Turning away from the stairs, I head down our hallway and turn sharply left into the main hallway, where I nearly collide with a skinny girl wearing a Pinocchio costume except for the doll's head.
"Careful," she warns me as she steps into her oversized foam shoes.
"I'm sorry…" I regain my balance, walk past the girl, and see Snow White to her right, but it's someone different, brown hair tied back, black wig in hand, bubblegum on her head. mouth.
"Kristen, are you in the parade tonight?" Snow White asks, unsuccessfully masking her Chicago accent from her.
"No, I'm done for today," answers Pinocchio.
I turn as they pass me, but I notice Charlie and Gillian staring at me.
Please… take it easy, Charlie pleads with his eyes, clearly cowed.
I nod and continue down the hall. They both follow me a few paces away, but they know what it takes to be invisible. Do it fast and never stop moving. It's just like when I managed to sneak Charlie into the R-rated movies. The moment you have the appearance that the thing does not go with you, well the thing does not go with you.
Arriving at what appears to be an underground pedestrian tunnel, I glance down the concrete hallway, which is about the width of two cars. We are immediately engulfed by the colorful tide of Disney employees wearing everything from cowboy boots and Frontier hats to futuristic silver shirts from Tomorrowland to the simple collared, unadorned shirts of the Disney staff. concierge I take off my tie, put it in my pocket, and undo the top button of my shirt. I'm just another Disney employee on my way to the locker room.
"Enemies at ten," Charlie warns me.
Following that direction, I look up to the left and see two policemen patrolling the tunnel. Shit. I instinctively reach to the back of my pants and check that Gallo's gun is still there. Just in case.
"They're not armed," Charlie adds, knowing what I'm thinking.
As the Disney police close in on us, I realize they're right. They wear metal plates and blue shirts, but that's as far as the uniform ends. I take a quick look at their holsters. None carry weapons. Still, that doesn't mean we can take them on. When one of them looks my way, I look down at the ground. Focus on yours, don't look up, I tell myself. Thirty seconds is enough. The cops walk away without
look at us again and I raise my head to meet the maze again. The problem is that I don't have the foggiest idea where I'm going.
I quicken my pace and try to cover as much distance as possible, moving down the wide corridor, inhaling the damp, underground air. From the faded purple tape covering the lower half of the hallway, I'd say this place hasn't had a lick of paint in the last ten years. It may be the headquarters for all the Magic Kingdom employees, but like the cheap industrial carpeting we use in the non-customer areas of the bank, Disney keeps its money tightly in check. Still, the nuts and bolts of the park are certainly here: air conditioning ducts overhead, pipes running along the walls, and metal door after metal door marked "Maintenance," "Debris Control/AVAC" and "Danger: High Voltage". Right above us, children hug good old Pooh, and parents marvel at how clean paradise exhibits. Down here Pinocchio is a girl and the waste chute rumbles so loud you can feel it in your teeth. That's the stuff of magic.
To my right, a black man dressed as a Tiki bird is exiting a door labeled "Stairway #5: The Legend of the Lion King." A little further on, from "Staircase #12: The Old Christmas Store", a blond female elf emerges. Every three meters, people seem to come out of nowhere and, no matter how calm I want to appear, I can't get rid of the feeling that we are beginning to discover ourselves. I examine the pipes that cover the ceiling and look for security cameras. If someone's watching, we're running out of time. And worst of all, time runs blindly. Three blind mice.
The further we go, the more metal doors we are forced to go through; the more doors we pass, the more the corridor seems to curve; the more the hallway curves, the more intense the feeling I get of walking in circles. "West Park Maintenance"... "First Aid"... "Rest Area"... Where the hell is the ACS?
"This is ridiculous," Gillian finally says. Maybe we should part.
"No," Charlie and I say in unison. But it is clear that we need to change strategy.
A little further on, an older woman dressed as a pilgrim comes out of a room labeled "Personal." She looks about fifty years old. I wave to Charlie; he shakes his head. The older they are, the more likely they are to ask us for the Disney ID card. Behind the pilgrim is a girl in jeans and a Barnard T-shirt. Charlie nods. Not the best plan, but we have to make a move. We both know who's the best when it comes to strangers.
"Can I ask you a stupid question?" Charlie says, moving closer to Miss Barnard as she tries to increase her charm. I usually work at EPCOT...
"That's why they let you keep your hair dyed," the girl interrupts.
Unfazed, Charlie bursts out laughing.
"Don't they let you dye your hair around here?" she asks, running her hand through her blonde locks. He tries to appear relaxed, but from where I stand with Gillian I can see the sheen of sweat on the back of her neck.
"Are you joking?" she asks.
—. It's a bad image.
"Yeah, well, there's a lot to say.
about the bad image," Charlie teases nervously. In any case, I've been sent down here to collect something from a place called DACS...
"DACS?"
"I think it's some kind of computer room.
"Sorry, I've never heard of that place," she says as I bite the inside of my lip. But if you want you can look for it on the map.
"Flat?"
The girl points over her shoulder. Around the hall from "Personal."
"That would be great," Charlie says, heading over to it. And if one day you come by EPCOT...
"Don't joke with her!"
"... I'll take care of the visit from the giant golf ball."
"Okay," she says with a wide Disney smile.
Charlie waves goodbye; Miss Barnard returns to the maze. When she's gone, the three of us turn the corner of the hallway. There's the wall plan. "Plan of the Magic Kingdom." I study the layout of the park and look for the You Are Here sign. The tunnels start from Cinderella's Castle like the spokes of a wheel and go under almost all the main attractions. Finally, the layout recalls the face of a clock. The border is at nine. The Land of Adventure is at seven. To make things even easier, each zone is color coded. The Land of Tomorrow is blue, the Land of Fantasy is purple. We are on Main Street —dark purple— which corresponds to the strip of the same color that runs along the wall. Six o'clock position. Tinker Bell Treasures are at twelve. We have gone half a clock.
I told you we were walking in circles," Gillian says.
"And look what we have at the end of the hall…" Charlie adds. She points her finger towards the top of the plane. The letters practically jump off the wall and bite into my throat. DACS.
Right in front of us.