"—uck!" Hans cries indignantly as the blinding flames take claim of his body.
The next thing he knows is that he is lying coldly on the floor. He looks around him recognizing the apartment as his own. It is the exact same replica of his apartment excluding the mess he recently created.
"W-what is happening?"
His mind must be playing tricks on him.
"So, it must be a nightmare, huh?"
It must be the most disgusting nightmare to ever visit his dreams. "Me? Fired? Impossible! It is just a bad dream." He convinces himself of this truth. Though he is a little bit groggy, he feels that his motor functions are working just fine. Steadily, he approaches the only chair in the 12-foot squared apartment studio.
Slumping on his seat, he plays around with his phone with none of the cracks in its screen. Hans operates the phone and arrives at his wallpaper lacking his Lady Boss's presence. "Where did my beautiful lovely boss go?" Replacing the Lady Boss is a selfie of an unknown teenager.
Still, under the influence of confusion, Hans can hardly think straight. It didn't even bother him how the calendar with the poster of a famous comedian suddenly becomes an unknown female online streamer. Similarly, Hans cannot even pay attention to the various waifu posters that are suddenly missing.
"Huh? What is happening?"
Hans swipes his phone realizing in horror that the several p*rn apps he has is missing. On top of this are the similarly scandalous videos that he treasures and locks deep in his folders.
"Oh, sh*t…"
Looking around the apartment, the truth finally registers. "This is a different apartment!" He exclaims. "W~aa~WAAAHHhhh~ where are my waifus!?" He hollers with snot and tears on his face.
In his panic, Hans runs off from his apartment. His feet stomp on the stairs and rush to the gates just beside the highway. He pushes off the gates that are barely over his neck. With bare feet, he walks outside seeing the alternate 21st century for himself in all of its glory.
Instead of the taxi that runs on four wheels, there are mechanical horse carriages running on steam. If not for the eye-catching yellow stump with the word 'taxi,' Hans won't even realize that the luxurious horse carriages passing by him are actually for public transport.
Moreover, there are steel airships in the sky carrying billboards of all kinds of things. There is a famous singer yelling propaganda about the harm of fossil fuel. There is an extreme vegetarian advocating the freedom of animals.
There are also sexualized men in posters seeming to advertise all sorts of products from gym equipment, cosmetics, and even marriage contracts…
"Oh, my holy sh*t stirring godly f*ck*ng~ what have I done?"
Not needing to see more, Hans reluctantly accepts his situation that he is inside his own novel— Love and Magic— a truly out-of-the-world alternate 21st century…
Hans runs back to his apartment, opens the internet modem, and starts his laptop. The most important matter is that he remains calm. With an objective in mind, he surrenders himself to his workflow.
Searching the internet for various topics relating to his novel, Hans grows more aware of his current situation. He is exactly two years before the story starts, and while the plot of the novel is a big deal, it doesn't really concern him as he is just an extra.
Too aware of his place in this world, Hans doesn't need to think about the problems that this world will face in the future. It is not like this world doesn't have a protagonist.
With this thought in mind, Hans prioritizes investigating himself. Or at the very least, his current identity. Scattering his stuff around, he searches for anything that can be of immediate use to him. A moment later, he finds his High School ID which reads— Name: Hansen Neverine, 2nd Year Student of Holden High School. There are also his school grades which mostly consist of 70, an abysmal score that shouts failure.
Hans inferring his ID, and school grades conclude. "I am still dumb even in this parallel world." The way he delivers his conclusion sounds just as dumb. "It is not that I am bad at academics, I just don't like it." For some reason, Hans feels a sense of pride as in his past world, he at least has grades over 75 which are barely passable.
Scrutinizing his ID card's picture, Hans compares in his mind this picture and his past world's appearance. Apparently, his current self doesn't share an iota of resemblance to his past self except sharing the first name. "I don't even know if the surname Neverine even exists in my past life."
Weirdly enough, Hans doesn't find any trouble in speaking and writing. It is as if the language barrier doesn't even exist. Except for some phonetics, Hans finds hard to grasp, he is pretty much an eloquent conversationalist.
In the thread 'Where Bachelors Gather' that Hans seems to be a member for some time already is an ongoing debate as to how to win a woman's heart. There are two sides, soft and hard, or simply put— gentle or aggressive.
Hans eagerly joins the hullabaloo under the forum ID 'Simplord'.
[Simplord— Just out of curiosity, this debate is kind of pointless, I mean are you asking whether to f*ck gentle or f*uck aggressively?]
[Marry me— Where did this trash come from?]
[Pikupiku— …]
[OMG— Hey, where did the moderator go?]
[Simplord is banned from the forum.]
"…"
Hans finds the forum ID 'Simplord' too annoying anyway.
After some deliberating on how he can wisely use his time, Hans decides to sift through the information of the 'original Hans' of this world from the smallest data to the biggest files including Word documents, pictures, friends in social media, and even his internet history. "I am not definitely searching for your dirt, bro~ hehehe…" Hans addresses himself finding just the right mindset to deal with his situation.
But then again contrary to his expectations, he didn't see what he is looking for. Out of anger, he straight inputs what he is searching for to the internet search engine. This time, it doesn't surprise him anymore.
"Oh~ I have blind hopes that there might be something…"
In this alternate 21st century, p*rn doesn't exist on the 'known' internet. This is an undeniable fact. Hans should know this as he is the author of the novel this world uses as a basis.
"Ah~ I cannot really tell. Maybe it is another way around. Maybe this world is the original one, and my novel is fake! Maybe it just happens that the inspiration that comes to my head in writing the novel is due to the effects of some cosmic power…"
After a short silence, Hans rejects his theory understandably conscious of how unreliably imaginative he is.
"Screw it," Hans firmly decides to be more responsible and get his head in the game. "I should learn more of the Hans of this world…"
Reading through the many Word documents on the laptop, Hans learns that the Hans of this world is similarly a writer just like him. The problem is… Hans cannot find any sense of kinship to this world's Hans!
"What is this? Love letters? And more love letters?"
The simpness overload is too much.
Persevering through the seas of poems, essays, and short stories of flattery and romance, Hans finally comes in contact with a more useful piece of information. Moving the file to a separate folder for the sake of isolation, Hans takes to himself that he cannot be careful enough.
The Word document's 'file name' reads. "Journal of a H*rny Boy."
At this moment, Hans is speechless.
"And here I am thinking I am reading it wrong…"
Hans proceeds onward as he opens the Word document.
[Jan. 22. 2023. I j*rk*d off the calendar's…]
Hans immediately exits the Word document in utter fear of what follows. With a similar gaze of terror, he glances at the unassuming calendar that has the poster of a rather pretty gamer girl holding a Gameboy.
"Sigh… I have to persevere…"
Hans opens the Word document once more.
[Feb. 14. 2023. I want to awaken my magic. Among those who are able to awaken their magic, 99% are women, and only 1% are men. This means that among a thousand people, only ten men awaken their magic. For someone to awaken, they must receive genuine affection from someone their age during Valentine's Day while they are still 15 years old.
Before even Halloween last year, I swear to myself that I will receive the affection I so rightfully deserve. I might just be a man who is not so good at expressing his emotions, but I can do it! I believe! I sharpen my baking skills in order to cook the tastiest chocolate I can ever make. In blind hope to receive reciprocal affection, I give my chocolate to the nicest girl in my class.
I was rejected.]
"Oh man, my condolences…"