I was dead wrong.
I thought I had forgotten the feeling but once more it had been stirred. All it took was to once again see him, to know he still exists. This time, closer than I'd ever seen him before.
He made me recall the past, to reminisce days when we had met, when he had saved me and, in a somewhat expected manner, rekindled the admiration I thought to have died out.
Turns out it was still very much alive and kicking. Dampened only by the lack of his presence but still there nonetheless...
The proceeding days had become busy at the Academy, with the Captain and a few of his Rogue Bullets staying over for the Migration, taking up residence at the Guest Houses, his Palace of a home just off-limits to us mere mortals.
They were here to provide assistance to the Monster Base settling the affairs regarding the Dragons, since the species could rampage at any moment, and we didn't need the damage that might result. Volatile these creatures, like gas waiting for the smallest spark, Nuker warned everyone.
Though besides that, something else seemed to be slowly igniting in the background. A competition of sorts that irritated me more than anything. A competition as to who can garner the Captain's attention.
Chalice Averque was a very dashing being. Pledged to be the King's Trinity, skilled and no less astonishing in his many conquests, he seemed to effortlessly draw the interest of most if not all the students in the Academy, excited glances turned his way whenever he was on the move, his equally intimidating Rogue Bullets at his heels.
Women seem to flock to him, males alike who were similarly intrigued and piqued by his stature. And whenever he was steel training, his sculpt of muscles exposed under the early sunrise of the day, sweating as he did a few laps around the yard, he always gathered this waiting crowd of people Shantee now dubbed as ants because they trailed him everywhere.
That always puts a frown on my face. Captain had so many admirers. It became clear I was not the only one.
Some of them were even bolder than I could ever be. I would rather just keep my feelings towards him in the closet.
"What should we do with these?"
One day we were made to clean out the Private mailbox of Nuker's office which, sometime a week after the Captain had arrived, got choked with letters and small tokens for our Trinity Head.
Obvious confessions, an exasperating number of them, which our Boss instructed us to toss.
"Captain don' need all that crap. And they're clutterin' my junk," Nuker growled, equally annoyed of them.
August asked to keep all the chocolates so we could snack on them later while Shantee was spying around the other gifts, thinking them a waste to throw away so she too kept a few.
I didn't find any use for them. At the back of my mind, I was more than happy to burn all these letters, torch all these boxes and rip all these stuffed animals. I was acting like all of it had been infringing on something.
But what?
At certain nights I tossed in bed, trying to suppress this ache in my chest. Reality was, I had no right. I had not the claim to overreact to the current progress of things yet I was admitting, but only to myself, how jealous I had become, perturbed with myself for harboring such feelings.
Shan and August had been asking me what was wrong. I could not tell them anything, I knew. I could only let this feeling brew.
---
There was an uproar that morning, but with myself out of it after yet another sleepless night, I was walking through the grounds like I was drugged, nonchalant that even as a dragon screeched overhead, everyone else panicking or ducking, I had stayed drifting.
I had not even noticed the other students calling my name in warning, up until it happened. I hit a wall.
But it turned out not to be a wall at all as, when I looked up, I was met by that mesmerizing set of gem-coloured eyes. I gaped. I stammered, falling on my butt in a delayed reaction, startled. As he lent me a hand, pulling me up and onto my feet, I stumbled into his stronger arms.
"You all right?"
Oh the gods! It was the Captain! I had not watched where I was going!
"Hey, can you hear me?"
I admittedly had to wretch my gaze off him and put some distance, staggering back and waving off his further assistance as I tried desperately to hide the sudden inflection of heat that rose to my face.
I had to catch my breath, trying desperately to still my beating heart, noticing the usual crowds appearing, not wanting to make an embarrassment of myself. I also didn't want to be obvious.
"I-I'm fine Captain," was that even my voice? Or did I sound strung, excited maybe? 'Makia calm down!' If I could have smacked myself awake.
It took all my effort to look back up at him. My heart was still drumming, here and there. "I'm so sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going."
He paused for the longest time, then smiled at me, that simple, miraculous gesture that lightened his expression even more. Amazing. He was even more gorgeous in this light.
"Makia right?" I was surprised he knew my name. "We met at Nuke's office." How could I forget? It was one of the most impressionable moments for me, an enlightenment.
Though I had this urge to suddenly tell him when we had actually met the first time. I took reign of that too. For now I could only nod.
"You have my thanks for giving the Gun Unit that grade A scrub. I was surprised you managed to make it function. Nuker told me that he supposedly gave you a dud."
Trust the boss to do that, and I wanted to roll my blue eyes at the revelation. Almost did, if not for the fact I was in such a circumstance.
"Oh that," I gave this awkward chuckle, scratching at my head just as awkwardly. The man sure can look into you. "It was no biggie Captain."
"But it is of importance to me. I will be giving that unit to someone you see," that was what he said. Only then did I understand. So that was what it was for? A gift?
"Speaking of which, I have yet to test fire it myself. Perhaps you can lead me to the range so I can do just that?"
I seemed to not have heard him at first. Rather my heart beat too fast and too loudly again that it prevented me from thinking straight.
Did he just invite me to actually do something?
"Really?" I blurted out almost immediately and on such a casual note that I felt kind of embarrassed. Did he notice?
Yet instead of that, to my further surprise, he not only laughed so wholeheartedly, he had begun to pursue the conversation, myself not quite able to believe that we were having this talk, our Trinity Head exchanging more than a few words with me.
"Since my Rogues are preoccupied with a wayward Appalea in the fringes of the territory, and I can't find Nuker, I don't see why not.
"I'm not disturbing you or anything, am I? You may be busy perhaps with your lessons?"
"Oh no Sir! I will accompany you!" Did I sound a bit too enthusiastic? Perhaps desperate? I didn't want to lose this chance. I wanted to get closer to him. "I ain't got anything on my schedule today."
I kind of lied. I had chores. But compared to that, this might only come once.
A once-in-a-Realms-Luna kind of chance that I wasn't intending to waste. My hype was real.