Forever is too long. I put my story in writing only a couple of months later, when I was trying to settle into life as a student at healer's school. At the time, my life seemed so very long.
Now, fifty years later, I know that I cannot love Scar forever, as my own time is fast drawing to a close, and he has already passed on.
Before I pass on, I've decided to publish my story. Let me start by quickly chronicling my life since that day that King Tirian sent me to healer's school.
I loved healer's school. I learnt so much while I was there, and I felt completely at home among the other healers. I was one of only a few girls there, but the few of us got on wonderfully and everyone treated me well.
I missed Scar greatly, and because the war deteriorated, I only saw him every few weeks, though we made up for lost time while we were together.
My inner sight rapidly lost distance as I stopped practicing, but I was able to turn an extra something to my healing arts, and I was the top student. As for acts of great power, only once more in my life was I desperate enough to perform another one, more on that later.
With the war getting worse, and going badly for us, court politics became very dangerous. One night Holly turned up in my room seeking sanctuary. She stayed with me for a month, sharing my tiny room, sleeping on the floor, and learning about healing while she could. We became friends, closer than sisters — and I gave her the other training I had promised.
One evening, nearly two years after I started at the Healer's school, a messenger came to summon me to the King. I rode madly through the night, escorted by four Black Bulls. All night, I wondered why, or even who, I was going to meet.
The war was going badly, parts of the country were in open revolt, and there had been growing whispers about the King. At dawn I was brought in to see the King. To my surprise, there was the captain, now King.
Later that day, King Tirian publicly abdicated, appointing the captain as his replacement. From that day forward, I was with the King. There was much speculation about just why the King hardly went anywhere without me. It was supposed that we were lovers. It should be clear from this story, that indeed, we had been lovers in the mountains, but at this time I was there for security, to use my inner sight for his protection.
Within a day, I was joined by Scar, and from that day we were rarely apart for more than a few hours, performing our joint role as inner guard to the King. When he stayed in the castle, we did. When he went to war, we did too.
There were many attempts on the life of the King, particularly in the first few months, even two by the Black Bulls themselves. But with the little extra warning I was able to provide, Scar was able to stop all the attacks.
One of the first things the King did was to marry Holly, in a magnificent ceremony that was remembered for many years. I was thrilled to act as one of her bridesmaids, and even more honoured when Holly acted as my bridesmaid when Scar and I were finally officially married in a private ceremony.
The only guests at our wedding were the fellow soldiers from the mountains, though we had already lost a few more, including Gong.
Although I hadn't actually finished Healer's school, I really had nothing left to learn, and they honoured me by giving me my qualification anyway. So in addition to being personal guard to the King and Queen, I was also their personal physician, and in effect court physician. It was as if all my dreams had come true.
The King gradually brought our wars under control, and peace and prosperity to our land and people. Queen Holly delivered several beautiful children to the King, and Scar and I had four wonderful children, two boys and two girls. Truly, our children have been our greatest blessing.
Shortly after the birth of our last child, an assassin made it all the way through the outer defences and threw a knife at the King. I was distracted by my children, so I warned Scar just a little too late. He was able to stop the knife, but only by putting himself in the way.
The knife had been poisoned, and I watched Scar's life ebbing in front of me. I was desperate, I had four young children, the youngest only a few weeks old, and they needed their father so much. So desperate, that I reached into his body and forced it to life again. This also, I knew, was impossible, and though I have tried many times, I have not been able to do it again.
After that attack, we finally entered a long period of peace and prosperity. The King and Queen were truly loved by the people, and at last he felt confident enough to let Scar and I leave his side a little. Each year, in spring, we would travel into the Dragon's Backbone and renew our vows on that pinnacle above the Valley of the Dead.
We were the only ones willing to go into those mountains, otherwise, as the squad had predicted, the mountains were closed. The old log cabin was still there, and each time we'd clean it up and use the bath again too.
Our children grew up knowing of our past, and as each of them came of age, we would take them into the mountains with us, and they would read my story and see it for themselves. Until now, other then Scar, only my children have read this story.
King Ulf the Great approached his eighties still fit and able. Queen Holly was still truly beautiful, though her own daughter and granddaughters had long eclipsed her, and their beauty is legendary. Both Scar and I also remained fit and healthy. We were surrounded by our children and grandchildren, and a loving nation. Truly I have been very blessed in my life.
It was one cold winter night that I saw the first sign that the long reign of the King was coming to an end. Our land's peace and great wealth had also made us many enemies, but Junior was more than capable of dealing with direct military threats. Yes, Junior became General Gaitalin. So we started to once again hear rumours of assassination attempts on the life of the King, but we had easily detected the first one.
But that cold winter night, I felt something wrong inside Scar. It was a cancer growth. I had seen many people die from these over the years, and I knew that it would kill Scar too, that we only had a few more months together.
I tried to hold it off with magic, but that failed, as I knew it would. Eventually I told him. He was sad, more for me, as I still had more time to live, but for himself he had lived longer and better than he ever expected. He had never wanted to grow old.
We told no one, and nor did anyone else find out, when I found the same thing in the King. Only the four of us knew, but the King quietly started to put his house in order. He offered us to retire somewhere, but where? We knew of no other place we would rather be, than surrounded by our family and friends.
And it was as well that we stayed. As spring came, the palace was caught up in preparations for the fiftieth jubilee of the King's coronation, and then we were looking forward to our fiftieth wedding anniversaries not long after, though I was no longer sure that Scar would live that long.
On the morning of the jubilee, I awoke with a terrible premonition, that this was the last day I would awake with Scar beside me. For the very last time, we made love and said our good byes.