Warning: Sexual Abuse
I stand tall in the ocean, only waist deep to keep my balance. The ends of my hair float on top of the glistening surface. The waves rock me back and forth.
I was hoping that Rose and Ben would join us, but they walked away together. Their absence seems to feed Dan's ego.
His eyes shine in the moonlight. Water reflects off of his bare back in a shimmer. He appears to be high on life, but I know that look. That's a wild and thirst-crazed look that can never be satisfied. There's an emptiness that he's running from. I should know.
He makes his way toward me, but a wave knocks him down. He howls, unsteadily treading for me again.
"Did you see that?" He loses his balance, laughing hysterically into my hair.
He's heavy, but the waves knocking against my back help me to stand firm.
"Yeah, that was crazy." My giggles are almost drowned out by the ocean. "I'm getting cold, can we go back to the car?"
He pinches the bridge of his nose, wiping salty water from his face. "Whatever you want." He smiles.
We wade back to the shoreline, and grab our belongings. We stride up the grainy hill until we're at his car. He pops the trunk, grabbing some t-shirts to lay down on the back seats.
He connects his phone into the aux plug, and some mellow song plays throughout the car. My heart melts when he throws one of the shirts around my shoulders.
"You're freezing." He rubs my arms to warm me up.
"Thanks."
He matches my soft smile. "You're welcome."
His gaze is direct, but I don't look away. I'm given a kiss that further warms me, and left laughing at myself when he breaks away.
His clothes cling to his skin. He reaches for his phone, opening up Snapchat.
"Noooo! No, I look terrible!"
"Just one." He ignores me, and starts recording."The beautiful Angie Becket, ladies and gentlemen!"
When the light flashes in my face, I smile for the camera. He slides an arm around me, and I'm given a kiss on the cheek before the video ends.
I know what people will think. We're both drenched, alone, and in the backseat of his car.
He pulls me in for another kiss, but I interrupt the moment.
"Can you please delete that?"
He seems confused. "Why?"
"I don't want people to misinterpret anything."
He teases. "Oh, don't start using big words on me now."
I bite my lip at his insult.
"Besides, how could they do that?" he asks.
"They might think that something more happened between us."
"Well, they wouldn't be wrong. Would they?"
"We only kissed," I say, defensively.
"We don't have to stop there."
I push his chest when he leans into me, scoffing. "My first time's not going to be in the backseat of a car. And, we're not even alone."
"Forget about them." He waves me off, moving uncomfortably closer. "Aren't we having fun?"
I'm annoyed when he kisses me again, but his hand on my face makes it impossible to pull away.
I reach for the door handle blindly. It's yanked back shut, and I'm slammed onto my back. A hand over my mouth muffles my shouts.
His eyes are different. Soulless.
He feels up my body, groaning from the pleasure that it brings him. Something catches his attention, and he smiles. "I think they're walking home."
My heart caves in. I don't want to believe him, but then he releases his hand after a few minutes, and I know that it's true.
"No one can hear you."
It's the last thing that he says before shattering my life.
*
He drives me back home, and I begin to wonder if I made it all up. Maybe I'm still asleep. Maybe Rose and I are getting along, and I'm in her room with boxes of snacks laid around us.
"Which way do I turn?" he asks over the music humming from his radio. His voice gives me chills, and I recall just moments ago.
Lifeless. He left me lifeless when he got up, taking every piece of me with him. All that's left are dreadful memories that I'll never forget, and pain from his forceful attack. My thighs are sore from the bites.
"Right." My voice is mouselike.
My tone makes him flinch. If I didn't know any better I'd say that he's battling guilt.
"I need to know that you'll stay quiet about this."
Through my fear and surprise, I find my voice. "What?"
"I can't have you ruining my family's reputation. Do you understand?" When I don't answer, his mental battle is confirmed. "I'm sorry that I was rough with you."
My stomach churns, and a sour taste fills my mouth.
"We can pay you. No number is too high, and you can do a lot with it, I'm sure."
My voice shakes, hot and laced with hate. "Money? You really are out of your mind, aren't you?"
"It's your best option. If you talk my lawyers will handle you, and they're ruthless. Besides, you've got a weak case."
"I have evidence all over me."
"And I have a video, and two witnesses that say otherwise. Who do you think they'll believe?"
He can't possibly think that my cousin would doubt me.
"Just think about my offer."
The remaining silence between us is unbearably deafening. When we pull up to my house, I jump out as fast as I can.
"Don't sweat it Angie. Your grandma can't be that upset."
I nod, dodging Ben's concerned eyes.
Behind me, I hear Dan offering him a ride back home. He hesitates, but then leaves once I put on a convincing smile.
Rose is up the steps in a haste, making it hard for me to keep up. She hasn't even looked at me. I tell myself that as soon as she does, she'll know what happened. But she never does.
I'm left alone to argue with my grandma. She assumes the worst of me, mistaking my current emotional state for being caught red handed.
I argue with her until I'm blue in the face. When she slams my door, a million things run through my mind.
No one will believe me. Everyone sees what they want about me already.
He was right.