Alright, this is a pretty huge announcement!
EDIT: there were slightly changes as someone pointed out a mistake, the intent is the same.
Well, in this case, I'm altering the entire fic, the modification is simultaneously huge and... not since it won't really affect the direction of the fic.
I haven't gone back over the chapters yet, (it'll take me a few days to do so), but new chapters will be posted WITH the change and I feel it doesn't affect much of what happened or the direction Anakin took, just some of his musings.
So, what am I changing? The Force.
In short, I started this fic with the Dualist interpretation of the Force that Extended universe/Legends and now Disney canon seem to adopt, taking into consideration the common Taoistic interpretation of the Dark/Light side of the Force where they're more like In and Yang, two halfs of a whole.
From now on, I'll be changing it to Lucas canon, which is basically the first six movies. So, there's no Light side of the Force, only the Force and a corruption of it (Dark Side).
Anakin no longer fears the Dark Side, but he's aware that every use of it has a great cost and he's trying to stop, (He's not very good at it)
For a longer explanations: I really hope you guys read this, it's a serious explanation of a pretty important thing for this fic, The Force.
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Longer explanation
Alright, this is a pretty huge change and I haven't updated the chapters with it yet, but new chapters will be posted WITH the changes.
I'll probably make all the necessary corrections in two or three days and, if you guys want, you may re-read it, but I feel there's no real need. Yeah, the change is important, but it doesn't change the direction of the fic or Anakin's actions, only some of his musings.
So, what did I change and why?
For those who don't know, there's a pretty HUGE change in SW canon.
SW canon has always been divided, with the Movies standing by themselves (Later, Clone Wars, but that was a change), then the extended universe, where crazy things happened, many epic stories were told and, unfortunately, some very bad stories were also told.
So, it's basically: Lucas canon - Extended universe/Legends - Disney Canon.
Lucas canon was always the movies and the extended universe were the comics, which was kinda it's own thing, but Lucas seemed to keep an eye on them so they didn't become too crazy.
EDIT: As has been pointed out, the clone wars series was actually Lucas Canon and, in it, Lucas finally spoke of the Force as having a Light and Dark side, but that was a new development and those sides were NEVER complimentary.
The light side was still the Force, found in every living thing while the Dark Side was still inherently corruptive and unnecessary.
LUCAS CANON doesn't accept the Yin / Yang interpretation. The Dark Side is a corruption. LUCAS TALKING ABOUT IT (4mim): https://www.you tube.com/watch?v=0JRghgqTS5I
Later, Disney canon was born, which includes the sequels, (which are CRAP! in my opinion), but also things like several good SW comics and, surprisingly, things like Clone wars. So, what is this change? It's the Force.
Now, forgive me if you already know this but, in Lucas canon, there was no Light side of the Force, (Later, he accepted it in the Clone Wars, but not the Yin & Yang interpretation) there was only the Force and the Dark Side. In fact, Luke Skywalker once mentioned bringing Anakin to the good side, but never in any of Lucas movies was the term Light Side used, or bringing to the light, or anything light related.
The Light Side was born on the extended universe and then made the jump to Lucas Canon with Clone Wars and Disney canon. With the Dark Side STILL being a corruption, that never changed.
For Lucas, the Dark Side is a corruption, a cancer, it has no place in the universe, a perversion of the Force that simply shouldn't exist and only brought destruction. It was adictive, like a drug.
What happened was that, with time, people saw the Dark Side and The Force and thought, well, there's a Dark Side, obviously there should be a Light Side, they also considered things like Taoism, the jedi teachings of selflessness against selfishness and all that.
So, the Light Side was born, with it being the good side, teaching selflessness, love to all people, the importance of life. With the Dark Side being selfshness, actions driven by emotions, hate.
With all the talk of bringing balance to the Force, many fans come to some logical conclusions: What is a balanced life? One with the right amount of selfshness and selflessness. A lot of people came to believe that the Jedi's failure in the prequels was that they leaned too much on the Light Side, abandoning their emotions.
From everything I have read and Lucas has said, that was never the case, the Jedi didn't lean too much to the Light side because, when Lucas made the movie, it didn't exist. Later, he did talk about the Light Side, but not as a complimentary to the Dark Side, the later was NEVER needed, it was always a corruption. No, the Jedi's failure came from them NOT following the teachings of the Force, instead of following it to the extreme and "Falling out of Balance" as many people believe.
There's also a comon belief in Grey Jedi using both sides, but, for Lucas, that's not really the case, one can't use the Dark Side together with The Force, the Dark is evil, like an addictive drug, there is NO balance in the Dark Side.
When I started writing this, I was using a lot of the Vader comics, as well as some Legends things so, I started by using the common belief of the Force as two sides, with my base in Taoism. I started with the intent on making the Force Yin and Yang, dark and Light, both sides that complimented each other.
After 14 chapters and a lot of thought, I think further chapters would be better if I changed it to the Lucas canon original interpretation:
There's the Force/Light Side and the Dark Side, with the Dark Side giving a boost in strenght, but also being akin to a drug, a corruption that brings no benefits beside immediate power. A shortcut that wounds the soul.
Anakin, after so long immersed in the Dark Side, no longer fears this corruption, he believes he must accept his actions, not flee from them and that, if necessary, he can bear the use of the Dark Side again without falling. But he is still doing his best to avoid using the Dark Side, not balance its use with the Light, (he's still not very good at that)
IN SHORT: I started this fic with the intent of using the Taoistic interpretation of the Force, with the Light and Dark side being complimentary, mostly because I thought it an interesting thing.
I'm changing that premisse. Instead, I'll be using Lucas canon so that the Dark Side IS a corruption of the Force, one that offers strenght for a price.
The Light side, or simply The Force is in everything, it actually includes feelings and has no rule about atachements, that rule came from the Jedi in an attempt to stop other Jedi from falling to the dark side, but The Force itself didn't require you not to feel in order to use it, only the Jedi.
The Dark Side isn't simply using feelings, it's taking the easier path, taking the shortcut, every time you use it, you find it easier to use again, insidiously affecting you until you can only feel the Dark Side.
Vader has come to see the use of the Dark Side as a convenient evil, a burden he's willing to use if necessary, something he no longer fears, but really should avoid every time he can (he's not very good at it)
In short, what is the Dark Side for Lucas canon?
Lucas especifically said that the Force gives you a destiny but you also have free will to refuse that destiny. That doesn't make you a Dark Sider. You are free to follow the will of the Force or not without falling to the Dark Side.
The Jedi were a sect, THEIR belief was in following the Will of the Force, in a way they were like monks or priests, they CHOOSE to accept their destinies and SHOULD have followed the will of the Force.
In the prequels, the Jedi had lost their way, instead of following the Will of The Force, they followed the senate and their own teachings.
The Force/Light Side itself doesn't require you to follow Jedi teachings even if you ARE force sensitivity. Being a Jedi isn't the same as being force sensitive, it's not a REQUIREMENT and the Jedi did let you leave the temple if you wanted to.
Also, using the force doesn't really stop you from loving someone, forming attachments don't HAVE to lead to the dark side, that's simply the Jedi's belief.
The Jedi decided thousands of years ago that forming atachements was dangerous. But it is also important to note that they hadn't always thought that way, it was just a recent development. (Compared to the Galaxy, it actually happened a thousand years ago.)
The problem was not Anakin loving Padmé, the problem was that he wasn't as strong as he should be, mentally that is.
Anakin loved Padmé, that was actually fine, but he put her life above others, she was more important, which, for a Jedi, was bad and he should have left the order just like Ashoka did.
Still, the Force itself doesn't disaprove of attachements, just the Jedi and they're not the same thing.
The problem is that, because of his love, Anakin became afraid of losing her, he became angry when people threatened her and he started using the Force in that way. It's a subtle distinction but, eventually, he wasn't using the Force to protect her, he was using it not to lose her.
Really, he reached out to the Dark Side in fear of loosing her and the influence of the Dark Side slowly corrupted him. Yes, he still loved her, but that love was corrupted into possessiveness. It feed his jealously.
Again, it's a subtle distinction, but his love turned from selfless to far too selfish, to the point he ended up hurting her when he just thought she was going to leave him.
The use of the Dark Side slowly corrupted him to the point that, while he still loved her, that love become like a sickness. The focus of his love was no longer on her but on himself.
The Dark Side is insidious and, slowly, his actions changed from protecting her life to not being able to bear living without her. He went from caring about her to caring about what she made him feel. The selfishness of the Dark Side corrupted their relationship from one of mutual love to one where he was possessive.
Basically, the Dark Side feed into Anakin's selfishness and turned his relationship into an abusive one. But The Force/Light side isn't about completely abandoning his feelings, that's just the Jedi way, almost like a Priest will not marry because he dedicates his life to God.
Really, being a Jedi wasn't a right, it was a responsability, there were sacrifices the Jedi were willing to make because they believed and felt like supporting others, the Will of The Force, preserving life as a whole. If a Jedi wanted to marry, have kids, form attachements, he was entirely free to leave the temple, it wasn't forbidden nor had any requirements.