Helena was early for her therapist's appointment, taking a deep breath before entering the building. She was a little nervous but determined to be the best she could be, not just for herself but also for Arthur. She had been thinking a lot about Arthur lately and wanted to ensure she was doing the right thing by seeking help.
Taking a seat in the waiting area, she read over the brochures that were laid out on the table, trying to distract herself from the nervousness that was bubbling in her stomach.
"It helped me immensely when I was going through a rough patch, and I believe it could do wonders for you, too," Gabby gently squeezed Helena's hand for assurance.
Helena looked up, her gaze meeting Gabby's earnest expression. She knew her friend meant well, but the thought of opening up to a stranger about her breakup with Arthur and the pain of losing her Israel more than a year prior left her feeling vulnerable and exposed.
"Everything will turn out okay. I am here for you," Gabby said with a gentle smile.
"Thanks. Will you come with me to the therapist's office?" She wrapped her arms around herself, attempting to shield her heart from further pain.
"I don't think that's necessary, Ellen. How about you try to go alone, and if you need me there you can call me to join you there. Look, I understand that it's scary," Gabby said, sitting next to Helena. "But sometimes, talking to someone who doesn't know the whole story can be freeing. They'll provide an unbiased perspective and help you heal in ways you might not have considered."
Helena bit her lip, considering Gabby's words. "Maybe you're right," she conceded, taking a deep breath. "It couldn't hurt to try, right?"
"Exactly," Gabby said, squeezing her friend's hand reassuringly. "And I'll be here for you every step of the way."
Helena allowed herself a small smile, grateful for Gabby's unwavering support. It would be a long and challenging journey, but with Gabby by her side, Helena knew she could face whatever challenges lay ahead—and maybe even find happiness again.
"Alright, I'll go on my own then."
"That's the spirit, Ellen," Gabby hugged her best friend.
Gabby was the one who found the therapist in the town next to San Antonio. Gabby was supposed to bring Helena to the city to get a therapist, but she refused, afraid to accidentally meet Arthur.
After a few moments, the office door opened, and the therapist stepped out, giving Helena a warm smile.
"Helena, so nice to see you," she said, extending her hand.
"It's nice to finally meet you, Dr. Benson," Helena said, taking the doctor's hand for a handshake.
"Please follow me," the doctor said, gesturing to her office.
Helena nodded before following the older woman into her office. The walls were covered with framed certificates, awards, and diplomas. There was an array of books on the shelves and a large desk in the center of the room.
On the walls were colorful paintings and photographs of nature, reminding Helena of the world's beauty outside this office. The therapist sat on the couch, and Helena followed, sitting on the opposite couch, resting her hands in her lap.
"So, Helena, why don't we start by talking a little about yourself," the therapist said.
Helena nodded and looked down, hesitating. "Doctor Benson, honestly, I've been struggling. It's been over a year since my boyfriend, Israel's passing, and I thought I could move forward by now. But I feel like I'm still stuck in this cycle of grief and heartache."
"I understand, Helena. Losing someone we love is incredibly difficult and different for everyone. Grief has its own timeline, and there's no right or wrong way to navigate through it. Can you tell me more about how you've been feeling stuck?"
"It's not just Israel's death that's weighing on me. My relationship with Arthur, my current boyfriend, has also fallen apart. I thought he was the one who could help me heal, but instead, it feels like I'm carrying all this baggage into our relationship, and it's become too much for both of us."
"It sounds like you've been through a lot of emotional turmoil, Helena. Understandably, you may have unresolved emotions from your past relationship, making it challenging to fully invest in your current one. Have you had a chance to reflect on what is holding you back?"
"Yes, I've been doing some soul-searching and realize I've constantly compared Arthur to Israel. I'm afraid to let go of the past and fully embrace new love. I keep expecting Arthur to fill the void left by Israel, but it's not fair to him or me either."
"Recognizing that pattern is an important step, Helena. Comparisons can be natural, especially when we've had a significant loss, but it can hinder our ability to fully embrace new relationships and experiences. It's essential to let go of the past and create a new narrative for yourself."
"I want to let go, Doctor Benson. I want to move forward and find happiness again. But it feels overwhelming, and I don't know where to start."
"It's completely understandable to feel overwhelmed, Helena. Healing takes time and patience. Together, we can explore strategies to help you let go of the past, rebuild your emotional well-being, and navigate this new chapter in your life. It's important to be gentle with yourself during this process. Remember, you're not alone, and I'm here to support you every step of the way."
"Thank you, Dr. Benson. I feel like I'm stuck in this place and don't know how to escape it. I want to be able to find some sort of hope in the future and start a new chapter of my life, but I'm scared. I don't want to go through the same pain I experienced when Israel passed away."
The therapist nodded and gave Helena an understanding smile.
"I understand," she said. "It's normal to feel scared and overwhelmed when faced with a major life change. I can offer some tools and techniques to help you cope with feeling overwhelmed. Let's start with a few relaxation exercises, and then we can talk more about what you're feeling and what your goals are."
Helena nodded, grateful for the help. She felt better already.
The therapist guided her through some breathing exercises, visualization techniques, and other ways to manage her emotions. Helena tried her best to stay open and receptive to the therapist's advice. As she spoke, the therapist filled the room with calming energy, and Helena felt relief. She was starting to feel hopeful for the future.
"Thank you, Doctor Benson. I appreciate your support and guidance. I'm ready to begin this journey of healing and rediscovering myself."
"Anytime, Helena. You can call me whenever you need someone to talk to."
"Actually, about that, doctor. Can we have an online session next time? I am actually from the next town and thought of cutting the travel hustle. Would that be okay?"
"Sure. That's not a problem if you prefer that way."
"Thank you. I'll see you online next time, Dr. Benson."
Gabby was on the phone when she saw Helena walk out of the therapist's office. "Okay, that's all. She's out now. Bye."
"How was it?" Gabby asked excitedly.
"It was great, refreshing. It feels good sharing how I feel."
"See, I told you," Gabby hugged her best friend.
"Gabby, who are you talking on the phone with?"
"Oh, it was Arthur," she admitted. "I told him I wanted to talk to him when I returned to the city. Let's go," Gabby held Helena's hand on their way out of the building.
"Why are you meeting Arthur? Is it about me?"
"No. Not really. I just thought we could have a chat since we're a little close now, you know. And maybe Arthur can help me find a new job," Gabby winked.
"Oh, God, Gabby," Helena chuckled, shaking her head in disbelief. But she knew Gabby would quickly take any opportunity she could get, especially in finding a job now that she was jobless.
Deep inside, Helena had the nagging feeling of asking Gabby
how Arthur was. After Arthur called her, she hoped her phone would ring with Arthur's name blinking. But she knew it would be wrong. They are both not ready.