I never got up the rest of the night. I hoped that Ethan made himself some dinner and wasn't waiting for me to do it. I was afraid to even face him. How could I without wanting to jump his bones? How could we ever go back to the relationship we had before now that we'd been intimate? He's right, of course, that it doesn't make sense to worry about what others would think when they'd never know about it to even think about it. That's a waste of worrying. The real worry is could we really make sure no one ever knew about it? Would Ethan accidentally say something that would make someone at least suspect we were being intimate? Would people see that we look at each other differently or act more like lovers than mother/son in public. Would it really be possible to keep this a secret?
That's what it all came down to for me. Not whether it was right or wrong. There was no question that I'd love to feel my son's hard cock in my pussy or in my ass for that matter. There's no one in this world I love more than him. Why not express that love physically. It all came down to the secrecy. Secrets always come out eventually. And this would be a big secret. It's not only illegal because it's incest; it's illegal because he's a teenager and I'm more than ten years older than him. I could end up in prison for a long time for the crime of loving my son. It would be bad for me; I can't imagine how bad it would be for him. This is no small decision.
I got up the next morning, did my bathroom duties, and then went down to the kitchen to make some breakfast and some coffee. I was still naked. As I was cooking breakfast, Ethan came down wearing some basketball shorts. By the looks of the chubby in his shorts, I was sure he wasn't wearing underwear. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. They didn't stay there long and he raised them up to cup my tits. He squeezed and played with them and then flicked and pinched my nipples. I felt myself already start to get wet. I asked him to stop while I cooked so that I didn't burn one of us. I put breakfast down on the table and we started eating.
"Ethan," I said, "I've been thinking all night and I still don't really have an answer. What I'm down to is just our ability to keep this a secret. I want nothing more than for us to be able to show our love for each other openly. To be blunt, I want nothing more than to feel your beautiful hard cock in my pussy. I want you so bad it hurts. I shouldn't, but I do. I can't deny it. So, I don't care that it's incest. I don't care you're underage. We have each other and we want each other. I can't deny that. I'm just concerned that secrets never stay a secret. I know you wouldn't intentionally tell someone, but could we really always act as a regular mother and son in public when we act as lovers in our home? Would someone see how we look at each other and not be suspicious. Could you always resist touching me when we are in public? Lovers can't seem to be able to do that. And make no mistake. If we continue with this, that's exactly what we'll be. We'll be lovers. If we do this, I will give myself to you totally. I don't love half way. I don't have confidence that we can keep this secret. If it got out, I could end up in prison. Could you stand seeing me in prison because we wanted to have sex?"
"Oh, Mom, that wouldn't happen. I wouldn't let it. I can keep it a secret and we can act as a mother and son in public. No one will know." "Ethan," I said, "that's easy to say, but like I said, all it takes are certain looks or acts of familiarity not common for a parent and child to raise suspicion. I don't know that I could still look at you as just my son rather than my lover. It could well be me that tips someone off. I just don't know how we'll prevent it. Hell, I'm not too sure that we aren't already past the point of no return. You've licked my pussy, you've cum on my tits, I've sucked your cock. We're not just a mother and son any more. How are we not going to look at each other with desire and have someone notice? I don't know what to do."
"I've only come up with one solution, but it is radical and would most certainly be a big hardship for us. That would be for me to go back to my maiden name so that our last names were different and then we move somewhere where no one knows us and we start a new life together. But I'd need to find another job and we'd have to find a place to live. We probably wouldn't be able to buy a house so we'd be in an apartment. We'd still have the issue of your age but it would solve the incest issue which freaks a lot of people out. I don't know if that's a viable solution or not. It's just the only thing I've come up with so far. No matter what, I just want you to know that I'm not putting the brakes on this because I don't want to be with you completely, because I really do. We just need to be really careful and protect ourselves or else we just have to love each other as a regular mother and son and be okay with that."
"Wow," Ethan said, "that does sound pretty radical. We'd have to uproot our whole lives. And I know how much you like your job and how long and hard you worked to be able to buy this house for us. I'd hate to have you throw that all away. I'd feel like I was being really selfish for you to make that kind of a sacrifice because I'm horny for you. You've already sacrificed so much for me over the years. I want your life to be better, not get worse again. Maybe you're right that we just can't do this. That really sucks, though, because seeing you naked and being able to touch you has been so awesome, I would hate to have to give that up."
"Let's continue to think about it, Ethan. You're my everything so I'd do anything for you; even uproot everything and start over. Until we figure it out, I'd say at least we can continue to be comfortable at home and wear as little or as much as we want when we're home alone. I enjoy being naked and I certainly don't mind you seeing me. And if you want to be naked, I'll enjoy seeing that nice cock of yours. The difficulty will be seeing each other's bodies while suppressing our desire to press them together. I think all we can do is try different things to see what works and what doesn't. I'm really not sure how long I can keep seeing your hard cock without begging you to put it inside me. It's like I want you but know I can't have you. I wish we could just do it once so we can enjoy each other, but there's no way it would only be once. It's either whenever we want or never. What a horrible choice to have to make."
We finished eating, cleaned up the kitchen and then went in the living room and turned on the TV. We sat next to each other on the couch and Ethan immediately started massaging my breasts. It felt so good I just leaned back and let him enjoy himself. Ethan leaned over and took one of my nipples in his mouth while he continued to play with the other one. I reached down with one hand and started rubbing my pussy. I spread my legs and started working on my clit while Ethan continued to work on my tits. Pretty soon, I felt his finger along side mine on my clit. He stroked down my labia and found my vagina. He circled it a couple of times and then put his finger in me. I could tell he was trying to use what I'd told him and he was searching for my g-spot. He's a quick learner and found it pretty quickly and then started rubbing it. He was sucking my breast and rubbing my g-spot while I rubbed my clit. It was all too much and I could feel my orgasm rising. I erupted in the biggest orgasm ever and, for the first time ever that I know of, I squirted. At least three big squirts of liquid came shooting out of my pussy onto the carpet and the coffee table. Ethan kept right on working my g-spot while I pressed hard on my clit and convulsed in orgasm.
Ethan finally let up and I started to come back to reality. He had already given me so much pleasure in less than 24 hours. Oh, how I wished we could make love. I'd love to feel his hard cock inside me. He was so much more to me than just my son now. I was to the point of thinking the risk was worth the reward. Could we risk it? Could we be good around each other in public so as to not arouse suspicion?