What can I say, people tend to judge me wrong!
Just because I have different sense of style and fashion doesn't in any way make me a slut.
Its just my fashion sense.
And no one has the right to judge me for that.
I have to say I kind of like the attention though.
I have become used to it and its not a bad thing.
It has just made me aware of how attractive I am. I am perfect in any way imaginable.
I don't believe there is anyone out there whose better than me when it comes to looks.
It's perfectly natural to feel that way for a girl.
Even if it sounds narcissistic coming from me.
Speaking of my attractiveness which I won't mention anymore, something a little unexpected happened, but as for me I guess you can say it's no longer that unexpected to see another love letter in my locker!
I wonder? How many does this make this year again? I dunno, fifteen , sixteen or seventeen maybe. Nah, I don't care since I turned them all down.
Not to be rude and all, but none of them where particularly my type even if they are physically appealing to other low standard girls.
Recently, I seem to enjoy turning people down lately.
I seem to have developed a knack for it by the way.
I think I was born for this.
I keep asking myself, 'What's the point?'
If I have to give my honest reply about the notion of love there is only one way to describe it.
DUMB!
In two words,
IDIOTICLY DUMB!
I just can't seem to find any reason why people like to indulge in it so much.
I'm not saying it's a bad thing, no.
I'm just trying to say those type of things are just not cut out for me.
People say that when you love someone, your heart beats faster like crazy, I tried doing that but it did not work.
There is not a single person out there who makes me react like some lovesick maiden.
Makes me think that my standards are a bit too high, but I know I deserve it.
Honestly, people find their reactions cute, but I find it revolting.
I mean get a grip girl and act like a woman.
Do you even know your heart also beats faster when you see something you fear so much?
You see, that's just normal for people.
And here you see someone saying your heart beats faster when you love someone, what if I see someone I fear and it reacts the same way.
What am I doing trying to clarify my point, its not like people will ever understand me.
I have experienced it countless time when someone is trying to convey their feelings to me but ultimately, they all just fail in the end.
The way they do things makes it impossible for me to reciprocate.
The least I could do is dump them in the friend zone.
And error number one, they can't seem to look at me in the face.
Instead, their gazes seem to dart around everywhere aimlessly or their gazes seem to pierce the ground blushing nonsensically.
Men, they say 'I love you' as a pretense but in reality they're trying to say I want to fuck with you. And do you know what's more disgusting, most of them just dump you after having sex with you…
I have seen it in movies more times than I could count.
I love you?
You love me?
Are you sure you are not just attracted to my appearance?
What if you lose interest in it, what will you do next?
So disgusting. If you want to have sex with me you should just say so from the beginning instead of going roundabout with your words and actions.
But still, a guy who says that straight into a girl's face is way creepier than what a normal guy is but at least I'll have to acknowledge, you will really have the kind of balls a real man should have. And I don't hate it since it's the truth.
As for women, don't even get me started because I know we're way worse as much as I hate to admit it.
And that's when error two comes in.
The lecherous gaze.
Most of these dude out there look at you as if licking you with their eyes. I'm not contradicting what I said earlier when I said I love attention but there are some severe cases where it becomes creepy. Even for me.
And do you know what the worst part is, I can clearly see them doing it and I cannot stop it.
So should I ask, is it still love or lust, I don't know and I don't care but to me all men are the same.
I opened the letter only to find these words.
'Who does this guy think he is?'
I checked the whole letter again.
'This one has no name too huh! I sure do hope this guy isn't another bust.'
Well, what do you know, I am not the least bit amused. Why do people even shy away and not write their names on their letters. I just can't get the logic.
I just hope that this time it's my type though.
Maybe someone like Tamaki. Or maybe even Katsumi is not that bad.
"Morning Ichi." One of my friends, Inori called out to me.
I didn't reply her immediately which forced her to look what I was holding right in my hand.
"Oh, another one. You sure are a lucky girl this year, aren't you?" She said sarcastically.
"You call this lucky?" I said whilst waving the letter in my hand.
"Well at least its still a love le-…..", she trailed off as she saw what I was trying to show her.
Apparently, all girls are sensitive to these issues including me. If you are going through the job of writing a love letter at least you have to make it cute both on the outside and the inside.
But as for this so-called letter, it didn't even come in a cute envelope, it wasn't on a cute paper but instead just a normal sheet of paper, but at least the handwriting is beautiful so I'll give whoever wrote this the credit for it.
"Ichinose, have you ever thought that perhaps that might not be a love letter." she said.
"Girl, are you dumb?"
"No, think about it. It didn't come in an envelope so what if it's implying another message."
'Now that I think about it, she might be right. I feel so lame for jumping to conclusions. So much for experience.'
"Oops, sorry. I'm such a klutz, te-he~." I put a fist over my head whilst sticking my tongue at the same time trying to imitate a cute expression.
"If I was a guy, I'd have lost my mind when you did that." She said without a hint of praise, admiration or even emotion. She even sighed in exasperation.
'I hate it when you talk like that. It always works on other people though!'
"But still, I can't think of anyone who would send a letter implying something else asking to meet on the rooftop. It doesn't make any sense." I pondered for a bit.
"I know, why don't you come with me. I'm scared of going there alone."
"Since when have you ever been afraid? Don't be sarcastic."
"Aww, pretty please."
"That's none of my business. If you don't like letters being spammed at you, you should just find a contractual boyfriend." She smiled at me.
"Excuse me?"
Before she could even reply, a tall black hair, brown eyed boy hugged her from behind who has piercings which make him look like a delinquent.
"Hey darling."
"Hie, Jappy."
I still cant get over how ridiculous that sounds.
"How are you doing sweetheart?"
Japana is my best friend's boyfriend.
Still, its always a sight to see my friend behaving cutely like that in front of him. It's always a funny sight.
"I'm okay would you mind letting go of me. People are watching us."
He finally noticed me with his sharp handsome face.
"Didn't see you there."
"Hey~."
I waved at him with a pretty smile which made him stare back at me hard.
"Ichi, are you trying to seduce my boyfriend?"
He's not up to my taste, sorry!
"You jest."
To tell you the truth, I'm genuinely happy for my friend. She used to be a bit dim before she met up with me.
Now she's cheerful and it escalates every time she is with him.
Now she gets all butterflies in front of me.
Speaking of which, when they get intimate most of the time, they always do it in my presence. Just what are they trying to achieve?
Does she want me to get jealous?
"Jappy, why are you focusing on another girl when you are holding me."
"Does that make you jealous?"
"I would be lying if I said it didn't."
That's cute and all, but I still cannot understand how she acts all timid.
"Then do something which makes me look at you only."
"Are you saying I am not attractive?"
"My girl is the most attractive person who I have ever seen."
Then her face turned crimson.
Really? Just mere words?
"If you keep holding on to me, we'll be late for class."
This time finally detaching herself.
He appeared a bit disappointed as he said,
"You will have to compensate me for that."
Inori giggled and said, "I will."
Since we both learn in different classes, we parted ways as I also headed to my class.
I could feel someone else's arm trying to cuddle me as I said,
"Don't you have any shame? I'm your girlfriend's best friend."
"I don't see why that's a reason I should not hug you."
"Save those hugs for your girl and not me."
We were chatting whilst we were heading to the same class.
"I can hug any girl if I want. What can you do to stop me?"
I turned around to stare at him.
'Does he really love her as he says he does?'
"Attracted by what you see?"
"Hmm?"
"My heart has room for one more if you like."
"Forget it."
"Remember, you are always welcome to come anytime you like!"
How did Inori end up dating a delinquent?
"Ha-ha. I will if I feel like it."
We finally reached at our class as I resumed the day like I always do, chatting with everybody until lessons start and in no time, school was over.
Phew! That was tiring as always but at least its fun interacting with a lot of people.
Now! Time to meet my potential suitor.
My god, I'm so excited I don't even know how to react, even if I acted like I was disappointed in the morning.
I don't get to see this everyday but I do sure hope he is hot!
If he is an upperclassman that would be much better.
I began to ascend the steps at a rapid pace, eager to know what my future holds.
Maybe its different this time.
Or maybe…
.
.
I'll enjoy his reaction this time as I crush him.
I hope the reaction would be entertaining though.
Ahh! I cannot wait!