*Click*

*Thump!*

With a strong thud, Ryu closed the door to his house. His dark hair was jumbled, his black eyes were gloomy, and he looked visibly drained. He let out a soft sigh and ran a hand through his hair.

"Fuck… just kill me already." He muttered under his breath, "Six months, seriously?"

He wanted to just drop dead right here and right now. He just came back from the hospital where his mother was, and he felt like shit. Quickly, he went to the kitchen, and made himself a bowl of cereal.

However, when he sat down- he couldn't eat. No, rather, he was too restless to eat. He felt hungry, but his mind kept wandering to somewhere else.

He fidgeted, his spoon moving from hand to hand, and he sometimes tapped the table with it— as strange as it was.

"Six months…" he muttered, as his eyes were glued to the cereal.

*Tap*

"Six months…"

*Tap Tap*

The only sound that emanated from the kitchen was the tapping of the spoon, and the constant muttering of 'Six months…'

It lasted quite a while to the point that the cereal turned soggy, and Ryu felt his mouth becoming dry. Even then, he didn't stop. It was as if he was in another world. He wanted to eat so that he could distract himself, but obviously, that didn't go as planned.

*Bzzzt!*

*Ding!*

After a few minutes, Ryu snapped out of his trance as he felt the buzzing sound of his phone. Noticing the cereal had turned soggy, he sighed and put the spoon inside of it. Then, he brought out his phone, wondering what the buzzing could be about.

Ryu immediately narrowed his eyes, and gritted his teeth subconsciously when he saw the notification— It was a message. Who would ever message him? He didn't have any friends, and most people even forgot he existed in class.

"Jin ho-eun…"

Of course, who else would message him aside from this guy? Ryu's grip on the phone strengthened, and he thought he would throw the phone any moment now.

—Jin Ho-Eun: "Oi! Where the fuck are you?!"

—Jin Ho-Eun: "Do you want to die, eh?! I told you to come by the stairs!"

—Jin Ho-Eun: "Quickly get here. I'll let this one slide for now and won't bash your head in this time."

*Bang*

*Crack!*

And sure enough, that thought came into reality as Ryu threw the phone, full force, onto the ground.

"This fucking bastard!" Ryu exploded, and began to continuously stomp the phone, breaking it even further. He felt like he would go insane any moment.

First, the doctor told him his mother only had six months to live, and now, there was this asshole trying to take his money away and beat him up?! He really wanted to kill both the doctor and Ho-eun.

Finally, he kicked the phone away, causing it to finally break into many pieces. He didn't care anymore— He didn't care about Ho-eun, or what he would do. His constant fear of him had now turned into hatred.

'Why,' he thought, 'Just why?' Why was his life so miserable? Why was he constantly picked on by Jin Ho-Eun and his classmates? Why did anyone who look at him have an expression of disgust, as if he was an anomaly? Why was everything so miserable? Why was he no longer having fun with anything? Why did everything feel so dull? Why… did his mother get sick?

-

These thoughts went on for a while, and he had no answers for them. With another sigh, he quickly went upstairs, the cereal still untouched.

*THUD!*

He closed the door with a strong thud, and finally collapsed on the bed the moment he reached it. He was tired— tired of the constant bullying, of the constant loneliness, of his mother's sickness, of everything. His thoughts were in a disarray, he felt hatred, anger, rage, and sadness.

His eyes slowly turned towards his wrists, and he cringed at the sight of them, of those disgusting scars.

'Perhaps it's time,' he thought, his eyes still glued to his wrist. Despite his rage, a few tears dripped from his eyes. He hated everything about this world. He wasn't attractive, smart, or sociable. Despite how much his mother praised him, he knew that other people didn't feel the same. A mother sees her child with different lens, after all.

He didn't move for a while, and many thoughts began to form in his mind.

'Should I do it?'

'It's scary, isn't it?'

'No— What else am I supposed to do?'

'But— What would mother think?'

'Won't this just give her a heart attack?'

'I can't be selfish— she'll feel horrible.'

'But, if I do it, should I kill Ho-eun?'

His thoughts kept on for a while, spiraling endlessly. He even had thoughts about killing Ho-eun, but those were quickly discarded. He didn't want to be remembered as a murderer.

'But— who will even remember me if I died?'

'Then again, is it better to be remembered as a murderer, or to not be remembered at all?'

'Will they even mourn for me?'

'They probably wouldn't.'

'No, wait, they will. They will act for a day, at least, and then go on with their lives. After all, they have to show some basic decency.'

'Right?'

'But, is fake mourning any use? Should I be grateful that they are at least pretending?'

Despite all these thoughts, Ryu didn't move an inch. His eyes stayed glued to his wrist, and the only sound in the room was his soft breathing.

Finally, after almost an hour, Ryu stood up. His eyes were gloomy like always, and he slowly glanced at the clock.

'By the time I'm there, almost everyone should be in class.'

With one final sigh, he opened the door of his room.

'I'm going to do it.'

That was his final thought, before closing the door behind him.

— — — — —

*Tap*

*Tap*

*Tap*

It was quiet in the hall, really quiet. Ryu could barely hear the sound of the teacher's lectures from here, despite the classrooms being close to him. The tapping sound his footsteps made almost dwarfed it.

There was no one in the hall, he couldn't see a single soul. Despite that, he felt oddly relaxed. He always remembered this hallway being noisy, filled to the brim with all kinds of students.

He would occasionally glance at the classes from the windows as he walked, and all of them bore one expression: boredom. Eventually, his eyes laid upon a particular student.

Short, blond hair, with eyes that shone crystal blue in color. Relatively tall, half a head taller than Ryu, and he was athletic in shape.

'Jin Ho-Eun.'

Years. Years of torture and constant bullying. This guy was the source of it, and he made sure to make Ryu's life as miserable as possible. After all, what would a timid, quiet boy with no friends do? It seemed like the perfect money source for Ho-Eun.

Ryu felt his anger boiling, but he quickly discarded it. He really wanted to just barge into the classroom, and just smash that face. But he didn't. Because one, he'd probably be stopped beforehand, and two, he probably wouldn't be able to land a punch on Ho-Eun.

Ryu gritted his teeth, and with some effort, he continued walking.

*Tap*

"…?"

Ryu suddenly stopped just as he reached the stairs. He heard the footsteps from below— someone was coming. And just a moment later, someone did indeed appear.

Beautiful, long brown hair, eyes of similar color, and a face that could make anyone fall head over heels for them. It was his classmate, Seol Young-Mi.

Despite her innocent face and beautiful body, Ryu felt disgusted by her. She was almost always with Ho-Eun and even laughed at Ryu behind his back. She knew of the bullying, and yet, she didn't care one bit. Rather, she found it amusing.

"Hmm~? Oh, Ryu?" Her voice was soothing. "What are you doing here? No, forget that, where have you been? Ho-Eun has been looking for you everywhere!"

Ryu brought up his best smile, and calmly answered, "Something urgent happened, and I couldn't come in the morning." There was not a hint of anger in his voice.

"Oh, is that so? What was it? Did you get into an accident?"

Ryu inwardly tsked. "Don't worry," He said, "It was not as big of a problem as I thought."

"Hmm~ Okay. Still, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in class?"

"Ah, no. Ho-Eun is waiting for me on the rooftop."

"Whaaaat~? Is he still skipping class? Ugh, he'll get expelled from school at this rate!"

Ryu calmly nodded. He hated her with all of his heart, just like he hated Ho-Eun. No— he hated her even more. After all, she was the one who spread the news about Ryu's mother being sick. It was his fault, partially, for thinking she'd keep the secret. She talked to him quite a bit before, and he thought of her as a friend. Clearly, that wasn't the case.

"Well, I should be getting to class now. Oh, before I go, how is your mother doing? Is she doing fine?"

With another nod, and a soft smile, Ryu said; "Yeah, she's been doing better recently. Thanks for asking."

"Goooood~ That's good to hear. Well, I'll go now. Be seeing ya!"

She waved goodbye as she walked to her class. Ryu, of course, waved back.

"Goodbye"

'I hope you rot.'

And like that, she was gone. Seeing her leaving, Ryu tried to ignore the ugly, sour feeling that brewed in his stomach. He wanted to at least do something— but he decided not to. In the end, he decided that being remembered at the very least as a person who did no wrongs and being eventually forgotten was better than being remembered as an asshole who hit a girl.

Ryu glanced at the stairs leading to the rooftop, and with one final sigh, he continued.

— — — — —

"Shit." Ryu cursed under his breath as he stared down. This height was no joke. Jumping right now would definitely lead him to being paste.

He didn't think it would be this scary, but Ryu shook his head to remove these thoughts. He was going to do it, right here and now.

'Just— let's not look down.' He thought as he closed his eyes. He wanted to have an inner monologue— perhaps some memories would flow back to him, causing him to tear up— but alas, only one thing appeared. His mother.

He recalled his mother's face, her smile whenever Ryu visited, and how she could barely speak due to her chronic illness.

Her compliments, her caring hand always caressing him ever since he was a child, her kissing his wounds, everything. No matter what happened, his mother was always there.

It was her he trusted the most. If given the choice, he would gladly sacrifice everything just to let her live. He wouldn't mind, really. Even if the whole world disappeared, if she was there, he'd be happy.

But alas, she wouldn't be here for long, the sickness has reached a point where she could no longer speak, and she looked like as if she was in a constant state of agony. Lately, even when he visited, she only looked outside the window, her eyes glued to it. Even when he called out to her, she didn't answer. Matter of fact, she didn't answer nor react to anyone, as if she was dead.

'She'll be sad if I do it.'

'Wouldn't it be selfish to do it?'

'It would be, right?'

'But…'

Ryu quickly shook these thoughts away and took a deep breath. He can't let himself be distracted by these thoughts. With one final look toward the ground, Ryu gulped.

"Well, it's now or never!"

And then, he jumped.

…Or, he tried to.

"…?"

Puzzled, Ryu looked down at his feet, and slowly widened his eyes.

He was shaking, trembling in fear. He kept trying to jump, but his feet didn't listen to him. He tried to let go of the fence, but his hands didn't listen, either. It was as if his body was telling him not to jump.

"C-Come on, w-what the hell?!" Even his voice was shaky, and he stuttered quite a bit. He looked down once more, and his shaking intensified as he saw how far the ground was from here.

He didn't want to admit it, but he was horrified. Despite how much he hated how things were, he was still scared of death. He didn't want to die, despite all his thoughts telling him otherwise.

He kept trying but to no avail. He knew subconsciously that these were his true thoughts and intentions— he did not want to die yet.

He still wanted to go home.

Play some games, even if they weren't that fun anymore.

Read some Xianxia and Wuxia books, and how the main character managed to overcome everything, or how they destroyed space and time by just breathing.

He still wanted to get married.

He still wanted to see the world.

He… still wanted to see his mother.

His mother, despite her current state, still needed him. He was sure of it. And him just killing himself would only make her more depressed. After a few more minutes, Ryu cursed and finally decided against jumping. With shaky hands, he climbed over the fences.

"Fuck—" He muttered just as he climbed, and right after that, his legs gave away, and he almost collapsed on the floor of the rooftop. His breathing was ragged as he panted, and sweat poured down from his face. It was a horrifying thing, really. To think he was just moments away from dying.

'Damn it, you idiot! You couldn't even do this right!' He thought he was a coward to be this scared. To think he even failed to do such a basic thing, Ryu hated himself for this. He could never do anything right, not even something as simple as this.

He closed his eyes for a few seconds, trying to regain his composure. Many thoughts swirled inside his mind, many of them contradicting each other.

Finally, Ryu slowly opened his eyes.

And yet, when he opened his eyes, he was met with an unfamiliar surrounding. He wasn't on the rooftop of his school—, for the school didn't have marble ground like this. However, what weirded him out, even more, was what was In front of him. There, just a few inches away from his face, was a floating holographic panel, similar to the video games he played. And in it, it read;

[Welcome to the Tower of Transcendentals! Due to your talent, you have been qualified for the tower!]

"What…?"

[Please get ready, the duel will shortly begin.]

It was so bizarre that the first thought that came into Ryu's mind was: '…Did I slip and die? Did I actually jump?'