The rest of the day went by in a blur. Se Ah did not know how she got back to her room, what she did all day after that, or whether she ate or drank water, all that she knew was that it was already 11 PM and she was still feeling crushed and devastated.
She did not manage to save much even while working for a big company but it was still a lot of money that she put aside with a dream of having a better life in mind. Se Ah spent five years slaving away for that money and now it was all gone. It was gone just like that, in a moment, as if it never existed before. And she was now exactly where she was five years ago, if not worse. What was she supposed to do now?
"I only have my apartment deposit money and now I have to use it to pay for my mother's hospital bills..."
Se Ah covered her cold face with both hands and let out a loud, miserable groan while falling backwards on the bed. The feeling of the soft fabric of the generic-white hotel sheets was mocking her in the rudest manner. There she was - broke, homeless, with a sick mother locked up in the mental hospital who might also end up on the streets, lying on the queen-sized bed in the hotel room that costs her monthly rent per single day. The irony was insufferable and she could not help but laugh in an almost hysterical fit.
"I guess this is just my fate. I simply was not born to be happy. I should not even have dreams. Look what happens when you do, Yoon Se Ah... Just because you call yourself by this name and pretend to be someone else all the time, in the end, your fate hits you in the head with the reality brick and leaves you broken. That's right... I was born in misery and I have to die miserably, too."
She said it out loud as if doing so was supposed to convince her even more, but she was still reluctant to accept that truth. Se Ah was not new to abandoning her hopes and yet somehow, the older she got, the harder it seemed now. Was it because she had spent so much time living a relatively quiet life up until now? That must be it. She got used to peace so much, she had already forgotten what it felt like to be crushed.
Tired of wallowing, she sent a message to Team Leader Shin, informing him that she would not come to work tomorrow and would take a personal day, then washed her face, changed into one of Da Hye's dresses, and went down to the already familiar hotel bar to drown her misery in something red and dry.
The bar greeted Se Ah with a lively clamor and unusually chipper music. A large part of the room was decorated with silver-colored, sparkling balloons and huge cardboard letters spelling "Happy Birthday", shimmering with glitter whenever the dimmed light would hit them with its intimate warmth.
"A Birthday party for one of our residents."
The young, handsome bartender whom Se Ah met that fateful night when she ordered a glass of Merlot, smiled at her and offered her a seat with the friendly gesture of his hand.
"Is it okay for me to be here?"
"Sure, they did not reserve the whole bar, we are still accepting customers."
Se Ah felt relieved. She did not even want to think about what would have happened if she was not able to have a drink there.
"Can I have a bottle of expensive champagne, please?"
The bartender, whose hands were already holding the black bottle of Merlot, all ready to pour her a glass, raised his eyebrows in confusion, then took a tall sparkling glass, put it in front of Se Ah, and asked the second bartender to bring him a bucket of ice and a bottle of French champagne, the name of which sounded like gibberish to Miss Yoon and she decided to ignore it.
"Are you celebrating something?"
Se Ah looked back at the crowd behind the giant wall of silver balloons and tried to remember the last time she celebrated anything at all. She then put on an awkward smile and nodded her head.
"Yeah... Perhaps."
Expensive French champagne tasted like a waste of money that night. Whenever it touched her lips and tongue, she was once again reminded why she rarely drank it - it lacked substance, but it was quick and effective, and that was exactly what she needed tonight.
She did not manage to finish the second bottle, though, both her head and her body became heavy and the room began to spin as if she was having a rather bizarre carousel ride. When her hand could no longer hold her chin, Se Ah leaned over the wooden bar counter, put her burning hot face on its pleasantly cool surface, and closed her tired eyes. Nothing was now relevant or important - the chatter of the men sipping their whiskey, the loud clamor of the Birthday party, the sound of the bottles opening and the glasses being placed on the tables, everything seemed distant and unreal as if it was happening somewhere far away or even in a dream, Se Ah's cloudy mind was drifting away in sickening circular motions.
"... Ah? ... Se Ah?... Miss Se Ah? Miss Yoon Se Ah, can you hear me? Gosh... What happened to her? Why did you let her drink so much?"
A familiar low voice reached her ears and she had to make an effort to open her heavy eyelids. A big, warm hand that clearly belonged to a man was carefully patting her on her shoulder, trying to wake her up, and when she finally managed to get a clear picture of her surroundings, she could not help but feel both surprised and unbelievably embarrassed.
"Yang... Min Seok?"