"So why the fuck won't you leave me alone?"
He grimaced in spite of the time and distance that separated him from the memory. It was his little sister, by all of eleven months, and it had been two years ago that he had last spoken to her. Or, more appropriately, two years since she had last spoken those words to him.
Robbie shook the memory from his head and stepped under the bar. He took three deep breaths and held the third one as he heaved upwards. He raised it off the rests and stepped back into the cage. Three plates to a side, he squatted down until his thighs were parallel to the ground, then dipped another inch. He rose smoothly, exhaling as he did so. Another breath at the top and he repeated his performance. After another four repetitions he stepped forward and reseated the bar on the rests, then slipped from under it and blew out a heavy breath.
He glanced around the gym, noting how empty it was except for the girl at the counter, a man on a treadmill, and another girl working on one of those stupid machines designed with the sole purpose of sucking in the attention of every man in the gym while a woman tries do hamstring curls. He scowled in spite of himself, wishing he could tell her how many better ways there was to work her ass and hamstrings, even without jumping into the perverted ones.
He glanced back at the girl at the counter. She had a killer body but she was off limits. Not only was she the owner's daughter, but she also had a preference for dark meat. Robbie shrugged and turned back to the power rack he was working out in. He loaded up a smaller 25-pound plate on each side and figured he would shoot for another four or five reps on his sixth set, then call it good.
Three reps later he realized his mind was not on the workout. He racked the weights and staggered out from under it, feeling lucky to be alive. After a few moments of heavy breathing to restore the energy in his legs, he unloaded the weights and headed to the locker room.
Unseen and unnoticed, the eyes of the girl doing leg curls followed him.
Robbie showered and found himself still aggravated. He lightly punched the wall of the small shower cell, wishing he could hit it harder. That would only damage the tiles and break his knuckles, hardly a productive solution. His problem was not the workout, nor was it the classes he had just finished nor the ones he was about to start. His problem was Noreen, his sister.
He was leaving later that very day for a four hour car ride home for the holidays. His father had all but begged him to come home this year, something he had managed to avoid doing last year. This time he had no excuses, the football team was not in any bowls and they were not going to be practicing.
With a sigh, Robbie turned the water off and exited the shower. He toweled off slowly, postponing the inevitable. Opening up his locker he even ignored the sound of someone walking through the locker room behind him. He could tell by the sound who it was and where they were.
"Heading home for the holidays?"
Robbie grunted, surprised. He turned and nodded. "Yeah, I guess," he said.
"Most everyone already left last night," the man from the treadmill, a professor who kept himself in shape to run a yearly marathon, said.
Robbie shrugged. "Didn't see the need to rush, going to be there a couple of weeks."
The professor chuckled. "Have a safe trip," he said, heading for a shower himself.
Robbie thanked him and dressed, grabbing his gym bag and heading out. He nodded to the girl who had moved from the leg curl machine to the crunch machine. This time he did not even bother feeling disgust at the semi-useless machine; his mind was elsewhere. The girl at the front desk waved and said goodbye as well, her tone as flirtatious as always. He had learned quickly from watching her that she just acted that way, she did not mean anything be it; she was just a hopeless flirt.
Sighing, Robbie walked through the cold morning air the mile and a half to his apartment and started throwing things into his suitcase. His roommates had already bailed for the Christmas holiday, leaving him to lock the place up and shut everything off. He triple checked everything, telling himself it was to make sure there was nothing left on. The truth was that he was procrastinating.
Finally Robbie had no more excuses. The 6' 3" junior headed down the stairs, suitcase in tow, and headed for his beat up Ford Ranger. He promised himself that when he graduated with his BS in Criminal Science one of the first things he would do would be to buy a new truck. Until then, Old Blue, as he called the powder blue six-cylinder stick shift, just kept on chugging along in spite of the miles and abuse.
Home was about half an hour north of Chicago in Wisconsin, a good 12 miles or so off of I-94. A suburb named Bristol. His parents both still worked and were only in their late forties. They enjoyed being empty nesters but, of course, missed their children as well. Especially around holidays. Guilt had been their trick to bring him home this year, although Robbie had to admit he missed them too.
What really had him bothered was Noreen. Nora and he had not parted on good terms, as much as he wished it otherwise. She hated him with a passion, and he supposed he deserved it. Out of a misplaced sense of chivalry he had done his best to avoid her to make her life better. Then again, that was his way of justifying the simple fact that he was afraid to see her. Afraid to be reminded of how much she hated him. Afraid to be hurt by it again.
He went over it in his head for the entire agonizing drive home from Ferris State University, conjuring up conversations in his head that he imagined were destined to take place. Conversations that turned into fights and fights with words harsher than bullets and knives.
She had slapped him last time, and that had stunned him and hurt him more than any spanking he had received as a child or hit he had taken playing college football since then. Then she turned and stormed out and he could only stand and watch her leave, tears running down his face in shame.
Pulling into the driveway Rob saw that his parents cars were in the garage and in the turn around another car was parked. This was a Chevy Cobalt, stained with salt from the roads but otherwise looking impressive for its relative newness. He wondered what kind of job Nora had landed to buy herself a new car.
He parked on the far side of the driveway, blocking his dad's trailblazer in the garage, and took a deep breath before he reached over and grabbed his duffel bag full of clothes. With a grunt, he lifted it up and opened his truck door, then took the first of many difficult steps towards the front door of the house.
It opened before he got there. His mom and dad, Frank and Jenny, were all smiles. Frank took his bag from him and Jenny wrapped her arms around him, gushing all sorts of happiness and praise over him. In spite of his trepidation, Robbie found himself smiling and deeply touched by the homecoming.
Inside he took off his shoes and looked around. There she was, sitting in a chair at the bar that separated the front room from the kitchen. She was wearing a red sweater with a plunging neckline that clung to her body in a way that made Rob just as uncomfortable as she had always been able to do. She was his sister still, even if she hated him. Other girls could dress like that, but not her.
He smiled at her in spite of himself, his eyes pleading for peace and forgiveness with her. She smiled back at him, her face a blank mask outside of the smile. His mom and dad pulled him in, breaking the frozen moment in time. They all but pushed him towards the kitchen and the various gourmet treats his mom had baked for he holidays; everything from cookies to pies to candies.
Robbie could not help but chuckle at the spread. His mother had always been one hell of a cook. His large frame, worked into a lean and impressive running back build, he had inherited from his father. His father's build had suffered one too many cookies though, Robbie loved to tease his dad. His dad just shrugged and grinned, he had given up the strapping young man archetype to his son years ago, he was content now to slip into middle age as a proud parent with a bit of a spare tire.
Dinner was served, with Nora and Rob sitting opposite each other just like old times, but they scarcely talked to each other the entire time. The lack of conversation was hardly missed, however, thanks to Frank and Jenny filling them in on all the latest happenings in the neighborhood, at their jobs, and with relatives on both sides.
As much as Robbie had hated to come home, and as much as the potential for awkwardness remained, Robbie found himself having a good time. Memories and a sense of the familiar flooded into him and before he knew it, he was even smiling and trying to crack jokes with Noreen. To his surprise, she played along, ribbing him right back. Robbie kept up the façade, knowing with a crushing pain in his chest that it had to be for the benefit of their parents.
Robbie had never told anyone about their falling out. From the way his mom and dad acted, apparently neither had Nora. It was there secret, something that connected and bonded them in a way that Robbie desperately wished did not exist.
As the night wore on eventually Frank and Jenny decided it was getting late and that they needed to head to bed. Robbie glanced nervously and Nora and saw her looking at him as well, her expression still mercurial. He muttered that he was pretty tired too, and was going to head for his old room. Noreen piped in to say much the same, ending the magical reunion and crushing any hopes Rob may have nursed that things had gotten better between them.
Rob woke up later that night, sensing something was amiss. He looked around his room, his eyes piercing the darkness as best they could, and saw nothing out of the ordinary. Shrugging, he found sleep would not come. He got out of bed and went down the hall to the upstairs bathroom, passing Nora's bedroom on the way. He glanced at her door, wondering if she was having trouble sleeping too, then shook his head and kept going.
In the bathroom he fished his business out of the flap in his boxers and took care of things, then glanced over as he reached down to flush the toilet. Resting on top of the dirty clothes in the hamper was a scrap of cloth that he did not immediately recognize. He reached into it and pulled it up, holding it up in the light.
Rob's cheeks burned as recognition came flooding to him. He was holding a silky red thong! It was resting on top of Nora's red sweater, adding proof that it was hers. He stared at it again, realizing it was not even a thong; thongs had more material to them than this thing did. It was a g-string! Rob threw it back in the hamper quickly, as though it burned his fingers to hold it.
What the fuck was Nora doing wearing clothing like that? She was his sister, damn it, not some slut! He stared at it again, as though if he looked long enough it would change into something else, then he closed his eyes and shook his head. He reached down to shove himself back in his boxers and discovered, to his great embarrassment, that he was hard as a telephone pole.
Frustrated beyond words, he slipped himself back inside his boxers and pinned his member against his abdomen with the waistband of his shorts. He flushed the toilet and hurried back to his bedroom, cupping one hand over the head of his cock that was poking out above his shorts as if it were trying to broadcast to the world what a pervert he was.
Back in his bed he spent a long time replaying the image in his mind of his sisters panties. He could not believe, nor understand, it! He nearly went back to confirm what he had seen twice, but stopped himself both times. Finally, in the waning hours of the morning, he fell asleep again, though his sleep was troubled with disturbing dreams of Nora running around in red panties.
The next day, hardly rested, he vowed he would confront her about her clothing. He stopped himself, remember that behavior like that had been part of what had driven them apart. Sighing in frustration, he realized he had to leave her alone. He had to let her do her own thing. She was an adult, and it was no longer his responsibility to protect his little sister. Especially if the protection would be from herself.
Nora and Jenny went shopping that day, leaving Rob and Frank to do whatever they wanted. They talked about football, of course, and went out into the heated garage to spend some time in Frank's workshop. He was working on welding up a frame to another custom dune buggy, a hobby that Frank had undertaken years ago. He sold three or four a year now, making a tidy profit off of them for a hobby. He always joked that he had so many orders that even after he retired he would be working until he was 100.
Robbie let himself be lost in conversation and then the work, as they worked on the dune buggy. It felt good to immerse himself in physical labor and trivial conversation, it spared him from the thoughts and the guilt. Of course the beer they kept drinking helped as well, lifting him from the somber mood that had threatened to overwhelm him.
Time flew past them and before either one knew it, Jenny and Nora were back from shopping, multiple bags in the back seat of Jenny's Impala. Both men jumped up to help and, after the girls sorted through a couple of bags that they did not want them seeing, were instructed on what to carry and where.
Robbie caught himself wondering what it was Nora carried in her bags. Was it more smutty underwear? He glanced down at the ones he was carrying but then looked away, embarrassed at what he was doing. He set them on the floor near the stairs to the second story and turned to head back to the garage.
"What, you're not going to carry them all the way up?" Nora asked him.
Robbie nearly jumped; he did not realize she was right behind him. He opened his mouth to reply but then shrugged. "Sorry, I didn't know," he mumbled. He was at a loss for what to do or say.
"Well make it to me," she said. "Grab 'em and follow me!"
Robbie nodded, which was unseen by his sister as she had already pushed past him and headed up the stairway ahead of him. He grabbed up the bags anew and followed her up the stairs, realizing that if her skirt had been a little shorter he could have seen what pair of slutty panties she was wearing that day.
Robbie looked away, a tortured gasp escaping his mouth. What the hell was he thinking? It was none of his business what she wanted to wear. He knew dozens, if not more, girls at college that wore things just like that... that or worse (better?). What was the big deal?
They were not his sister.
"What's wrong?" Nora asked, turning at the top of the stairs and looking down at him.
"Nothing," Robbie said quickly. "Lot of shit here, that's all."
"Some big brother you are," she chided him, teasing him.
Robbie scowled at her, which made her smile, and followed her down the hall and into her bedroom. He looked around once inside, remembering it as though he had been in it only yesterday. It had, in fact, been two years. Still, it had no changed.
"Thanks Rob," Nora said, taking the bags from him and setting them on her bed.
"Yeah, um, no problem," he said, wondering why he was such a lumbering brute. Normally he was a pretty quick guy. Witty and funny, he never had a problem holding up a conversation. Lately though things had taken a turn south for him and he felt like he was struggling to tread water.
He turned and left the room, heading back downstairs and wondering if he should grab another beer or go and try to find something else to do. He was sure some of his old friends would be in town. Of course he had not kept in touch with any of them in a few years.
"Honey, will you and Nora be okay?" Jenny, his mom, asked him when he walked into the kitchen.
"What?" Robbie asked, eyes widening fearfully. Did she know?
"Your dad and I have that Christmas party for his work to go to tonight, remember?"
"Oh, that," Robbie said, relieved. He did not remember, but it made sense. Every year they went to the Christmas party his dad's work put on, staying late and enjoying themselves. "Sure, you guys have a good time."
No sooner had the words left his mouth than he realized they were going to leave him and Nora together. Alone. He felt a chill run down his spine and his gut clenched in fear.
237 pounds and strong as an ox but he was terrified by the thought of spending the evening with a girl half his size. Even Robbie realized he was being ridiculous, but that did nothing to stem the growing anxiety he felt as his parents disappeared to get ready for their party.
When his parents came down to leave Robbie did a double take. His dead was dressed up in a suit and, he had to admit, he looked pretty damn good. For an old guy, that is. His mom, on the other hand, he nearly had to look away from. He glanced at Frank and saw him practically leering at his mother, who looked devastating in the black cocktail dress she was wearing. Robbie shook his head and heard Nora whistle appreciatively.
Jenny blushed, then tried to smack her husband when he added his own wolf whistle for affect. Robbie found himself chuckling in spite of himself. They said their good byes and made them promise not to wait up, since the parties often ran all night long. Robbie almost wondered what it was they could possibly end up doing all night at a party, but he refused to let his mind go down that path. They were his parents, after all!
Then the door shut and it was just him and Nora. He took a deep breath and turned around, knowing he had to face her sooner or later. His only problem was, she was gone. He looked around, surprised at her ability to melt away, and then shrugged. He went to the fridge and grabbed a couple of beers, then headed downstairs to the game room.
Rob was through his second heated game of nine ball when he heard Noreen coming downstairs. He glanced at the stairway just in time to see her emerge from the doorway. Earlier she had been wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, now she was wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants, both of which with dried paint stains on them. Her dark brown hair hung down around her shoulders and it was obvious she was in her comfort zone.
She placed two more beers on an end table and gestured at them before saying, "I brought some more beer."
No shit, he almost said. Instead Robbie just looked at her, a little confused. "Thanks, I'm almost out."
She shrugged and looked at the pool table. "What are you playing?"
"Nine ball, but I keep losing."
She laughed. "You're playing against yourself!"
He grinned, happy that his stupid little attempt at humor had worked. "Yeah, I suck that much."
She giggled again and let it trail off into a sigh. They looked at each other and Rob could tell Nora wanted to say more. Robbie did too, but neither one of then knew what to say or how to say it. It was maddening. Finally Robbie broke the moment by finishing off the last of his beer, then heading for one of the replacements she had brought down.
"Want a real challenge?"
Robbie spun around, nearly spilling his beer in surprise. "You play pool?"
Nora shrugged. "I'm not gonna hustle you, if you're worried."
He chuckled and shrugged, his smile betraying his feigned indifference. "Sure, grab a stick."
Nora grabbed a stick and looked down it, pretending she knew what she was doing. Robbie hurried to gather up the balls and re-rack them in the diamond shaped nine ball formation.
"You want to break?" He offered, stepping away from the table.
She shrugged again and bent over the table. Robbie noticed how, in her awkward position, she had managed to avoid the infamous "freshman 20" that most first time college students put on. He nodded absent-mindedly, proud of her self discipline, and watched her aim down her stick and taking a couple of practice shots. Finally she drew it back and sent the cue ball rocketing into the gathered balls.