Chapter 10 – Florida Man Angers Vegan Neighbor by Growing Plant
SIZZLE
Fishy salty odor mixed with the scent of fresh meat.
Leo flipped a piece of dire wolf meat on the black BBQ grill, which he had purchased from the Online Shopping Store. Five more steak-cut were also placed on the same iron bars, letting off a nice smell from the black charcoal below.
No BBQ party was without a good cold beer. Leo sacrificed 20 years of his lifespan to purchase a gallon of beer and an ice machine. He made a bucket's worth of ice cubes and cooled the beer jar while he was busy with the grill.
Leo checked the shopping menu for some fresh vegetables and seasoning ingredients. However, the price tag intimidated him.
[Lettuce (1pc)] – 1,000 Years of Lifespan
[Spinach (1pc)] – 1,000 Years of Lifespan
[Cabbage (1pc)] – 1,000 Years of Lifespan
[Carrot (1pc)] – 1,000 Years of Lifespan
[Bell Pepper (1pc)] – 1,000 Years of Lifespan
Aside from alcohol, food-related items cost a lot. Beef and pork were worse as the shop demanded 5,000 years of lifespan per pound. Even a package of processed sandwich bread cost 2,500 years.
"It was three zeros less when I was on Earth! What the hell, shopping system?!"
Leo wanted to cry but he had no tears. He pursed his lips in frustration. In the end, he chose to purchase some seasoning sauces from the shop instead. He got salt, sugar, pepper powder, and BBQ sauce.
AWOOO!
AWOOO!
While Leo was cooking, wolf howls echoed in the forest. Leo ignored them and minded his business. He put the medium-rare dog steak on a plate and sniffed at it.
It smelled like a roasted lamb. Although wolves rarely stored fat in their meat, it was juicy enough. Leo cut the steak with a knife. Then, he tested it without sauce.
Surprisingly, it tasted like salmon with a roast lamb odor.
DING
Leo widened his eyes. He only ate a mouthful of dog meat, but his lifespan increased by a year. He looked at the remaining food and estimated that each steak could grant him about 10-15 years of lifespan.
"Hot damn! I can get used to this!"
Nothing beat good food. Leo added salt and pepper to the steak and gently cut it to fit a small bite. Then, he slowly enjoyed the rare taste.
GRRRRR
While Leo stood in front of his BBQ stove and chew his food, seven dire wolves walked out of the woods and surrounded him. They bore their fangs, snarling.
Leo turned around while he carried the plate of steak. He widely grinned.
"How nice! More food just comes to me by itself. But this can be troublesome. I can't just mutate the rest of y'all, or you will rot before I can eat you."
Leo's refrigerators were full, so he had no place to store more carcasses. Moreover, mutated carcasses rot at a faster rate than regular beef or pork due to the radiation. Leo also had about 40 pounds worth of wolf meat and 20 pounds of jelly bones to work with.
Since it was impossible to eat all seven new wolves and the previous carcass, Leo operated the shopping menu, searching for a large cage for big animals.
He was not disappointed. A large cage for dogs cost only two years of lifespan. Leo picked up black grasses and shoved them in his mouth, replenishing his lifespan. Then, he bought two cages to test things out.
GROWL
One of the wolves sprinted toward Leo and opened its jaws, aiming to snap Leo's neck in half.
Leo tilted his head and dodged the mouth. He leisurely put on gloves and boots so that he wouldn't touch them. As soon as the first wolf attacked, two wolves came for his legs.
"Oh, tactical teamwork?"
Leo put down the plate and kicked one of the wolves. The right foot hit its head, which exploded on impact! Brain and flesh scattered everywhere, causing the six wolves to flinch.
He kicked the ground and instantly seized the necks of two nearby wolves.
The wolves resisted, baring their fangs at Leo. However, the old man patiently dragged the two doggies to the purchased cages. He tossed the two in one of the cages and locked it.
WARRA
Unfortunately, one of them caught Leo's left ankle. The others shifted the target to half-eaten meat on the plate.
"Ah, shit. My damn reflex. I'm getting old."
Leo sighed and looked at the wolf that bit his ankle. Its fangs were sharp and the jaws were powerful. However, they failed to go through the combination of rubber and Leo's tough skin. He grabbed the back of its neck and lifted it up before its saliva or tongue touch his skin.
SIZZLE
The fangs slowly rotted. Leo giggled and gently pulled its fang before the corrosion reached its gum. Then, he tossed it into the second cage.
When Leo turned around, the three remaining wolves backed away. They got the half-eaten steak from the plate in their mouths, and they started chewing it, mocking Leo.
Leo shook his head, "Bad dogs. Oh, well. I have three more mutated dogs to butcher. Oh, I forgot. Make it four. I accidentally killed one."
By the time Leo finished his sentences, the three wolves collapsed. They foamed their mouths, but they hadn't been mutated yet.
Leo walked toward them and checked their conditions. He found the half-eaten steak, which they had vomited.
They reminded him of the early days of the nuclear fallout period. At that time, Leo and many humans evolved into mutants as their cancer cells stopped trying to kill the hosts. They became immune to radiation and general ailments. However, they struggled with food issues as no livestock survived the ordeal.
Mutants soon hunted each other for food while Leo only ate rotten plants and poisonous mushrooms to live. He saw how a mutant died due to food poisoning after they ate fellow mutants or mutated animals.
It happened again. These wolves tried to eat a first-stage mutated animal, and they suffered the same fate as the others.
"Y'all are stupid. None of y'all mutated seven times as I did. You will probably die in a day or two because of minor radiation poisoning. I'll probably butcher you first before the cancer cells ruin the good non-mutated meat."
Leo snorted and bought three more cages and tossed the sick wolves in there. Then, he checked the carnage that they had caused.
The steak on the grill was slightly burnt. The dish was broken, and the first piece of seasoned steak was already a mush due to the wolves.
Leo calmly flipped the remaining steaks on the grill. They were slightly charred on one side, but they were still edible.
Leo rested the steak and tidied the place. He put the doggy cages at the front of the store, waiting to be butchered. As for the headless one, Leo hung it upside down next to the store to drain the blood. After the chore, Leo returned to the BBQ grill and resumed cooking.
.
20 minutes later, Leo's belly was so round, and he couldn't eat anymore. He tossed the leftover steak to the trash bin, which would be given to "Cat" along with wolf's innards, inedible rotten meat, and blood.
He went to the stream and scooped a bucket of water to clean the dish. While he was at it, he rechecked his current lifespan.
Leo profited a bit from one meal. However, he was dissatisfied.
'At this rate, it will take ages. I can only get 50-70 years per meal. It will take a long time to upgrade every fridge in the house.'
Leo deeply sighed and wished that someone would visit him to purchase the grasses again.
.
.
Wu Buyi floated in the sky, gazing at the dark blue forest east of the city.
In the Sword Saint Boulder Forest, blue trees, spirit grasses, and countless blue plants replaced the greenery. One-third of the forest glowed in blue light.
If the forest was only blue, Wu Buyi would have been overjoyed. However, at the place where the Sword Saint Boulder was located, a sinister aura of a monster stood out like a sore thumb. A thick fog covered its appearance, but the green aurora in the sky didn't hide its presence.
'Green aura belongs to sentient spirit plants or wood-type monsters. I've seen countless tree monsters and man-eating trents, but I have never seen a plant monster that produces fog. Is that the work of the rumored rogue cultivator?'
Wu Buyi got closer to the fog. As he got closer, he sensed the aura of a newly mutated sentient plant. The alchemist let out a long sigh of relief.
'Just a second-stage monster plant. It's harmless to me. A team of outer disciples can take care of that. I'll leave it to the outer disciple division.'
Believing in his strength and experience, Wu Buyi flew over the fog area. When he was above the Sword Saint Boulder, he gazed down, checking what the monster was.
Then, Wu Buyi saw the large black chomper plant on the vines around the rock. It also looked up, smiling at him.
"Meow!"
"…"
Wu Buyi paused and rubbed his eyes. He slightly shook his head to get rid of potential hallucinations. Then, he checked the monster again.
"Meow!"
It was real. Wu Buyi wasn't dreaming.
"What the hell are you?!"
"Meow!"
Although the chomper meowed like a cat, it opened its mouth like a newborn bird, asking its parent to feed it.
Wu Buyi's expression turned dark. He had the urge to uproot this monster plant and bring it back to the sect to study. However, he was afraid of offending the mysterious cultivator here.
"I'll come back and deal with you later. This place doesn't welcome a monster like you!"
"Meow?"
The chomper plant tilted its head, unable to understand the alchemist.
The old alchemist snorted and looked east. Then, he found a wooden cabin near the stream.
"That must be the one."
Wu Buyi ignored the chomper and flew toward Leo's shop.
.
"Meow?"
Meanwhile, the chomper was crestfallen, disappointed that Wu Buyi didn't feed him.
"Meow..."
He was hungry. Even though he had just eaten a lot, he wanted more.
Suddenly, the wind picked up and blew from west to east, carrying the scent of the BBQ and wolf blood.
Chomper drooled. Its vines and roots wiggled, extending and following the scent toward the source. It dragged its body from the septic tank and the boulder, crawling toward Leo's cabin.