"He's dead," Marcello snarled. "Get the fuck up, bitch. It's time to get going."
I continued to convulse, hardly able to come to terms with what was happening.
I'd lost my father.
I'd lost my fucking father.
Both my mum and my dad…
Leaving me to be completely alone in this dark and dangerous world.
Alone with Marcello.
Plunged into the dark and dangerous world of organized crime.
Completely out of my depth.
"The faster you cooperate, the easier this gets for you, baby girl," Marcello whispered, grabbing hold of my arm, forcing me on my feet.
He dragged me to his car, but my eyes never once left the floor, where the dead body of my father lay.
For the first time in my life…
I felt lost.
"La mia principessa araba," he murmured, cocking his head to the side. "My Arabian princess. You don't need your father. You have me now."
He shoved me into the car, forcing the seatbelt on me, before sliding into the Driver's seat himself.
"I'll take care of you, il mio amore." My love. "With my dying breath. I promise you. You have just witnessed my loyalty for yourself. You don't need anyone else but me. I'm going to make you happy. My mafia princess. My beautiful mafia princess…"
I could hardly bring myself to listen to his words, my eyes still fixated on my father's dead body, as my surroundings spun around me.
Wondering why God allowed this to happen.
Wondering why God was punishing me like this.
Marcello began to drive.
"It's time to take you home, baby girl," he whispered, bringing my hand up to his face, pressing his lips down on my palm. "Your new home…
"With me."
I never asked to be thrown into a kill or be killed world.
An eat or be eaten world.
I never asked for any of this to happen.
But watching my father die in my arms…
Caused something to snap in me today.
Caused my heart to tear apart into millions of tiny shreds…
Broken way beyond repair.
Shattered way beyond mending.
I sold my soul to the devil this day.
The day that the only person I had left in this world…
Was ripped away from me.
Part of me wished that I was dead along with him.
Part of me wished that this sick bastard would put a bullet through my brain…
Put an end to me.
Just like he did to my father.
But now…
I was fixated on vengeance.
Fixated on watching this motherfucker burn.
I wouldn't rest until I got justice.
Retribution was mine.
I may not have been built for this way of living.
I may not have had it in me to see the things that I would have to see moving forward.
But I would have to put up with it.
I wanted to give up.
I wanted to die.
Not wanting to live like this.
Feeling helpless.
Feeling used.
But my father wouldn't want me to give up so easily.
He would want me to save myself.
To see the situation out…
Find a way to crawl out of it.
Move on with my life.
He wouldn't want me to dwell on what happened.
He wouldn't want me to blame myself for his death.
He would want me to keep pushing forward…
With or without him.
Regardless of the situation.
Who would I be to deny my father's wishes?
He was all I had left.
I would have to play Marcello at his own game.
Become colder…
Stop showing weakness.
His weakness was me…
And I had to use that to my advantage to get out of this arrangement before it was too late.
The mafia may have destroyed my father…
But I would not let it destroy me.