World history is quieter than usual. Dan's at school today, I saw him in the hallway, but he must've skipped class. I'm glad that he did, because it gives me more time to face him. As far as I'm concerned, he can skip this class for the rest of the year.
Lunch is mostly me trying to track down Angie, so that we can talk until I realize that she's not here. I ask one of her friends if she saw her, and she says that she wasn't in their first period today. She skipped with Sam, no doubt. After a few bites of my lunch the bell rings, sending me off to my next class hungry and upset.
Making it through the day is hard, every class seems twice as long and boring. The highlight of school is usually gym class, but when Penny doesn't show up to the locker rooms, I get the universe's hint that today is just going to suck for me.
After dressing out, I sit on the gym floor. I wait, but it's only AJ who shows up. He's tying his clean sneakers when I call him over. He sits next to me, and I ask where Penny is.
"She said she wasn't feeling well," he says, running a pick through his hair. His curls are fluffed out in a low top fade.
I search the gym for any sign of Matt, but he's not here either.
"There must be something going around," I say, keeping my suspicions to myself.
"Why? You know someone else who's sick?"
"More like a few."
~
"Was senior skip day today?" I ask.
Parker bounces in my lap, blowing spit bubbles from his chunky face. As I wipe the drool away with his bib, Princeton decides to copy him. He's in Penny's lap, communicating with his bother via baby talk. She raises her voice over their screeches.
"Not that I know of."
"Then where was everybody?"
"Everybody?" Her head tilts curiously.
"You, Matt, Angie, some other people."
"Oh...He didn't go to school either?"
Something about her is off, but I can't put my finger on it.
"No, he must've had whatever you had."
Something like fear flashes behind her eyes. "So, then you haven't talked to Angie yet?"
I choose to look past her behavior. "No, she's been avoiding me."
I've told Penny everything about that night, and she agrees that it seems strange.
"It's whatever at this point. Anyway, what's up with you and Matt?"
She stops bouncing Princeton on her knee. "What?"
"I'm just asking why Romeo didn't help you."
"Why would you call him that? Help me with what?"
"Chill out, Pen! I don't mind helping. I'm just saying that he's usually always free for you."
"That's not true, it's not just me! He helps you too, right?"
It's like she wants me to agree with her.
"Forget it." I'm done with the weirdness. "What time does your mom get off of work?"
"In two hours."
"Sounds like we can squeeze in a movie."
She seems relieved, grabbing a handful of dvds for us to choose from. "Clue or The Outsiders?" She shakes her head before answering her own question. "Love and Basketball."
She puts the movie in without asking, but I don't mind.
It's a classic.
~
Her mom drops me off, and I'm thankful. Penny was emotional during the movie, and it was getting awkward.
New baby smell lingers on me long after I'm in the house. I change into pajamas and pile my clothes into a hamper for the wash. Our downstairs laundry is simple, a room for both machines and some folding space.
The jiggling of the back door handle unnerves me. I stand still, not knowing what to expect until I see my cousin sneaking inside. I'm relieved that it's just her, but when I get a good look I see that she's a mess.
There's a cut in the corner of her mouth, one cheek is a little puffy, and her clothes are stained with something that's pungent and red. She smells like a walking bar.
"Angie?"
I startle her, but she's clearly relieved that it's me and not grandma.
"Are you high?"
Her eyes are low, glossy, and red. If it wasn't for the smell, I'd think that she was just tired.
"Okay, you caught me." She cracks a careless smile, stumbling into the room. She catches her balance on the dryer.
"Where were you today?"
She doesn't take well to my accusatory tone. "I was out, okay? Just drop it." She presses a palm to her forehead like she's trying to get the room to stop spinning.
I tilt her chin, making her look at me. "Why won't you talk to me?"
Her face softens at my desperation. I'm sure that I wasn't able to blink the tears away fast enough.
"Come on Angie, it's me."
She pulls away, chuckling humorlessly. "I can't talk to you, okay? Because, sometimes when I see your face I-I." Her shoulders raise like she's fighting to find the words.
"You what, huh? Just tell me!" I'm angry. How could she turn this on me?!
"I wanna hate you, Rose!!" Her face is as red as the stain on her clothes. "But I can't! You left me and I can't leave you, no matter how much I want to." She sobs angrily.
"Left you? I've been following you around like a lost dog since we were kids! I finally get a life of my own, and you can't handle it." I fire it back in her face. "That's what this whole thing's really about. I have real friends and a nice boyfriend, and you're too jealous to be happy for me!"
"Jealous?" She smiles like I'm something pitiful.
"Yes! You've built your whole identity on being in the spotlight, and we let you because we knew that you saw a lot on the day of the accident. But you need to find a way to deal with it."
"Deal with it?" Her icy eyes are livid.
"You know that's not what I meant. I lost them too, Ang."
Her brows relax from an apparent realization. "You don't get it," she says, mumbling. "And I don't care to explain. My stomach hurts, and I'm going to bed."
I toss my hands at how unbelievable she's acting.
"And by the way," she says. "This is me dealing." A tear drops from her watery blue eyes before she turns her back on me.