."
"Yes of course I love you"
"So now are you going to start to go to her house, meet her parents, show your work…"
"What are you even saying??"
"You always say you only do these to me."
"And I do!"
"But I know how close you were and it seemed that she still takes you as close as you..were…?"
"don't say this."
"oh, and now you are mad? I should be the one mad here"
"Ryley you are speaking but you don't even know what you are saying."
"So that's how going to be. Leave and Liv again?"
"We can talk when you get in a better mood. I'm leaving"
"nooooo! stay sorry I'm silly I'm stupid this that I am saying is dumb. ofc you love me right?"
"I love u Ryley. I really love you"
"You are too cool you know. I get afraid you might get tired and leave me."
"pffff never here is where I'm staying"
"did you say those to Liv too?
"whatt?"
"She was your closest friend and now you don't speak a lot. Did you say those to her?"
"believe in me, I only say this to you. It's my first time."
"I love you too. don't go away" she concluded
"I'm not leaving," I said.
She kept me in a close hug. There was a poor light, but I could perfect see her beautiful face
"You are pretty. Too pretty" she said.
"You are beautiful too beautiful, "I said
She kept hugging me but with her face buried in my neck
"You have no idea how scared I get to lose you." she's crying now.
"hey hey dont c'mon don't be like this. Didn't I say I'm yours.. I mean.. I'm by your side forever"
"I'm your's too"
In a second she kissed me. I got surprised so didn't do anything. She then touched my jaw to hold me and then made me open my mouth. She kissed my neck my jaw and my lips again. This time I kissed her. I hold her closer. I got more confident.
We spent a lot of time there. Kissing talking hugging.
Then we got out
I didn't know what to do. But I went to stay close to her.
Someone offered her a ride home.
She went only with a goodbye. We always go together.
That night we didn't
These events happened this fast.
And now here I am. Thursday I have no idea what I should do.