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Re:Life in my Ideal World

🇺🇸some_Phreak
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Synopsis

Chapter 1 - Intro: Reincarnating into my Ideal World

i started that day like most others. Going to my job, doing an enjoyably dull job at a Euphrates warehouse. Dealing with other people, especially the leadership, made the easy job challenging. The initial difficulty was making the same rate as those who break the rules to artificially boost their rate and occasionally suffering a 5-day flu-like allergic reaction caused by an inconsiderate person who swims in fragrance (typically men wearing perfume and women wearing cologne).

Eventually, to escape the rate problem, i moved into the "problem-solving" role for 4-5 years. As a slow, methodical person, this eventually led me to what i would label as a vendor support position. This was stated to be a contractual position that existed to fight against the building management to support the vendor's interests. During this time, i got a minor injury on my knee caused by other employees not following the stacking policy. This informed me that AmCare (onsite medical and/or safety representatives) doesn't care about workplace injuries. i asked for a basic accommodation (a stool) to keep the weight off my knee for a few days. They refused even that and fought me every step of my attempt to report the incident. They still may not have submitted the report even after i filled it out and signed it.

Eventually, the vendor support role ended, either because Euphrates no longer cared to honor their vendor contracts or because our building decided to directly violate corporate policy. Neither of these would be surprising. Just before that change, my direct supervisor used my known refusal to break the corporate rules for my position to benefit the building as an excuse to retaliate and end my assignment to my role. This retaliation was followed by harassment since extroverts tend to take introverts trying to accommodate them as a weakness.

After that situation, leadership tried to get me fired for waiting for them to fix the piece of equipment in my assigned location. Their position was that it was my job to find my manager (whom i didn't know) to report the issue rather than the manager's job to keep track of my time and manage me. Then, my next manager ignored my requests to keep my personal life (birthdays, etc) out of work. It didn't help that corporate leadership created forced extroversion tools and required the managers to attempt to force interaction on that tool.

Not long after, the building entered the territory of religious discrimination against non-Christians. They decided to decorate the building with Christian decorations only instead of the generic religious decorations of the previous six years. When i complained about them playing Christmas music loudly during their Thanksgiving lunch celebration, they had moved their typical Christmas gifts to before the start of the shift. The problem with this is that they decided to also attempt to force anyone who tried to enter the break room (the central place to buy stuff) to participate in their Christmas celebration. This included blocking all paths into the break room except the path to get a gift. When i tried to squeeze through the blockade to buy something to drink, they also attempted to force me to shake their hands for some reason.

Then there was the addition of Christians-only decorations to places that should be inclusive, like the main break room, AmCare, and the manager's offices (not personal displays of religious belief, but promoting Christianity as the only allowable religious view). i personally didn't complain about decorations being in any place that i would be working in.

Then, i made the mistake of trying to report all these incidents to the Arab member of HR as being against the spirit of the law against religious discrimination. His opinion was that he needed to subject me to even more discrimination, to trigger me to curse, to entitle him to retaliate against me for cursing. HR agreed that the break room, AmCare, and managers at Euphrates only welcome Christians. Even trying to appeal the discrimination to the unresponsive ethics committee, and the HR Committee just confirmed that Euphrates has no interest in following the law. Apparently, discrimination is within Euphrates' employment policy.

Finally, when i got "labor shared" into the outbound department, they sent me to a two-person position where boxes and totes come flying down a ramp at you at insane speeds. When a manager pulled his associate, i was left alone to endure the onslaught of boxes and totes. This led to boxes and totes surrounding me and flying at me until i couldn't dodge the last 5 boxes flying down the ramp. Each box weighs between 20-45 lbs. After they hit me, i wasn't welcome in AmCare, so i limped, bleeding all the way through the inside security gates. Calling for an ambulance, but unable to make it outside the outer security barrier for them to pick me up before i passed out and....died?

Ugh, i was never fond of all-white backgrounds. By the way, how did i get here? Did i have a heart attack after the boxes flew off the conveyor on me? Well, that's not surprising since my dad died of a heart attack, too, and at least i managed to keep my promise not to commit suicide. My family would also get a decent payout from me dying a wrongful death at work, so that's a pretty good way to go. Now what?

i'm a little disappointed that death doesn't seem to be the "eternal rest" that i wanted. So what religion was right then?

A female voice announced, "You were right. All religions are equally valid. You chose to mostly follow me as your goddess. I'm happy to have provided you guidance and comfort in your life's initial attempt."

i responded, "Where are you? Which name do you prefer, and what do you mean by the initial attempt? Do i have to relive all that misery again?"

She replied, "This is not your final stop, so I will not greet you in person. I have had many names and attributes attached to my history. You can continue to label me as Ishtar, Inanna, or any other goddess's name. I will understand your thoughts and feelings beyond the name applied. Yes, you will have to experience the same life again, but it will not be as harsh as the first attempt. The world will be modified to be more gentle to your moral and ethical balance.

The people and issues will not change independently, but the broader view will change. We can also give you some cheats, like the isekai novels you love reading. Think of this experience as more like a palate cleanser to free you from your regrets in this life, to help you transition into the next world without the weights you carry now. So please request your starting modifications to the world and which cheats you need to turn your previous life into a regret-free and enjoyable experience."

i thought for a while and answered, "The thing i struggled with the most was Eisenhower's changes to the separation of Church and State. First, i would need those changes to be removed and not allow the Religious Wrong to gain power from the Reagan administration to take over the Republican party.

Second, i would also like the common infinite-powered invisible cell phone cheat until cell phones are standard enough to hide it. Of course, it also needs access to the information of our current internet for me to use and abuse.

Third, i would like to pair the cell phone cheat with the governmental bodies and businesses with publicly available email addresses. i will use my knowledge of the future to amass wealth and influence policies in my preferred direction.

If we're trying to make this a world that is pleasurable and fun for me, we can also lean more into sexual freedoms. What would i need to be entirely sexually uninhibited? Immunity to STDs is the most important. Pregnancy control is probably needed too, but since i'm not fond of babies, that should be the woman's choice if she wants to raise my child alone with my financial support. Reflecting on the border between adult and child, there were too many missed opportunities to express more love and affection that i had to avoid contact with due to a small age gap."

She was silent for a while and then finally responded. "That last request was questionable. I will allow it so you can get it out of your system. Make sure that you do not let the age creep lean into attempting sexual contact with even younger ages. If you go into grooming behaviors or creep into the intentional non-consent route. Then i will annihilate your body and place you in a state of constant boredom that you would consider your personal hell. I will monitor your experience to see if more adjustments are needed."

i voiced further objections, "That brings up issues with my original sex life. Am i supposed to avoid all the sex that i had before i was 18, as well as the fact that a man's best sexual and relationship opportunities tend to be before they're 18 or in their 40's?. There's also the issue that in my original life, most girls start being sexually active in middle or high school."

My goddess gave a frustrated sigh and replied, "We'll make months twice as long so that when you start having sex, it will be legal in your original world. I still expect you to adhere to the requested change regarding the statutory age gap. Don't make me send you to the blank space you would classify as purgatory."

My final questions were to clarify the impacts of changing the time. With months being twice as long, there are now roughly 60 days per month. Leap year is now every 2nd year. Pregnancies are still nine months (540 days), but the fetuses develop slower and are more resistant to trauma. Girls will be six and a half months pregnant (390 days) before showing for the final two and a half months (150 days). Schools and work will have more days, but they will also be more flexible with days off (holidays and excused/paid time off).

With the value of money changing, monthly bills will remain the same. The extra days per month have led to increased disposable income and a higher quality of life for all. This leads to most consumer goods selling better in this life. This, in turn, supplies governments with more taxable income and keeps more projects on time by abusing the number of days per month.