Kazuya took his sweet time in the bath and even more time just looking around the kitchen. He had to prepare breakfast for five — himself, Momo, Rukia, Yoruichi, and an unwelcome visitor. It was as good a time as any to make Soi Fon warm up to him.
As Kazuya began chopping vegetables, a chill went down his spine, prompting him to take a quick glance over his shoulder. There, in the dark hallway, a pair of glowing blue eyes stalked him. Focusing, he made out a familiar face. Pale blonde locks fell across her face, framing her beautiful pair of blue eyes.
"Nami, what are you doing?"
The woman was none other than his Zanpakutō Spirit Izanami. Her physical form, the katana, rested in the bedroom. She had returned to her katana and then manifested physically to stalk him from the shadows.
Nami emerged from her hiding spot and walked into the light. "It was an experiment. I tried to step into the shoes of a stereotypical stalker yandere."
She had become too obsessed with the topic of yandere, which may or may not be good for his future. Tsubasa's presence at least assured him about the safety of himself and those close to him.
"So, what did you learn from this experiment?"
"My hunch turned out to be correct. It's boring to be here when I could just be over there and flirt with you like a normal lover, or," she said, pointing at him with a grin. "Or I could stalk you from inside your head."
"I don't mind either, to be honest," he said with a shrug. "I'm busy right now. Please don't disturb me."
Nami tip-toed to his side and silently observed him, intentionally or unintentionally playing into her yandere fantasy. "You're making ramen for breakfast. Want my help?"
"No, you're probably worse at this than me."
He could rely on his dexterity and sharp memory to whip up something edible. The same couldn't be said about Nami, who hardly manifested these days.
"You are right," Nami said, leaning against the countertop. "It's my first time seeing you in the kitchen. What got you in the mood?"
"I can't exactly leave until Soi Fon does. Besides, there isn't anyone who can do this."
His today's schedule only had one thing — trying not to die at Unohana's hands. He could delay his training to make sure Soi Fon didn't start fighting in his house. After all, she wasn't in her best mental state right now. Yoruichi's recent streak of blurting hurtful things might just trigger Soi Fon into whipping out her Shikai.
Nami threw a glance behind her. "About that… I don't think Soi Fon will leave anytime soon."
"I'm gonna throw her out after breakfast."
"As expected of my beloved, you love violence," she whispered, leaning closer to him. "When Little Tsu and I are separated, I want you to violently fuck until I pass out."
He gave her a blank stare. "Why stop at passing out?"
His zero-hesitation reply made her grin, stupidly so. He shook his head and concentrated on cooking the first—best breakfast of his life.
"Make some for me too, Beloved."
"Sure."
…
"My Shunpo has reached another level of mastery. You'll not be able to compete with me, Yoruichi-sama."
"Is that so?"
"I'll show you tomorrow."
Interrupting Soi and Yoruichi's conversation, Kazuya slid open the doorway to the living room and placed two bowls on the low table between them.
They stopped their conversation and stared at him, as though waiting for his permission.
"What are you waiting for? Dig in."
Yoruichi's golden eyes gleamed as she placed her paws on the table and licked the milk from her bowl. "It's lukewarm. I like it."
Soi Fon changed her staring target to the bowl. He had served her a bowl full of ramen noodles topped by boiled egg, veggies, and fragrant seasoning. Probably some of the best ramen he ever had; the statement was backed up by Nami.
He gently hit the back of Soi Fon's head. "Stop daydreaming."
She shot him a piercing glare before taking up the bowl and chopsticks. She skeptically brought the noodles to her lips and slurped them down. Her eyes widened in surprise as the flavors melted in her mouth.
She closed her eyes, relishing the flavor.
Yoruichi gave him a side-eyed glance. "You'll be in charge of breakfast from now on."
She loved milk but only in her cat form. She would need normal food to function properly in her normal form, partially for her own freedom and partially to tease him. Her life just wasn't the same without teasing someone.
"No," Kazuya replied without hesitation.
"Okay, we'll split the duty. Four days on you. Three days on me."
"No."
His firm rejection left her at a loss for words. She put the bowl on the side and faced him, her golden eyes gazed at him with an earnestness one wouldn't expect from her. "What ratio do you want?"
He raised four fingers, making her scowl in disgust. With a flick of her paw, she exposed her sharp claws, yet he remained steadfast in the face of her threatening gesture.
He was like a boulder.
Soi Fon slurped ramen in the background, barely paying any attention to the ongoing clash.
The long clash of willpower and determination ended with Yoruichi looking away. "Got it. But you better help me do the dishes or I'll poison us both."
"Hah. Why poison both of us?"
"Someone has to accompany you down to Hell," Yoruichi said, and her eyes gleamed with wisdom. "The poisoning idea seems good to monopolize you. I'll need to consult Unohana for a poison that could affect you."
{Partner, stop her. She is surpassing your yandere level.}
Kazuya cleared his throat. "Yor, my sweetheart. I have a better deal. We'll help each other every day. It'll be more fun that way."
Yoruichi thought for a moment before nodding at his suggestion. "As long as you behave and act like a good kiddo."
"I'll try to. No promises, though."
Soi Fon suddenly slammed her empty bowl on the table and dashed outside the door.
Yoruichi and Kazuya shared a confused glance, wondering what happened for Soi Fon to leave in such a hurry.
{Didn't even thank you for the wonderful ramen. Truly fatherless behavior.}
Kazuya looked at the door, sensing Soi Fon's Reiatsu heading rapidly in one direction. "Did she dine and dash out of a friend's home?"
"Forget about her. Look at me," Yoruichi said, getting his attention all on her. "Soi Fon told me some things."
"About your battle?"
"Yeah. She couldn't win against the final boss."
He smirked. "Of course. Before you ask, I forgive you for hiding it from me."
"I never asked for it," she said with a scowl. "She said you'll observe the battle tomorrow."
"Yep. Someone has to make sure nobody cheats, and the battle is as fair as possible."
"I won't. I can't guarantee Soi Fon wouldn't try something despicable after I kick her face flat. She can't win. It's just not possible."
"Cocky."
She licked the back of her paw. "It's called confidence. You'll experience it when you excel in a certain skill."
"I'm confident in a few things," he said with a whistle. "One of them is making you limp with my fingers."
She unconsciously raised her paw in objection, only to put it down a second later. Turning her back against him, she began to lick the milk in her bowl. She had accepted that there was no room for a comeback. It was a losing battle; any attempt to fight back would only bring her embarrassment.
Raising the white flag was the best option.
Kazuya chuckled and scratched her head. "Good kitty."
She clicked her tongue. "Go away."
"Alright, sheesh. No need to be so mad."
"Hmph."
***
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