The alarm I set last night buzzes and I groan not in the mood or even ready for todays activities.
Today, mum and I will be meeting Adriano's mom and sister cause, we're going shopping.
Wedding dress shopping.
Today, I'm expected to find my dream dress or get an idea for my dream dress and I only have limited time considering the wedding is in almost a week.
It's kinda sad because I've fantasized about maybe one day getting courage to trust another man, falling inlove with someone and having the perfect simple wedding. This was not at all in my mind.
I've always trusted dad to not marry me off to some random guy for business but I do understand his reason for doing so now. As much as I don't want this, I do hope for the best. I'm an optimist, I've been trying not to consider the bad but I keep having this recurring thought of, what if Adriano is a horrible person, what if he hurts me or makes me relive my hurt, what if dad is too late..
My thoughts are interrupted by a quiet knock on my door followed by it slowly opening with mom's head shooting in.
"Good morning, darling" mom said walking in and seating beside me.
"Morning ma" I respond leaning into her as she wraps her arms around me.
"Today is a big day hmm" she mutters.
"My baby girl is getting married. Even though it's not willed and you aren't ready, I do hope the best for you. You don't have to worry okay just give us a little time and we'll come to get you okay sweetie." She says kissing my forehead and I nod, yawning.
"Miguel..Miguel mentioned he spoke to Adriano some days ago." She continues and my once sleepy eyes become brighter as I'm more interested in the path the conversation is heading.
"What?" I question hoping to get more out of mama
"Miguel said he seems genuine. He said he doesn't quite understand Adriano's interest in you but what he did notice is that Adriano is strong willed about protecting you and giving you his best. He even assured Miguel that he won't keep us apart and we can call and visit anytime" she replies in attempt to reassure me.
"But I don't want his best, I don't need him to protect me. I'm perfectly fine as I am. Why does he want to take my happiness away so bad and just cause of a picture" I said, sadness seeping in and my eyes getting teary.
"Huh?" Confused, mum queries and I fill her in on all Adriano told me.
"Two months at most baby girl" Mom says, kissing my forehead again before getting up from our cuddled position.
"We have to get ready to leave sweetheart" she says gesturing for me to get up then she hugs me and leaves to prepare.
I take deep breaths starting to get stressed about the whole thing.
••
I just got dressed and it's now time to meet with Adriano's family.
I feel a little tense but it can't be that bad right?
Hopefully they're nice.
Her outfit:

I walk down the stairs dramatically slow afraid my soon-to-be husband's mother and sister might not like me.
Soon-to-be husband, that's so weird even to think off.
Much to my surprise, when I got down, they were almost already deep in a friendly conversation with my mum and that's no surprise to me, Mum was very affable.
When they noticed me, they greeted me with wide smiles and before I knew it I was being attacked by a massive hug from his mother.
Her hugging me alone, calmed me down a lot. It was like a breath of fresh air after being suffocated.
"Oh my!-" she gasped, starting.
"You're gorgeous. Lei è molto bella, Mia" [she is very beautiful, Mia] His mom says and her daughter nods smiling. I didn't understand but I didn't question it either.
"Wow fratello has got taste" His cute little sister says as I open my arms up to hug her.
"I love your hair!" She says in admiration.
"Aw you guys both have pretty eyes" I compliment their beautiful blue eyes which are just like Adriano's.
"I'm Arianna, Adriano's mum and this is Mia his sister and literal world" His mom introduces herself and Mia blushes at her mom's comment.
He loves his sister, that's a good sign.
Maybe.
They say guys that are close to their sister make good partners.
Okay now you're dragging it.
"Nice to meet you, I'm Novalie" I said smiling back at them.
Before I knew it, I too was already engulfed in conversation with them. We already started getting familiar with each other. They asked me lots of questions about myself and I even showed them my garden before we headed out to start the day's work.
I don't even know why I was scared before, they seem so nice.
Mhmm already seeing yourself in the family.
Don't even start.
Fine.
••
We've been to so many stores and I've tried so many dresses. It's strenuous trying on dress after dress but it's worth it. Seeing the varying dress styles and how it looks on me fills my heart and it's making me emotional.
Even though the wedding isn't my will, seeing this sight is still as beautiful to me and makes me teary;

I want my dress to reflect my personality and I can't deny I'm a sucker for princess-ey dresses. I want a simple ball gown but mom is thinking over the top she wants me to do something that screams mafia queen but that isn't really me.
"Sorella, we have to remember that this wedding isn't really what she wants and I do know that's unfair. The little we can do is to let her have a say too in her own way" Arianna tells my mum and I smile flattered by her defending me and showing care for my opinions.
"That's true, let's look for something you like bébé" Mum says finally agreeing with me.
We searched further until, finally, I found something that screams me. I instantly fell in love with this dress even before I tried it on I could already feel drops falling from my eyes.
My reaction when the dress was like that of a child finding out about their next new game. In that moment of having the dress on, I found myself being genuinely excited for the wedding.
Well that didn't last long but at least I'll get married happy in my dress.
"You look super hot sister-in-law" Mia says excited too and I giggle. I've been getting lots of compliments from everyone since I tried this dress and even mom cried when she first saw me. I could see the proudness in Arianna's eyes and the Happiness in Mia's.
They have all been supportive of me since the very beginning, getting me through my anxiety, keeping me company, preventing me for spacing out, hyping and flattering me and giving me courage when I started to lack. Today has been a rollercoaster of emotions and I could already feel myself getting used to this.
My thoughts are interrupted by a phone ringing, it was Arianna's. Mama, Mia and I continue to talk but I couldn't help but hear Arianna too.
"sì, figliolo?" She says to the person on the phone. [Yes, son?]
"Novalie? per cosa?" Her Italian accent strong as she questions the person on the line. [Novalie? what for?]
"Ok bene" she says again as if retiring. [Okay, fine]
She stretches the phone out to my and gestures for me to take it
"Huh?" I asked confused as to why the phone is now being handed to me
"It's Adriano, he wants to talk to you" she whispers to me and I can't help but roll my eyes as I take the phone.
"Yes?" I say with a bored tone as I excuse myself to speak with my newly added burden.
"Why the fuck aren't you picking up your phone" he asks like he actually cares.
"It's on silent, I shouldn't be disturbed by my doting fiancé while choosing the dress I wear on the day you ruin my life, should I?" I reply coldly.
"How are you, Tesoro?" He asks ignoring my last remark.
"I'm alright, what do you want?" I respond obviously uninterested in wasting any time or making conversation with him.
"I want to take you out for dinner to get to know each other a bit. Before you say no, I would have you know that.. I have nothing to say that will convince but please Bambi" he says with a calm voice.
"hmmm" is all I say.
Go out with him...
Why would I do that?
Because he's super hot and he's offering food.
I love food.
"It will be good if we got to know each other more" he says trying to convince me.
"I don't know" I say hesitant.
"Come on, what could you lose" he says persuading.
"Ugh fine" I reluctantly accept.
"Really??" He says getting excited.
"Sure".
"Thank you I'll pick you up at seven okay"
"Okay."
••
I hate bras.
Why? Simple. They are incredibly uncomfortable. Hence, my reason to not wear one for dinner with Adriano.
I'm wearing a simple pink dress;

And just as I put on my silver heels, I hear a quiet knock on my door. Picking up my purse, I yell "come in!"
And Adriano comes in.
He looks good, he's wearing an all black outfit;

What is he doing here though? Couldn't he wait downstairs.
"Hey hey before you yell at me I'm taking you on a date not to prom. I can't be waiting downstairs like we're children." he says and I roll my eyes.
"Hi baby" he says with a playful smirk, opening his hands wide, gesturing for a hug.
I guess it's just a hug. It's not like I'm letting myself go.
I go in for the hug. I circle my arms around his neck as he wraps his arms tightly around my waist pulling me closer. I can't help but notice his sweet fresh scent again, I like it.
I let go after a reasonable amount of time but he is still gripping my waist. He senses it's over and finally let's me go.
I noticed the quick emotion in his eyes before it disappeared. Like he was sad I let go but that doesn't really matter.
"Oh..um let's go" He says awkwardly. He offers me his hands and I take it as we walk downstairs together. I see Miguel and mum on my way out and I give her a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek before we leave. Miguel sends threats to Adriano with his eyes.
I have to remember to ask him about their conversation soon.
When we got out, Adriano walks ahead of me to his car and opens the passenger door for me and closes it as I get in.
"So where are we going?" I ask him as he gets in.
"Depends, fast food or a classy meal?" He asks.
"Fast food" I answer.
"Okay"
He drives for a while before we get to a food truck and it felt suspicious we were the only ones there.
"Why are they no others here, Adriano?" I question him.
"Cause I rented the truck and it's services for the night" he says simply.
"But you hadn't known I'd chose this until a while ago" I say confused.
"I didn't, that's why I rented the truck and a whole restaurant somewhere incase you chose that." He explains like it wasn't a big deal.
That's sweet
Stopp
"So what do will you like to eat, Tesoro" he asks as we scan the menu on the truck.
We both get burritos and drinks.
"Wanna seat or you'd rather walk as we eat?" He asks.
"Walk as we eat. What's with all the questions?"
"Tonight is about questions Bambi. We're getting to know each other so we're basically going to throw questions at each other till we don't know what to ask anymore. That okay?" He explains and I nod.
He starts again. "You look very beautiful baby" he says as he wraps his arm around my shoulder.
"Thank you" I reply as I take my first bite from my burrito and a sip from my drink.
'Uhh that tastes so good' Consy gushes over the food.
"What's your favorite color?" He asks
"White. What about you?"
"Black. Things you enjoy doing?"
"I love gardening and reading" I tell him my favorite things.
"Do you have any special skills? Or daddy doesn't let you fight"
"I can handle guns but I prefer impalement, it's fun. What do you do? Host tea parties?" I said the last part teasing him.
"Ofcourse! You gonna cut me open at night if I don't invite you?" He asks amused.
"Duhh I'll be strongly offended" I say with a small smile and he chuckles.
"Any friends?" He asks.
"I was homeschooled and I don't have any interest in people but I guess Miguel is my best friend"
"Can I be your best friend too?"
"Best friend or husband, Adriano? Hint hint choose the first one" I say with little hope.
"Can I choose both amore?" he says smiling.
"hmm nope" I say giggling.
"mhmm I choose to be the best fucking husband" he says smirking.
"What do you know about husbanding?" I ask amused and he gasps dramatically as if I'd said the most ridiculous thing ever.
"When you meet husband me, you're going to swallow that statement" he says with a smirk on his face.
"Okay if you say so" I say smiling.
"Have any questions to ask before I go into questions about our marriage?" He asks.
"Might as well gonna interrogate you now. Will we be sleeping in the same room?"
"Whatever you're comfortable with but I'll like to have you by my side throughout the night" He says and I'm happy I'm given a choice about this.
"You're a grown man you don't need me to mummy you at night" I say teasing him again.
"Please mummy" he says and we both burst out in laughter.
"Besides you need your own room. You need privacy whenever you invite girls over for a release" I say matter-of-factly and he ceases steps and I look back at him questioning.
He catches up to me and immediately wraps his arms around my waist pulling me closer before letting go and holding my cheek as he looks down at me.
"Let's get this straight Bambi. That, will never be happening. You might not want this marriage or anything associated with me but that doesn't mean I'll be disloyal. I'm not marrying you to cheat and sleep around. I'm marrying you because I want to be there for you. I'm marrying you because I want to spend my days with you. The last time I was with another woman has been the last since I laid my eyes on you and nothing is changing that. Once we're legally married, you have my full commitment" He said his voice deep and clear as he looked deep into my eyes hoping saw the genuineness in his.
Once again, Adriano stunned me. I had no idea what to say or how to feel but this time, I didn't really have to think about how to feel cause I can't deny I'm flustered.
"Did you sleep around a lot?" I asked.
"Barely. I'm a workaholic and I always felt doing it was wasting useful time. Besides I'd never met a girl worth remembering or thinking of enough to desire sexual stimulation again. I basically do it, just for the health benefits."
"Why do you want to get married? You under any pressure?"
"I just want to be with you. I'm sorry if I'm hurting you and your family for my selfish reasons and I know there isn't anything that can validate my behavior. I do promise you though that I have good intentions and I'll never purposely hurt you." He says as he leans down to give me a kiss on the cheek.
"You can ask about the marriage now"
"Where do you want to go for our honeymoon?" He asks turning to his side and putting his hands over my shoulder again as we continue walking, still taking bites out of our food.
"Paris"
"Nice choice, amore. Do you want me to get a house before we get to Italy or you want to stay at my parents for a few days and go house hunting with me?"
"House hunting. I love looking at houses and their interiors plus I think it'll be best we choose the house ourselves." I say excited about the idea.
"What's something about you that not every one knows?" I ask him.
"That I'm not actually this grumpy ass mafia boss as they see me. I'm actually nice to my family and I will be to you too" He tells me.
"That's good. Grumpiness is unattractive" I say matter-of-factly and he chuckles.
"Do you want any children?" He suddenly asks.
"Ofcourse!" They're so cute.
"How many?"
"From two to four" I've thought about this alot.
"Okay baby. Let's get going?" He asks me.
"Okay, can we get ice cream?" I ask him suddenly in the mood for ice cream.
"Sure". He says smiling and I smile back at him.
We get a tub of ice cream and head back to my house. Adriano opens the car door for me and holds the tub with one hand while entwining our hands with his other as we go into the house.
Immediately we enter, is Miguel sitting facing the door moments away from sleeping off.
"Why are you sitting there Miguel?" I ask confused holding back laughter from his current position.
"Waiting for you to come back. Almost thought mister over here wasn't going to get you back." He says.
"Well we're here" I tell him.
"What's up Adriano, we agreed 9:30 it's 9:47" he says to Adriano now.
"I know but she wanted ice cream. I can't say no to her" he coos looking at me.
"They better be ice cream left for me tomorrow I'm going to bed. You kids are stressful" he says yawning as he sluggishly heads to his room.
"Wanna have it this night?" Adriano asks me.
"Yesss" I say collecting the tub of ice cream from his hand. "Wanna join me? We could watch a movie and you could sleep over in the guest room tonight" I offer him the night. Deciding to be nice after he went out of his way for me today.
"Sure about that?" He asks smiling widely.
"Yepp" I say as I run towards my room and he runs behind me.
We just finished our movie and had already downed the whole tub of ice cream.
Sorry Miguel.
During the movie, Adriano fed me a spoon of ice cream from time to time with his own spoon and I did so too feeling myself getting comfortable with him. In a friendly way though.
"Bambi?"
"Yes Adriano?"
"I have two more questions" he said.
"Okay go ahead" I told him.
"I feel it will be a good idea to practice our kiss before then wedding" he says with a smirk.
"I totally forgot I'm going to have to kiss you" I hadn't really thought about everything but now I do I internally gag.
"I might really just want to kiss you but I'm not totally off though" he says trying to reason with me.
"You aren't but arghh I don't know. I guess just a little though"
"Sure?" He asks confirming.
"Yeah" I say.
Just then, he moves closer to me and holds my chin lifting my face up as his lips land on mine. His lips were soft and I liked how this felt but when I was getting comfortable, the kiss ended.
That, was my first kiss. Shocking? Maybe but I had never been in a relationship before. I might not be a virgin but I have never been kissed. Until now.
"Want another?" He asks and I nod softly before he leans in again and kisses me, this time more passionate and he goes deeper, sticking his tongue out a bit asking for permission to enter my mouth and I slightly open it, giving him access. We continue for a little while longer, our tongues dancing together before I tap his shoulders signalling it's okay.
I've allowed him too much of me today. I don't want to let him into my heart and today I feel like I'm testing myself, crossing boundaries and giving too much affection to him.
"Is everything okay baby?" He asks confused.
"Yeah, I'm just tired." I tell him giving an excuse.
I was tired though. I'd been through so many emotions today. That's strenuous.
"Okay before I go, will you be my wife, Novalie?" He asks serious
"Hell no" I say and I chuckle as he clutches his heart as if pained.
Dramatic much.