I woke up in my dimly lit bedroom, the soft rays of morning sunlight peeking through the curtains. Gratitude washed over me as I stretched my limbs, relieved that the horrendous ordeal was finally over. The memories of it were etched into my mind, haunting me and promising restless nights ahead. The mere thought of being alone in the dark sent shivers down my spine, a lingering sense of unease that clung to me even in the safety of my room.
That session had been the epitome of cruelty, surpassing anything I had endured before. Damon's actions baffled me - it wasn't teaching, it wasn't punishment; it was pure torture. He tried to make it look like some sort of twisted experiment, but no, it wasn't like that.
The enjoyment on his face was so damn clear all the time. We used to be so close, but now I couldn't help but question if our bond had faded. Was this the beginning of the end? Had he stopped seeing me as someone he wanted to be with?
Adam, on the other hand, was a constant source of comfort. We were doing well, which made me wonder if I was incapable of being content with just one person. Perhaps it was some universal force, preventing me from finding solace in a single relationship.
Is it true that I can't have two men in my life? What will become of Damon and me? As these thoughts swirled in my mind, I lay in bed, gazing upwards. There, I noticed Mimosa peacefully slumbering on my foot.
Sitting up slowly, I reached out and gently scooped up the slumbering wolf, pulling her closer to me. With a tender touch, I stroked her fur, letting her feel the warmth of my touch. I gave her a little dose of velvet to ensure she would stay asleep. It was a minor act of kindness, a gesture of love to help her find tranquility in her sleep. And in return, I sought solace in my way.
Enveloping myself in the softness of my wolf, I brought its muzzle towards my mouth. The familiar sensation brought back memories from my human days - a sense of security, of comfort. I bite down on that muzzle skin, feeling it in my mouth. Peace was coming to my mind.
It felt exquisite to have that muzzle in my mouth once again, like reconnecting with a part of myself that had been lost. Slowly, the weight of the experience settled in my mind, easing the turmoil within. It provided some semblance of peace, a momentary respite from the chaos.
As I savored the sensation, my mind wandered to those awful shuttles. I couldn't help but ponder the origin of such a contraption. Who could create something so intricate and yet so confining? So horrible. It must be evil medical facilities. As the morning progressed, the muzzle in my mouth gave me a sense of safety.
With renewed determination, I made it my life's mission to investigate these devices and unravel the secrets hidden within the walls of pharmaceutical companies. My journey would begin all the way from Australia. I needed some time on my own. I thought about what I should do there and what animals I should get myself.
Drifting off to sleep with the muzzle still in my mouth, a faint smile graced my lips. It was a strange comfort, but at that moment, it felt wonderful. It was the nearest thing that I could come up with to provide me any sense of safety. Nothing bad would happen if I could be Mimo's muzzle in my mouth and bite to it. Taste it.
Adam walked into Mimi's bedroom after sensing through their mating bond she was awake, at least part of the time. He had gone to make Mimi breakfast, then assembled it on a tray and carried it to Mimi. He opened the door and looked.
Mimi was asleep on her side, and Mimosa was awake beside her. Adam saw her eyes move. He sensed her pain. Mimi had once again clenched her teeth tightly in Mimosa's muzzle and fallen asleep. Adam sighed. He woke Mimi and got her teeth out of Mimosa's muzzle. Mimosa staggered up, shaking herself. Adam could still see the marks on Mimosa's muzzle.
I woke up to the sound of the door creaking open, and the aroma of breakfast wafting into the room. Adam entered, carrying a tray of food. As I watched him, I could feel the cool morning air against my skin. I gently removed my teeth from Mimosa's muzzle, the smooth texture of my pillow grazing my fingertips. Adam motioned for me to sit down, and I complied, sinking into the soft cushions of the chair. Mimosa scrambled out of the bed. My biting was clear in her muzzle, it was red and kind of irritated looking.
Amidst the quietness, Adam explained Damon's sacrifice for me, his voice filled with concern. But as he spoke, I realized I felt nothing. No pity, no anger. Just a detached sense of acceptance. It was his choice, his consequence. And strangely, I saw it as an opportunity for myself. A chance to rebuild, to heal, to become the fearless individual I once was. For me, it was a window of liberation.
"Damon will need time to recover. It's a close fight. Colin is taking care of him," Adam said, his voice carrying a hint of worry.
I responded, my voice sounding hollow, still not fully myself. "Colin is an excellent doctor. I trust him."
The words hung in the air, as if lacking the usual conviction. I knew I still had a long way to go before I could regain my normalcy.
Adam furrowed his brow, sensing my hidden intentions. His voice held a tinge of sadness as he asked, "You're planning something? What?"
I yearned for solitude, for strength. I gazed into Adam's eyes and replied, "I need to recover, to be alone with Mimosa. I need to find my strength, to rediscover who I am. You understand me too well."
There was a sigh of understanding from Adam. "Yes, I understand you. I won't even ask about what you've been through. You don't have to relive it in your mind. I'll keep you safe, nourish you. But right now, what you need is space."
His words were genuine, and yet, I couldn't escape the feeling of being a victim. Trapped within the confines of that wretched shuttle, I yearned to free myself from that haunting memory. And to do that, I needed solitude. To connect with Mimosa, to immerse myself in the beauty of Australia that had captivated me before, despite the darkness that followed. It truly was a remarkable country, a place of solace.
I nodded, my emotions still numb, unable to articulate half of my thoughts. They remained locked within my mind. I did not know how long it would take to mend myself, or what scars would be etched upon my soul. And what would become of me and Damon?
For now, I would focus on my newfound passion for horses and other animals. I kept my plans to myself, silently consuming my breakfast as Adam left the room, followed by Mimosa. I overheard him mentioning something about taking care of her bitten muzzle.
Once I finished my meal, I rose from the table, feeling a renewed determination within me.
I was 41 kilos. It's good to go from there. I worked around the house that day. I looked at stuff online. I learned a lot about horses, chickens, and animals. I knew that in my ranch; I had spaces for different animals, but I knew I must not be too greedy. I ate in the kitchen. Adam fed me. He didn't ask any questions; he just promised to take care of the fleas if I wanted to have some time and not work straight away.
Colin and Samuel came by to eat. Both of them were tired, worried still. I told them to try my blood on Damon. There was donated blood from me in several houses. I made myself packed lunch ready for my trip late in the evening when Adam and the doctors had gone to sleep. When night came, I picked up my phone, the one with Damon's number on it, and my wallet, where our pictures were.
I crept quietly into the medbay. Damon was anesthetized, pale, and breathing badly. That would be the recovery. His breathing was labored and rushing, and he had an oxygen mask. Even his lips had a bluish tint. Many bags were dripping from the infusion pumps, and my clinical eye knew just how bad he was.
I saw the bag of my blood dripping in his veins. I didn't have a clue if it would even help at all, but as I was his biological half, that was a solution that I came up with. I didn't volunteer to donate my blood because I knew my will, and it could have been that my will would have rendered my blood useless to Damon, as I was more or less pissed off with him.
Although he must have been well-medicated, he was dreaming of something. His brows were furrowed, and he tossed. I stroked his forehead. His skin was dry and burning hot. When the fever got high enough, I could tell that fever medicine was on the way. My touch seemed to calm him down, and he was less agitated.
I still felt nothing. Despite that, I left my phone and empty wallet on the nightstand. I didn't leave any money, just our pictures and a note.
It said. "Thanks for saving me. I went to recuperate. I'll be home sometime. Mimi."
Well, at least you have to say thank you. I touched Damon's hand, and he squeezed my hand weakly as if he knew I was there. I watched him for a moment longer, then walked straight to my car and drove to the airport. I had packed little of anything, as I had everything I needed on my ranch, and I could always buy some more. I had a bag with my packed sandwiches and not much more. Mimosa was very excited about our trip.
It was time to get myself back in shape, to be normal. To get over this. I knew I would never forget it, not one minute, as my memory was sometimes a curse for me; it is not good to have a supernaturally keen photographic memory with every sensation, smell, and whatnot in those memories.
But I could get over this. Move on. I was not being a victim. Pitiful creature who cried and pleaded, but no got no mercy from the torturer. I remember every dictation as they played in my mind if I let them. I knew I hadn't always understood every word at that moment, but now.
I could hear every single fucking word that he spewed, every bit, every fucking sentence of clinical jargon that came out of his mouth when he was dictating how finished I was. I remember that passion fruit, that heartbeat, and that was something that made me face the facts. That this is Damon. Not some stranger in his body. But Damon.
One flea was in the pilot, and I boarded the plane. It wasn't until we were airborne that I could mull over my feelings. But only for the flight. The ranch would be for recovery and getting myself together—no reflection on what's left of our relationship if such antics continue. I would only allow myself the time to reflect on what was left of the flight.