It's been a few days since our chat in the bathroom, and I've notice a few things. Luna has stopped being clingy towards me, not going to hug my arms, or hold hands, and instead keeping a certain distance between us. Sure it was tough to hold back my emotions when she did such things, but seeing her stop doing that makes my heart feel like its being pinched. I need to confront her about it. I knew my feeling was right with her wanting to talk more about it, but what made her stop?
We were now in the middle of class as today was more so theory instead of practical, Luna paying closer attention to what Kendal was saying, not wanting to communicate with me, however the silver lining was that she wasn't talking to George either. If she only had a problem with me, then she would still talk with George, so seeing her distance herself from him also makes me feel like it's something that she needs to do. I don't push her on it and continue in class. The sound of the bell indicating end of class.
Kendal: "Right, good work everyone. Ellen, for tomorrow's class would you mind assisting me sparring against the rest of the students?"
Ellen: "I don't mind"
Our instructor has continued to put me in the spotlight. Tomorrow was going to be a practical test, going over what we have learnt over the past few days.
Kendal: "Good. Then with that, everyone enjoy the rest of your day"
We all sit up from our desks before walking out, but once again, the moment Luna sat up she didn't look towards me and continue to walk towards the door. My body moved on its own as I grasped her hand. Finally with that, she turned around to face me, her face a little flushed.
Ellen: "Can we talk?"
Luna: "Mmm"
She nodded before we make our way past the door, heading back to our room. I had let go of her hand by this point in case she didn't like it.
Arriving in our room, I close the door behind us, with Luna making her way to the bedroom with me following close behind. She chose to sit on my bed, as I go to sit next to her.
Ellen: "So. What's wrong?"
Luna: "What do you mean?"
Ellen: "I mean that you have been acting differently, I could see that George also knew something was up."
Luna: "I've just. Had a lot on my mind as of late. After our talk in the bathroom a few days ago"
So I was right. I figured there was something else we needed to talk about. Luna then turns her head to face me.
Luna: "What makes you uncomfortable with George talking with me?"
Her face was determined. I knew lying here would not be a good idea, but I didn't want to tell her the truth either. I have to find some kind of middle ground here.
Ellen: "I said I'd protect you remember? From sleazy gross guys."
Luna: "George isn't gross though right?"
Ellen: "I just didn't like how he flirted with you, and when you openly accepted it, made me feel like he was taking you away from me"
I wasn't lying but I also wasn't saying the whole truth, I'm hoping I can get away with this much. Suddenly I hear Luna chuckle for a moment.
Luna: "So that's what it was. You were jealous?"
Ellen: "...Yes"
Luna: "Well you're my friend first and foremost. He has only just come to know us, I was just being friendly to maybe make more friends here. I wasn't planning on dating him."
Ellen: "Ah I see. That's good"
Wait... I didn't tell her that I was worried about them dating. Why would she bring up the fact that she won't date him? Has she figured me out?
Luna: "Mhmm! You're stuck with me whether you like it or not"
Her attitude from before has come back as she clung to my arm. Oh how I missed this, a smile creeping on my face.
Ellen: "Hmm, but why won't you date him? He's pretty cute"
Luna: "He just isn't my type. Plus wasn't it you that said to stay away from those nobles? Miss Noble~"
Ellen: "I do remember saying that."
Luna: "Mhmm! And I plan to not get involved with them. Except you of course"
Once again I was put in the spotlight, only this time it was from Luna, putting me as an exception from the nobles. However I felt happy, knowing that I can be with Luna like this.
Ellen: "So. What is your type?
Luna: "Hmmm~ Someone who is stronger than me, caring, has their life in order, independent, and genuinely enjoys their time with me."
Ellen: "So~ Your brother"
Luna: "Ew haha"
Ellen: "It's true though right?"
Luna: "Yeah but not family, that doesn't count. More like someone like... you."
Someone like me? Finding a guy like me would be tricky, but I wasn't certain, as I never really talked to anyone my age besides Luna.
Ellen: "Well I'm pretty amazing, so finding a guy that's like me would be-"
My mouth suddenly got assaulted by something, cutting me off from my sentence. I realize finally what it was, but I was too shocked to move as Luna's face was in front of mine, her lips touching my own before separating. "What... just happened." My heart felt stiff, as I couldn't bring myself to say anything.
Luna: "It doesn't have to be a guy..."
What is happening. She's so close to me, and I should be happy. So why do I still feel this pain in my heart, shouldn't it be beating like crazy? Suddenly, memories flash in my mind. Memories of Kaede. My last kiss was with her, but now Luna had just taken that place, like she was trying to replace Kaede with herself. No wonder I felt strange about this...
Luna: "Sorry... I forced myself on you like that even though you still have that person in your heart."
I noticed she was starting to tear up after what she had done. I was still trying to wrap my head around the situation.
Luna: "After hearing about your life in the old world, It had me thinking for a while. And slowly I came to realize that I enjoy your company a lot. Me distancing myself from before was me testing something, and today I confirmed my feelings-"
Ellen: "Sorry! I'll stop you there. I uhh, I feel very happy to know that you feel that way about me, and I had dreams of something like this happening, but. Now that it is happening I just, I can't help but remember Kaede, making me freeze up. I... I'm not sure what to do."
Luna: "You still love her huh"
Ellen: "Yes. Always. I know she isn't here, but she is still here"
I clench at my clothing at my chest where my heart would be. I had a crush on Luna for the longest time, but after getting a kiss from her, all I can feel is pain. Even after all these years my heart still belongs to Kaede huh.
Ellen: "I like you, I really do. But I think I need some time to sort some things out. Could you wait for me?"
Luna: "I understand. Sorry again for bringing this upon you, bringing back such memories."
She was putting on a rather sad expression, I didn't like that. Leaning forward, I kiss her on the cheek, not wanting tears to start to build up in her eyes. Her face lighting up as my lips part from her soft, warm cheek
Ellen: "Don't say sorry. It made me very happy. But this is something I need to do."
Luna: "M-Mmm"
She nodded at me, seeming to be happier than how she was a few moments ago. Still, how am I going to get through this? If I could just peak at my old world to see what Kaede was up to, like if she was dating someone else or even married someone else, had kids, anything like that would give me some form of closure for me to move on. But what if she was also hurting still? Still hurting when I left her there. I couldn't just start something with Luna knowing that she is still hurting. I feel-
Ellen: "I feel stuck..."
Luna: "It's okay"
I could feel her wrapping her arms around me, bring me into one of her famous hugs again.
Luna: "Knowing that you like me as well makes me incredibly happy. Also it's not like there is any competition for me here, with everyone in our class being boys except for me~"
Ellen: "You have a point there haha"
Luna: "Still, I don't want to push you, so please. Take your time"
Ellen: "Thank you"
I wrap my arms around her as we share a long hug together, still in our uniform. How did I end up in this situation again? So Luna likes me, and I like Luna, however I still 'love' Kaede. I feel like a widow who is too scared to date someone else besides Kaede, but I know I can't let Luna wait forever. I'll try my best to sort myself out.