As I sit here on a bench, crossing one leg over the other near the lake, with the falling leaves around me under the shade of a tree, I gaze across to the other side of the lake where tall storey buildings reach up, as if chasing the clouds.
Lost in thought, I find myself contemplating the intricacies of life and wondering why I've been given this particular existence. I certainly think a lot about life and sometimes being dead is all I want. It's not that I truly desire death, but sometimes the weight of the world and the burdens I carry become overwhelming. Despite my average job, I face constant criticism from my boss. My mother, who may not speak to me for an entire year, and my father, who seems ready to abandon me at any moment, further contribute to my sense of isolation.
Don't get me wrong, but something happened today that made me think again for life.Actually, it didn't happen it was me who did something. A family closely tied to mine presented a marriage proposal as if my age of 32 and my single status were causes for concern. I didn't greet them the way my family wanted and probably rejected that guy on his face, It was not because I didn't like that guy, he was nice, tall, and handsome but it's something that I never even think of getting married.
As soon as I finished thinking a lot about how to not live, I allowed my eyes to journey to the surroundings. As luck would have it, he's definitely male. As I can see clearly he seems to belong to a rich family, his black suit and his shoes also with the spectacles on his nose tells everything, but I wonder why he is sitting on the road instead of all those cafe centres made for people like him or he can just sit on those empty benches, why would be someone like him sitting on the ground which is probably not suitable even for me. He appears to be on the verge of a breakdown.
I contemplate speaking up to let him know he has company, but between thinking it and actually doing it, he abruptly turns, rises from the ground, and starts walking away. I attempt to catch another glimpse of him, but just as I look back, my phone rings, interrupting the moment. It's my father on the line, bombarding me with his words, making it difficult for me to concentrate. When the call ends, I realize someone new has taken the vacant spot beside me on the bench, someone I hadn't noticed before.