On his birthday, the novel enthusiast Qu Mei received a novel as a gift, but it had been rated as a worst-selling novel, being so unpopular there were only twenty-one copies that were ever sold.
It had been a prank gift because he had the same name as the novel's protagonist, but he decided to read it anyway, mostly out of curiosity.
At first, it started pretty sweet, the Qu Mei in the story was lovable and bubbly. It told his story from childhood where he was pampered by a complete and loving family, while he wasn't some first-class young master of a well-known family, his parents were very competent and they lived quite well.
Around the time the protagonist turns ten years old, it introduces the object of his affection and the novel's male lead: Sang Qian.
The male lead was five years older than him and was someone with a mild personality but a strong sense of responsibility to those he cares about. The story's Qu Mei confessed to him when he was sixteen and Sang Qian was twenty-one, but Sang Qian thought it was a joke, unknowingly dismissing him.
Heartbroken, the novel's Qu Mei could only love him from afar. The story went on to follow him on his pitiful journey of loving his unrequited crush and caring for him secretly as he watched him get together with other people, only being treated as a little brother.
Qu Mei felt like this protagonist was too pitiful that he almost dropped the book, he understood now why it had poor ratings. The only reason as to why he persisted was because he had a very strange sense of familiarity, as he read through it, he felt like it was him experiencing all of that.
He felt every scene so intensely that he thought he had gone crazy just from reading.
"It's normal to feel so many emotions, as a reader you would empathize with the characters and get attached to them. Plus he has the same name as you."
His friend told him.
But Qu Mei knew it was too different from simply being a sympathetic reader.
It was like he was the protagonist…
And then he reached the last few chapters.
— For a few seconds, it was like Qu Mei stopped breathing as the muscles in his body collectively freeze. The scene before him was like that of a nightmare, up ahead there was a large truck with loose breaks while the oblivious Sang Qian and his friend had already reached the middle of the road where the truck could perfectly crush him.
There was no expression on his youthful face, but his legs had already begun moving before his brain could register what he was doing. His steps quickly turn into a sprint as he shoved the two men aside just a few moments before he took the full force of the blow.
His body flew and his head crashed soundly on the concrete, and just like that, he had yet to acknowledge what he'd done when his head became numb, no longer able to conjure one last thought.
Maybe he heard Sang Qian scream, maybe it was his last wish that he did hear him cry for him, but nothing could be done. At least it was him and not Sang Qian, 'cause he knew Sang Qian wouldn't miss him like he would if he died. —
The Qu Mei that read this had a first thought: "What the fuck! I get why no one likes this story!"
Then his second: "Wait a second…"
Like an avalanche, everything came crashing down. This was how he died in his past life… he was, this Qu Mei?
Ever since reading this novel, he'd been having dreams, initially dismissed as his mind visualizing the story in his sleep. It was only then that he realized just how ridiculously wrong he was.
"Why did my past life become a shitty tragedy novel?!" Qu Mei was so angry he could spit blood, he threw the book down and abandoned it.
After a time, his anger subsided and he contemplated his past life choices. "Was I really this stupid? I had a good life and I threw it all away because of a man who was unwilling to see me as an adult even after turning thirty. I wish I could go back and redo everything, then I really wouldn't fall for that fool."
Like a stupid cat, he let his curiosity get the best of him once again. So he finished reading the last chapter.
— "Ququ… please, gege is sorry." Sang Qian's mournful sobs could never reach Qu Mei anymore. "Come back to me…"
"Sang Qian, get away from my brother." Qu Guo's eyes were as red as her earrings, a gift given to her by her late younger brother. "If he needs to come back, it shouldn't be to you."
Her eyes were fierce and she spoke with unwavering conviction.
Sang Qian slowly and unwillingly backed away, falling back into the embrace of his friend from that night. San Yan wanted to ask Qu Guo to be less harsh on Sang Qian, but he didn't dare, it was her brother, not theirs.
"Leave! We, family, need to be alone!" She yelled at both of them.
Qu Mei's parents no longer knew what to say to this young man who mourned for their son after belittling his feelings and being the reason he could no longer be with them.
Qu Mei's father who has never known a day without smiling, could no longer smile as he wept, holding his wife's pale hands.
Qu Mei's mother who was fierce and cold, could no longer keep an indifferent expression as she silently cried facing her beloved son's picture.
Frozen in time, with a silver frame, Qu Mei smiled so brightly that it should have been infectious. Only now, no one could dare smile.
Qu Guo slumped on the floor before her brother's casket, unable to hold herself together, she wailed like a child, gripping her brother's last bed. Her husband was crouched beside her, holding her shoulders firmly to assure her he was there for her and letting her express her grief.
"Why did you leave… for that fool!" She cried.
Her husband's furrowed brows deepened in sadness, he hugged her and pulled her to her feet.
"You love him so much that all your love goes to him, nothing is left for us…"
Sang Qian was outside and could hear everything, his tears kept running even as the confusion grew evident on his face. His dull, dark eyes widened and his handsome face turned ugly as the realization set in.
Qu Mei loved him, and he was the worst person in the world for not having realized it sooner.
The thirty-six-year-old man sank, like a dam breaking, he cried uncontrollably and his shoulders shook with his body. San Yan stood across from him, not knowing what to do, with his guilt he could only look down and regret. He wasn't as close to Qu Mei as Sang Qian was, and he once envied Qu Mei because although he and Sang Qian never ended up together…
He was the only person Sang Qian could never break up with. —
"Bullshit." Qu Mei spat on the last line, he'd been crying at the part his family grieved for him, but now he was just mad. "I can't believe that's the last line for a novel telling my life story. Bullshit!"
He threw the book again, gritting his teeth as he did. "I can't understand why I was this stupid! Was my world really just a novel and I was really just acting according to its script?! Fuck!"
His anger could reach the skies as he swore.
"Romance? Slice of Life? Puppy Love?! It's not romantic at all! It's not realistic at all! What the hell are these tags!" In his anger, he looked up the novel's forum.
Not many left a comment, only less than half a hundred expressed their grievances. Many despised Qu Mei's choices, but some pitied him, some showed their everlasting hatred for Sang Qian, and they expressed how thankful they were to have read on illegal sites but lamented their wasted time, while the rest only cursed the anonymous author.
"Whatever! However the hell all this happened, that— is my dark past. And I've been given a new life and I'll fucking enjoy it!"
Such famous last words.
Who would have known that a similar truck would come to hunt him down and end this new life of his?
Qu Mei wanted to curse.
When he came to, he had already returned to his first infant body as a newborn, as if someone had pressed a restart button and given him another chance to rewrite his first life.
Helpless and unable to even speak, he relented and gave this life another go. This time he won't fall for Sang Qian, to hell with his fate, he's going to enjoy his life no matter what!