Ring ring ring ~
I wake up to the sound of my alarm, feeling exhausted despite having slept for eight hours. I don't have any motivation to get out of bed, but I force myself to do so anyway. As I drag myself out of bed, I feel a heavy weight on my chest, and I know that it's going to be another difficult day.
I head to the bathroom to brush my teeth and take a shower. The hot water feels nice on my skin, but it doesn't do much to improve my mood. As I get dressed, I stare at myself in the mirror and feel nothing but self-loathing. My eyes look tired, I have dark circles and my posture is weak.
I grab a protein bar on my way out of the door, not feeling hungry but knowing that I need to eat something. I walk to class, feeling numb and disconnected from the world around me. I hate the atmosphere around me so noisy so full of life so bright. As I enter the campus immediately few students turn around and stare at me, I know these are just casual and curious gazes but to me, it feels like they and observing me with great focus, hoping to find anything which would warrant them to make fun of me. As for how I know they are just some curious glances, it's because I used to be one of them, only two years ago. It all went downhill from two years ago. I try to pay attention to the lecture, but my mind keeps wandering, and I can't focus.
After class, I head back to my dorm room. I sit at my desk and stare at my computer screen, feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work I have to do. I know I should start on my assignments, but I can't bring myself to do it. Instead, I spend hours scrolling mindlessly through social media, trying to distract myself from the negative thoughts swirling in my head.
As the day wears on, I feel more and more exhausted. I don't have the energy to socialize or even leave my room. I skip dinner and spend the rest of the night lying in bed, unable to sleep but also unable to get up and do anything productive.
Two years back I also used to have a great social circle around me, people I could call friends who supported me but after that incident I was affected very badly which led to my depression which affected my studies very badly. I failed my final semester due to depression and having to do a part-time job to support myself. All my friends passed with flying colours and they all went their different ways in search of jobs and careers, I stayed in contact with them for one year but even that is gone since last year.
It's not their fault as I am also to blame for not putting in any effort from my end to keep the friendship going and at some point they also gave up on me perhaps because they found it tiresome.
Anyway just as I was starting to get consumed in my depressing thoughts, a notification bell rang on my phone. Just as I checked it was an email from Jacob, who was a friend of mine during my High school days as I read the contents it left me very confused. He was asking if I could join him and his team who were coming to my town for some archaeology bullshit my instinctive reaction was to just ignore or deny him but then my gaze fell on the last sentence which said, Aline was also in his team and it was her idea to invite me. My heart started to beat faster and all the bittersweet memories of my high-school days came flooding in.
Aline and I were in love with each other but at that time the circumstances disallowed us to further our relationship and in the end, we both got separated. Unable to contain those feelings I fought back my previous urges and agreed to join them, to which he replied positively and gave me the date of 15 January 2024 which is a month from today.
Finally, I thought maybe this adventure can get me out of my miserable life and with the anticipation of finally being able to see Aline, after which I fell asleep.
For the next month, I stayed in my dorm room and spent most of my time either researching the place we will be visiting, or doing some light exercises to get in decent shape.
What I found in my research shocked me to my core. At first, I didn't believe what I found as it was simply absurd. But upon asking Jacob he sent me some pictures which made me believe that it was real. The place we are heading is in the deep forest of Africa, near the small town where I currently live. In my research, that place is said to be a holy land, where thousands of years ago a tribe called 'Zuan' summoned gods. Gods that could make fire, lightning, storms, and many other divine powers. But these stories are considered myths, as no one ever found any evidence of the 'Zuan' tribe. But that is exactly what Jacob found, and there is a clear depiction of their summoning of gods as well as a rough estimate of where their tribe lived, in the forest.
This discovery piqued my interest, and I eagerly waited for that day to arrive.
15th January 2024.
Jacob and his team consisting of five members arrived in the town of 'Fereb', the place where I am currently living.
There were three boys including Jacob and two girls, Aline and her friend.
I was there at the station as they arrived,
Jacob looked at me as he smiled and said "Hey my buddy how have you been? It's been so long since we last met"
I smiled back and said "It's been a long time indeed and I am doing okay just busy with college and stuff"
Jacob nodded and said " Meet Kalim, Andrew, Aline and Susan"
We introduced ourselves and did some small talk while walking out of the station.
I gave them a little tour of the city and finally dropped them at a hotel as we decided to meet the next morning and discuss our plan.
Just as I was getting out of the hotel, a voice called me from behind "Hey Damian". I heard someone call me so I turned around only to see Aline come running to me.
"Hey, Aline what happened?" I asked awkwardly not knowing what to say now that it was only the two of us.
" um- I just wanted to have a chat with you," she said.
" Sure let's go grab a coffee " I replied a little nervously.
We went to a nearby cafe and sat there. I could tell, Aline was a little nervous too.
"So how have you been?" She asked to which responded with an 'okay'.
She stared at me for a few seconds and lowering her head she muttered " I heard from others what happened to you, and I am sorry for your loss"
" Don't be, I am trying to move on with my life".I replied.
"Don't worry everything will be fine and if our expedition is successful it would be really helpful."
she tried to encourage me, to which I smiled back and said " Yeah if our expedition is successful it would be great news".
We engaged in small talk for an hour laughing and remembering our high-school days, although there were plenty of awkward moments. After that, I dropped her at her hotel and just as I turned around to go back to my room Aline suddenly hugged me from behind and said in a low voice " I missed you". I was stunned at that moment, but before I could say something, she ran back to the hotel, disappearing from my sight.
I stood there in a daze for a few minutes before lightly smiling and walking back to my room. I have never felt so alive in the last few years.
Perhaps this is truly a turning point in my life.