-Charlotte, January 16th
The harsh disjointed echo of the fierce rain against my window mingled with the sickening lurch in my stomach, the world outside as dark as the inside of my eyelids. I clung to the cold porcelain of the toilet bowl, my school uniform crumpled and wrinkled. Then I felt it once more, another load of vomit coming up my throat.
It was a little before six in the morning and what a horrible morning it's been. Yesterday still doesn't feel real, I feel like I was in a daze for nearly the entire day. Looking back on everything, I'm both confused and disgusted. Vampires, magic, ghosts, all of those have been confirmed to be real in a single day. That's fine, if that's how it is, I can accept it. What I'm struggling to accept is how I reacted to the situation. I mean, Veri figured everything out so perfectly, every choice he made was correct and yet I didn't do anything special. Actually, I advocated to kill a boy my age, a boy I even had classes with.
In hindsight, it was the least optimal option, but could anyone blame me at the time? I mean, he attacked us first! So what if he never intended to kill us or if he was hesitating or whatever? How could I have known?! How could- and just like that another fresh load of vomit climbed its way up my throat.
I glanced nervously at the locked door, the flimsy barrier that stood between me and the disappointed faces of my parents, and the inquisitive eyes of my older sister. They couldn't know. Not now. Not ever. I'm not talking about the supernatural stuff I learned about or what happened to me, I mean they can never see me in such a pathetic state.
The relentless rain outside was a comforting cloak, drowning out the sounds of my retching and the sobs that threatened to escape. It's a shame that I couldn't stay there longer, but I had to go. My sister was going to wake up soon and I didn't plan to even so much as pass by her this morning.
As I stood up, my legs felt like jelly. All that running from yesterday finally caught up with me. Each step felt hellish, but I endured.
My reflection in the mirror was a ghost of the person I was just yesterday. Pale, sweaty, eyes red-rimmed from lack of sleep and too many tears. I splashed water on my face, hoping to wash away the guilt and confusion clinging to me, but it was futile. The cold water only made me shiver, a stark reminder of how real everything was.
I inched my way out of the bathroom and into my room. I forced myself to change into a fresh uniform, each movement slow and deliberate as if I could delay facing the day by dragging out the simple task.
Outside my door, I could hear my sister exiting her room and going into the bathroom. Hopefully, there isn't any lingering smell. My hands trembled as I buttoned my shirt, the sound of the rain still thrumming a chaotic rhythm outside.
Usually, my parents take me to school on their way to work. Today, I don't feel like having to make small talk with those two. They're the overenthusiastic types, they're also the lying sort. It's weird to put into words, but you can just tell that they avoid saying what they think. Instead of being blunt, they use their words to trick and steer you in the direction that they want. Even when they do speak the truth, it's always just a small part of what they actually want.
When they speak to me, the feeling I get is always something along the lines of: 'You'll do' or 'I guess you'll succeed us.'
They were far more enthusiastic when they thought my sister would succeed them, but... well that won't exactly pan out.
To them, she's like a cracked mirror that no longer reflects their ambitions. She's still their daughter and all, but they've placed all their expectations on me now, how annoying.
I grabbed my backpack, taking a deep breath to steady myself before unlocking the door. The creak of the hinges seemed unnaturally loud, a betrayer of my secret struggles. I slipped into the hallway, careful to avoid any interaction. The house was still quiet, the morning routine just beginning to stir to life.
"Hey, Charlotte! Could you pass me a towel, I forgot to bring mine!"
Guess I messed up.
"Yeah, yeah, I got you... Hey, uh, do you remember what you told me back in the car when we went shopping?"
As I walked toward the bathroom door to hand her the towel, I expected her to simply stick out her hand, but instead, she completely opened the door.
"Woah, cold!"
"Obviously."
I looked away, it's not that I hadn't seen her naked before, but it just didn't feel right...
"What I told you back in the car... yeah I think so. Why? Did something happen?"
"No, it's nothing. I'll get back to you on it."
After handing her the towel, I continued on down the hall toward the front door. I intended to walk to school today.
"Hey! Where are you going?"
"Gonna walk to school today. I don't feel like waiting for Mom or Dad to get up."
"I could take you if you want! If you go out in this weather you'll get sick."
I paused, considering her offer. When I turned back to look at her, any seriousness I had fizzled out and dissolved. My sister had stepped out into the hallway without even bothering to wrap herself in the towel I'd handed her.
"No, it's okay... I could use the walk. Clears my head, you know?"
She gave me a concerned look but thankfully didn't push further. "Alright, just be careful, okay?"
"Yeah, I will," I assured her, my eyes thoughtlessly dragging across her body. "Huh, we've got the same mole on our upper thigh."
"Ah!"
Like Adam suddenly becoming conscious of his nakedness, a look of realization flashed on my sister's face before she hopped back into the bathroom.
Walking toward the door, I picked up one of the umbrellas that we kept in a closet.
The moment I stepped outside, the rain hit me like a thousand tiny needles. While the umbrella helped, in rain this heavy it only served to slightly lessen the onslaught.
The streets were empty save for a few cars, the usual morning bustle had been silenced by the heavy rain. It was as if the world had paused, giving me a moment to breathe.
I was at a crosswalk, and although not a single car was driving on the road, I still wasn't allowed to cross. I could've walked across the street without issue, but for some reason, I decided to press the button and wait.
"Felt like going for a walk?"
Surprised, I turned my head toward the voice. It was a girl who'd been standing right next to me.
How long had she been there? I had no clue, I never noticed her walking up.
She was short, barely reaching my shoulder, with curly blonde hair that framed her face in wild, damp ringlets. Her entire outfit was white, from her simple dress to the small, lacy cardigan she wore over it. She didn't have an umbrella, she allowed the pounding rain to do with her as it would.
At first, she seemed just another pedestrian caught in the downpour, but when she turned her head towards me, I saw her eyes. In place of normal pupils, her irises bore a stark, unsettling design—crosses, they were striking and glowed dimly in that eerie, grey atmosphere.
"Sorry if I shocked you. I don't have much time left now and I'm quite desperate, you see," she said, her voice soft and didn't seem capable of conveying the urgency that you'd expect from a statement like the one she'd just said.
I blinked, unsure of how to respond. "No, it's fine. Who... who are you exactly?"
"I am someone who's preparing to undergo a great ordeal. You may have heard of me, my name is Layla the Futureteller."
My sister might have mentioned something similar. Some girl who can tell the future and has been gaining popularity.
"I see..."
Looking up, the symbol had changed from the red hand to the white pedestrian, it was time for me to cross. As I stepped forward, the girl grabbed my hand.
"Don't worry about school right now," she spoke quickly, a hint of impatience in her tone. "What matters is what you want, Charlotte. You need to start thinking about your ideal reality, one that discards all notions of what has to be."
I stared at her, my mind racing. "My ideal reality?"
She stepped closer, as she looked at me, the intensity of her gaze strengthened by the ethereal nature of her eyes. "I mean a world where your desires shape reality, where you're not bound by the constraints and expectations of others. Think about what you truly want, Charlotte. There's more at stake here than you realize. You might not understand now, but the materialization of a new world is soon upon us."
Her voice was passionate, it wasn't like my parents, it left nothing back.
The light had turned green, and the signal to walk blared above us, but I remained rooted to the spot, transfixed by her words. Ideal reality? A world shaped by my desires? It sounded like a fantasy, an impossible dream. But after yesterday, I'm not sure if I even know what's possible and what isn't. As I looked into her eyes, I felt a strange pull, a whisper of possibility that I couldn't ignore.
Without me saying a single word, her face stretched into a large, warm smile. Finally, she let go of my hand.
Now that I think of it, I do, or, I did have an ideal reality. A world that I would've given anything to reach. And, for some reason, at a time like this, I find my mind wandering off to Veri. It wasn't just yesterday, that day half a year ago, he did something that I couldn't do. When I first came to be in his debt.
No, if we're talking about my ideal reality, I want more. I-
Soon enough, a web of ideas sprouted from my mind. By the time I snapped back to reality, that girl was gone.
"My future... So what, I should grasp at a new world or something?"
The rain continued to pour, a relentless curtain around me, but for a moment, it felt as though time itself had stopped.