I'm done working out. I want to be both physically fit and attractive. I drink my orange juice as I catch my breath after the strenuous activity. I'm so relieved that I reach for my phone and check my texts. It's been 2 hours since I exercised, and it's been 2 and a half hours since Joel departed with his mother to go shopping, but he hasn't texted me yet. I typed and sent a message asking him where he was.
While I wait for his message, I fix all of my materials and store them in the stockroom. I want everything to be in order. My phone sounded while I was packing my belongings. I dashed over to check what the response was, and when I saw it, it wasn't from him. My friend had asked if I wanted to play with him. I simply ignore his message because I am not in the mood to play. I'm exhausted, and I need to get things done upstairs. On my phone, I set the notification sound to Joel so that I can tell if the sound is from him or not. After I change it, I smile. "Am I obsessed with this?"
After I change it, I smile. "Am I obsessed? Is this what they call love? OMG me". I replied to myself, widening my smile.
I checked my messages again, but this time I wasn't expecting anything. Perhaps they haven't finished their errands yet. I message him that I am going to study for a bit and that I will not use my phone until I am finished because I am easily distracted. I put my phone on do not disturb mode and laid it aside after receiving the message. I used my iPad, which is likewise set to do not disturb. Because I am not excellent at studying on my iPad, I downloaded all of the power points from my class yesterday in order to take notes today. Pen and paper are still useful to me.
I opted to play a music because I was only giving a lecture. So, yeah, I like Taylor Swift's songs. I listen to it from time to time. I switch subjects after finishing one because I have a goal, and my objective today is to finish all of my lectures so that I won't be rushed on our exam day. My lecturer also serves as my reviewer. I was so preoccupied that I didn't notice the time, and when I looked out my window, it was already dusk. I take out my phone and gasp when I see how many messages there are for me. Crap!
"All right, do your best." He then stated that he explained why he was unable to message me for so long. He claims that he left his phone at home, and his mother unexpectedly went to a grocery store to shop, where there were many people waiting in line to pay the cashier. He then left me a number of texts.
"Hello, how are you?"
He messaged me again after an hour, asking, "Are you that busy that you can't reply to me or that you don't receive my messages?" He states.
"I understand you're studying; please take your time."
"I'll wait for you, okay? Just do your best; it's okay if you can't reply on time".
That was his final message to me. I responded to each of his messages right away. I feel terrible about sitting at my study table for nearly six hours. I'm not drinking anything; I'm simply studying.
"I apologize for not responding on time; my phone is on do not disturb mode; it's my thing if I'm going to study because I don't want to be easily distracted; I just need to finish all of my pending's on time; again, I apologize." At the end of my message, I said with a sorrowful face. He responded after a few seconds.
"I understand you're studying, but do you really need to put it on do not disturb mode? Am I a distraction to you?" He inquired. I'm not sure if he's mad or not.
"What? You're not, of course; as I've said, it's been my thing since then; even among my friends, I'm like this; I'm like this even before I met you." I said, plainly explaining myself.
"Are you mad or upset?" I also included.
"I am not; I simply inquired." He stated. "I know you're tired; why don't you go get some rest?" He states.
I came to a halt for a moment, then realized he was correct—I was tired and needed to relax.
"Are you sure?" I said, and he nodded.
"OK, I'll sleep for a while; my back hurts from sitting for so long." I'm sad, and we converse for a few minutes before I say good-by.
I'm lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering whether I did something wrong. Although we are only communicating via chat or messaging, it appears that his tone is different.
"Perhaps I'm just overthinking." "Get my pillow and cover my body with my soft blanket," I told myself.
I just realized that I am so tired and that I've been on my study table for a really long time. I just can't imagine that. Studying is already my hobby. You can call me weird, but it's been on my agenda since then. I don't have any talent, so I spend all my time studying. I am good at writing essays and everything else. My talent is all about academics. How I wish I had a talent outside of school.
I turned on my aircon to have a lovely sleep. I look at the time, and it's not really a good thing to sleep, but I don't mind. I'll just take a nap. I get on my phone and set an alarm. I set an alarm for 7 in the evening, before dinner.
I ask Siri to play a song. I want to listen to something before I go to sleep.
All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin'
It's early morn
The taxi's waitin'
He's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome
I could die
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go
There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go, I'll think of you
Every song I sing, I'll sing for you
When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go
Now the time has come to leave you
One more time
Let me kiss you
Then close your eyes
And I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times, I won't have to say
Kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go
But, I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go
I rose up and yawned. I glance at my watch, and it's already...
"9PM?!!!". I yelled.
I check my phone and realize I haven't set my alarm. Perhaps it's because I was dizzy earlier.
I check my messages and am relieved to see that he has no messages. I expected him to be upset because of what had transpired before.
"I'm sorry, I just woke up." I said. He isn't doing anything, but he could be.
"I'm going down the stairs to eat; I'll be right back." I also included. Before I go to bed, I put on my slippers and arrange my hair.
Nothing else exists outside. Because it's now late for dinner, I believe they've finished their meal. I walk straight to our kitchen and look for food.
I found pasta, and there is a meal, but I prefer to eat pasta. I put some on my plate and inserted it in our microwave. I want to reheat my food. While my food is in the microwave, I get a glass and pour lemonade and iced tea. It is my favorite drink at all times. I am an addict when it comes to that drink.
"Oh, it's now done". I said to myself when I heard the sound of the microwave. I know that sound clearly because I used to reheat my food all the time since I refused to have a meal with them.
I'd rather eat alone in my room or in a dark and lonely place that to eat with them. But for now, I decided to eat here on our kitchen since its already night time and they are all in their rooms, having a rest. As usual, I look for my phone stand and pick something to watch. I continued my Korean drama and started eating. This scenario, for me, is nostalgic. Why? I am eating alone with delicious food while watching lovely movies or dramas. I used to be alone and enjoy my own company, but it wasn't until I met Joel that I felt that sometimes it is okay to have someone by your side.
I just focused on watching and enjoying my time alone. After that, I washed the dishes and went back upstairs. I decided to change into may pajamas and do my skincare routine. I remembered that we still have classes tomorrow. It is already February, summer is fast approaching, and school will be over in a month or two. I sing while I am doing my skincare.
PART OF YOUR WORLD
Look at this stuff, isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl
The girl who has everything?
Look at this trove, treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Looking around here, you'd think
Sure, she's got everything
I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty
I've got who's-its and what's-its galore
You want thing-a-ma-bobs?
I've got twenty
But who cares? No big deal
I want more
I want to be where the people are
I want to see, want to see 'em dancin'
Walkin' around on those
What do you call 'em. Oh, feet
Flippin' your fins, you don't get too far
Legs are required for jumpin', dancin'
Stollin' along down the
What's that word again? Street
Up where they walk, up where they run
Up where they stay all day in the sun
Wanderin' free, wish I could be
Part of that world
Life is pretty tiring, we all know that. Before I thought being alone is the best feeling in the world but I am wrong. Having someone that will be there for you and gives you time and care at the same time is the best.