With trembling hands, I reached out for the phone, frantic to dial Arlo's number. Each digit I pressed felt like a blade piercing through my already shattered heart. The excruciating agony radiated from my fingertips, a physical manifestation of the pain that consumed me.
With every unanswered call, my heart sank deeper into the depths of hopelessness. As the minutes stretched into an eternity, the truth became painfully clear - he was cheating.
I've always struggled with figuring out my next move in this journey called life. Why did I possess such a lack of courage and strength? Why can't I walk in and start grilling him? I'm about to tie the knot with him, and our big day is happening tomorrow.
I had every reason to be suspicious of what he was up to with Kolleen in the hotel room, and it was absolutely within my rights to question him about what was happening. But no matter how hard I tried, I was unable to conquer the overwhelming sense of powerlessness, as if I lacked the courage to confront whatever lay beyond that closed door. I was in a state of denial, unsure of how to navigate the situation at hand. My feelings for him were strong, yet I couldn't help but question if he reciprocated those same emotions.
In my quest for my desire to start a family, I swallowed my pride and let things slide, and for that, I felt a deep sense of humiliation and shame. Unfortunately, I didn't give myself the same amount of love as I did to him.
I found myself frozen in place, with my attention centred on the door. Each passing minute was as if a relentless knife, held by the person who held my heart, pierced me repeatedly, each stab reopening wounds that never truly healed. The excruciating pain of betrayal ingested me from within, leaving me empty of any emotion.
A cold gust of wind blew over me, and it made me laugh out loud. My hair fluttered in the air and got tangled up, just like the life that was happening in front of me. To still be standing there, I questioned if it was a sign of my courage or ignorance.
The tears I shed warmed my cold, frozen hands. After wiping away my tears with the sleeves of my jacket, I decided to face him. My heart was already shattered; a few more shattered pieces won't make a difference.
As I was crossing the street and headed towards the motel, a deafening screech pierced through the air as a car violently slammed on its brakes, knocking my senses back into place. My heart raced with a surge of adrenaline, and fear rushed through my veins. Instinctively, I raised my trembling arms to shield my face, creating a small window between my fingers to observe cautiously.
I realised the fragility of life, reminded of the beauty that exists within each passing second. What if I had died at this very moment? Leaving behind countless dreams left unfulfilled.
Each step I have taken, and every decision I have made, has shaped the person I am today. I should embrace the beauty of my experiences, both wins and setbacks, for they have moulded my character and strength.
The driver, a middle-aged man, was in a state of utter exasperation. His face was imprinted with lines of frustration. In the midst of the chaos in my mind, a jumble of worries and thoughts, he suddenly let loose an outpouring of insults in my direction. I couldn't understand a word he said. I averted my sight and continued walking across the street.
With a slow and deliberate pace, I passed through the length of the corridor—each step I took felt measured as if I were treading on fragile ground. My feet barely lifted off the floor as I moved forward. The silence in the air was noticeable, broken only by the faint echo of my footsteps.
The door stood before me, an imposing barrier between the known and the unknown. Each passing second tightened the knot of anxiety that spiralled around me. The last thing I wanted to do was break down in tears as I did when I first learned of his infidelity.
In the darkest recesses of my thoughts, a sense of self-doubt crept in, whispering its insidious words. "It will merely cast me in the light of an attention-seeking fool desperately wanting his attention."
Should I just leave peacefully, or should I confront him?
Now that I've come this far, I might as well drop a casual "hey" to my fiancé and his secret lover.
I took a few slow, deep breaths, then blew my face off with the cloth in my pocket and fixed my dishevelled hair.
Since Kolleen never apologised, I never felt comfortable in her presence; instead, she always made me feel inferior, as if I weren't good enough for Alro or worthy of being her opponent.
I knocked and waited a few seconds, then knocked again, but no one came to the door. My nostrils flared as I inhaled cold air to put out the fire that was burning inside of me. I was trying to control my rage, but all of a sudden, I began to realise that I had become a time bomb that was just sitting there, ready to go off. And the more I waited, the more impatient I got.
The door swings open.