Chereads / "The Only Way Out is: DEATH" / Chapter 1 - Prologue

"The Only Way Out is: DEATH"

🇮🇳kaneki_kazhai
  • --
    chs / week
  • --
    NOT RATINGS
  • 12.7k
    Views
Synopsis

Chapter 1 - Prologue

To all my shitty readers, I reincarnated in a game called "Death is easy."

For all the people who think their worries, fears, and problems will disappear when they die, well, I thought the same thing... until I died. Apparently, God was not satisfied with my shitty life, which can't be more shitty even if you add more shit to it.

_______________________________________________

On a certain blue planet, on a certain day, in a certain country, in a certain city, a certain person in a certain house was sitting at a table with a bowl in his hand. There was a camera in front of the guy, and it looked like he was preparing content for his v-tube channel.

"SEXYHELLO MY FRIENDS, I AM YOUR SEXYFRIEND 'NORMAN SHADE'," he exclaimed. "WELCOME TO SEXYINESS CHANNEL! TODAY WE HAVE SEXYWEATHER, AND HOW CAN I MISS THIS CHANCE TO COMMUNICATE WITH MY SEXYFRIENDS?"

He continued, "TODAY'S SEXYINESS WOULD BE EATING RED CHILI FULL FLEX SPICY NOODLES WITH MY NOSE. HELL YEAH, I AM GOING TO EAT NOODLES WITH MY NOSE! I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DO THIS SICK CHALLENGE, BUT FUCKING HELLTOHELL REQUESTED IT, AND WHAT'S MORE, MILLIONS OF PEOPLE FOLLOWED HIS LEAD AND REQUESTED THE SAME THING!"

Norman sighed, clearly not wanting to do this challenge. "OF COURSE, I SHOULD HAVE DENIED IT IF I DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT, BUT MY FUCKING SUBSCRIBERS THREATENED TO UNSUBSCRIBE MY CHANNEL IF I DIDN'T ACCEPT THEIR REQUEST."

"SINCE I AM DOING THIS SICK CHALLENGE BECAUSE OF YOUR SICK REQUEST," he grumbled. "DON'T FORGET TO GIVE ME A FIVE-STAR RATING. CURSE MY LIFE, FUCK MY SUBSCRIBERS! I WILL DO IT AND PROVE THAT NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOUR TRULY. SO LET'S BEGIN THE SPICY NOODLE EATING WITH NOSE, LIVE!"

Few moments later, the same person, Norman, was lying on the floor in the same house. The chair he was sitting on was also flipped to the opposite side of Norman.

"I can't believe it. I'm going to die this way. It's fucking lame," Norman lamented. "I didn't think that the moment I put noodles in my nose, my head would go blank. And why the hell wouldn't it? The noodles were so damn spicy that a chill ran down my spine, not just my spine, but my entire body and soul. Their was so much chill in the noodles that my eyes turned red, and my brain became brain-dead."

Norman realized he was in trouble as the noodles became stuck in his nose. "The thought to give up on the challenge came to my mind, but as soon as it came, it also disappeared, just like my dignity," he muttered.

Panicked, he tried to pull the noodles out of his nose, but in his haste, he pulled too hard, and the noodles were split in half. One half was in his hand, and the other half was still stuck in his DAMN NOSEEE. "If I were a little more calm, things should have been different," he sighed.

He tried to pull out the noodles by exhaling, but it only got stuck in his nostril.he panicked and fell out of chair. He tried to call for help but only to realized that he live alone.

Slowly but surely, strength started to leave my body. Slowly but surely, I started to curse Helltohell and my subscribers for giving me this kind of challenge. I knew I shouldn't have accepted that damn request.

"Curse you, Helltohell! What a fucking name! I am sure you will go to hell, and I can tell from your fucking name that you are a eunuch. Your entire family is eunuchs! You fucking hellhorse!"

Curses, not only i am going to die a lame death but my death also going to be watched by million of people

While thinking that Norman can't help but turn to look at the camera.

Norman last thought before dying was...

"This video is going to be viral."

And he was right, for it did indeed go viral - though not in the way he would have wanted.

As it turned out, his death by noodle suffocation became the butt of jokes for the entire internet. Memes were created, parodies were made, and Norman's name became synonymous with stupidity. It seemed that even in death, he couldn't escape his reputation as a "sexyfriend" with questionable judgment.

But what Norman's haters didn't know was that he had one final trick up his sleeve. You see, before he died, he had secretly set up a failsafe in his channel's code that would allow him to haunt the internet for all eternity.

And so, even to this day, people who stumble upon Norman's channel are met with strange glitches, distorted videos, and the occasional ghostly apparition of a man with red eyes and a nose full of noodles.

Some say that Norman's ghost is still trying to complete the spicy noodle challenge, unable to rest until he succeeds. Others believe that he's simply seeking revenge on those who mocked him in life.

Whatever the case may be, one thing is certain: Norman Shade may have died a foolish death, but his legacy lives on in the weird and wonderful world of the internet.