"Hello guys, my name is Maria. I'm 17years old and I and my family just moved to town...." I sounded empty and boring. How was I to bedazzle everyone with my charm and swoop them off their feet on my first day of school. There was nothing peculiar to me, I was boring and awkward in every context and I was always the loner not because I didn't want anyone around me but because I somehow scared everyone away with how easily it was for me to make every encounter with people awkward. As I stared at my miserable image in the mirror, I just wished somehow there was some kind of doppelganger in the mirrors, who could switch places with me and maybe replace me in this sorry life, maybe then things could get better. But then again, that is but mere wishes. I was not an ugly duckling, I had hazel eyes, pouty lips and chestnut brown hair. Everyone always told of how good my figure was but my dysmorphic mind didn't let me buy any of that crap. I was a bit small, at about 5'4 and I had quite generous curves which I didn't like very much. I've always wished I was on the slim and tall side but then again, wishes.
Snap, enough of all the self loathe. Today was my first day of school since we moved town and I had to get ready.
My parents just up one day and decided they needed a change of scenery and without a care in the world of how we felt about it, they moved I and my brother Andrew across states to settle in the small town of Nivea where I gathered from my many researches that everyone knew everyone. I didn't like this idea because I just loved big towns just like Lakewood where anyone could just blend in like a chameleon and have no one notice you. I've never moved town before and really didn't know what to expect here. I had a best friend Beth back at Lakewood's and I've spent numerous nights up wondering just how I could survive in this newness, away from the one person who understood me for me and didn't judge me because of my different choices.
I guess I need to get ready now, I undo my hair which I put up in a bun the previous night before I went to bed. I'll be washing it for the first time in days today because I need to get it looking good and proper. I brush my teeth, take a bath, wash my hair and brush it. Now we come to the most complex part of getting ready, what to wear..
Normally I'll just put on a grey sweatpants and maybe a black sweatshirt with a pair of sneakers and probably do an updo hairstyle but this time, I wanted to look like a normal high schooler and not some homeless person. So I get a green floral dress Beth gave me on my last birthday which I never wore, I thought today was a good occasion to wear it. I got out a pair of white sneakers to go with it and with my hair, I didn't want to just go with a boring ol' ponytail or something, so I decided to curl them. So I set to work with my curling iron and by the time I was done, my fiery locs stood out and I had to admit, they looked beautiful. I never did makeup and that was not about to change even though everything about me seemed to be changing today. Just as I was trying to bring my room to some form of order, my mum barges into the room like she always does.
POV: she never knocks....
And immediately she stops dead in her tracks and stares at me with a glint in her eyes and she begins to go all mushy on how pretty I looked and uhhhh...does she know how to embarrass me.
I head down with her to get breakfast and there my dad and my brother are sitting at the table going at a plate of pancakes with syrup on the side and when they see me, my brother busts into bouts of laughter and remarks "...at least you don't look like an embarrassment today" and my mum gives him a whack on the head and says "be nice" and I in turn, let out a laugh. I actually think my brother is the only person who is honest to me in this household. My dad on the other hand was stunned, I guess he couldn't believe it, he tells me how pretty I looked and how I was going to have such an awesome day at school and him and my mum keep exchanging weird glances. I was so anxious that I could only take very small bites of my meal. After breakfast, my dad drops us off and today either marks the start of a good story or the point where everything spirals down.
~~
I had just gotten to school when I realized today was not about to be so good after all. First I went to the principal's office to get my schedule and while I was walking to the locker room, a group of girls walked right into me making me drop the schedule slip and instead of being sorry, they make snide and rude remarks and walk right past me. I had trouble finding my classes as I didn't have a guide and wasn't about to ask anyone for help. I was able to make it to Biology class but I arrived late when everyone was already settled.
Immediately I walked in, the teacher commented on how late I was to the class and I explained to him that I was new. He quickly requested that I introduce myself to the class. I suffered from a severe case of Social Anxiety Disorder(SAD) and I had extreme panic attacks whenever I had to say anything to public ears. I was visibly shaken as I was about to introduce myself even though I had rehearsed it word for word in the days leading up to today. As I opened my mouth to speak, I heard chuckles from the back of the class. As I was scanning through the room filled with such strange and unfamiliar faces trying to get a grip on myself, my eyes met his.
~~
He had glistening green eyes, a perfectly chiseled face, a very beautiful and glowing tan, a head of brown lush hairs and at that point I was mesmerized. I forgot that I was standing before so many people and to me, it was just him. I could only see him. I began to speak as I stared at him and he returned my gaze with a soothing look on his face. Somehow I drew the strength and the grace to talk to the whole class. I felt a surge of confidence as I felt his eyes on me even as I was no longer looking at him. I gave a brief introduction about myself and the panic and fear which always gripped me in situations like this sort of dissipated and I felt a surge of confidence reverberate through me. I couldn't keep track of what I was saying as my mind was wandering but I guess I delivered my point as when I stopped talking, everyone echoed "Welcome Maria" as I made my way to the only empty seat in the whole class which was directly in front of, you know who.
I sat there but I couldn't concentrate throughout the class, I kept thinking of how I looked from his angle although the only look his angle availed him was the back of my head. This was definitely a love at first sight kinda thing and never had I in the past felt this way for any male in my life as I was highly averse to cliches of this sort. This particular male made me feel jitters and chills down my spine each time I thought about how his eyes made me feel and what they did to me, his eyes. Weird how I felt such a cascade of emotions in such short moments, felt unreal.
Amidst my train of thoughts, the bell indicating the end of class went off and he immediately stood up and walked right out of class. This was when I noticed just how tall and majestic he looked. His rear looked just as good.
I was slowly gathering up my stuff when I heard some voices that seemed to be talking to me. I lifted up my head and saw two people who came to say hi to me, a boy and a girl.
They were the first people to acknowledge my existence since I set foot here and I kinda felt good about me. The girl introduced herself as Molly and the boy as Craig and something about how free spirited she was reminded me of Beth and I immediately felt relaxed. They engaged me in a chit chat about sweet nothings and it actually felt good that some people were being nice to me today and finally a distraction from the hunk that had preoccupied my thoughts, maybe the day was not going to be so bad after all. We headed out into the hallway, en route to the locker rooms just chatting away.
~~~
She made her way across the hallway into the locker room and I didn't know how but she seemed to have ensnared me as I couldn't take my mind off her. She looked small and delicate in the green dress she wore, her beautiful hair cascading down her shoulders and her face, innocent and graceful in its look.
She was of such ethereal beauty and loveliness. When it came her all my senses were heightened. I could smell the lavender fragrance in her hair and the soft perfume on her skin. She cackled with laughter in response to what one of the duo accompanying her said and I couldn't help but notice how straight her teeth were.
Just then, she lifted her gaze and our eyes met yet again and I felt her shift as though she were fidgeting and in that moment, I knew I had to look out for this one but for now, I had to get away from here so I turn and head out.
Her name was Maria. Why did she awaken so much awareness in me? How did she rile up emotions in me that I felt were long dead? She stirred up a consciousness in me that revolved only on her to the exclusion of every other person in the room.
I noticed everything about her, even as she sat directly in front of me back in class, I could feel her nerves, hear her heart thumps, the blood coursing through her veins and I knew I affected her just as much as she did me.
Amidst all the emotions, she had awoken a hunger in me and at that point, I knew I needed to be sated
~~~