"Someone who has a crush on you? Or maybe even more than a crush? Someone who will treat you well at least, as best as i can offer you under our circumstances. This is a rushed decision, but I need t ensure your safety before it is compromised on my behalf." "I guess it is my only option, but who? Who has a crush on me?" "Hyeon, will you marry my brother, Seo Hwi? Will you let him to take you out of here and provide you with a safe haven? Because i promise you that you will not be able to handle what comes next for me in a place like this." Crush? What did she mean by a crush? On me? Seo Hwi, the only decent and honourable man in this kingdom…he had a crush on me? He was tall, he was handsome in a very native way like his sister and he had muscles, so many muscles that made me blush to no end whenever I saw him….I mean, caught a glimpse of him. And he treated his sister so well, better than i had seen any siblings treat each other and much more affection. My siblings were all so much younger than me, so I never got to forge any close relationships with them like the Seo's did. They were each other's confidant, friends, and even substitute parents at time. Seo Hwi was really a gentle and accommodating man, despite how he looked and he could warm the coldest of rooms with his heart, just like Yeon…
"Are you alright, Hyeon?" There was no explanation for my I shot up out of the swing and immediacy feel may face heat up when I saw the Young Master Seo make his way towards me with a worried look on his face, which was more than i had seen on anyone in my family since I was 'just a mere girl.' "Good afternoon, Young Master…." "Please stop it, you are the only one who has ever called me that and it makes me feel terribly arrogant when you do." "Unlike your best friend, the Young Master Nam?" I do not think that I have ever seen him smile in the absence of his sister before, but it suited him. Maybe this Young Master Nam was more important to him than he was letting on, just like Yeon said. now I really couldn't wait to meet this man who had such an impact on these pair of siblings who were already quite….different to anyone that i had met before.
"Hyeon, will you marry my brother, Seo Hwi? Will you let him to take you out of here and provide you with a safe haven?" Hyeon? Why aren't you saying anything? Has something happened? Is my sister alright?" "Your sister is the most capable woman I have ever come across, maybe even better than the Empress herself at such a young age. And the most learned as well, and i do not just mean book-wise. But her temperament is rather unusual for a young unmarried lady…" "that brat of a girl inherited everything of my father apart from his face and fighting skills, I got those genetics instead." "Including his temper? They say that daughters inherit everything from their mothers and sons get everything from their father, but it looks like that theory is being proved wrong today." "I seem to have inherited my mother's temper, it really took a lot to make her angry. My sister however, can manifest her anger against people into grudges and plans and whatnot, just like our father did." "You know, I have been quite curious about you two and you're rare instinct for survival, but now I understand. You both see your parents in each other, that is why you are so close."
Silence ensued us for a while and it was rather pleasant to just be in each others company in pure silence. "Yeon, how do you know when you are in love with someone?" "You know when you can you can read their silences; how they look interpret what they are thinking. Courtship isn't all being together all of the time; accepting their silences and a little distance between you makes the heart grow fonder…" "Yeon...can i ask you another question? A more…personal one?" "Go on, then?" "When does a man in love…take a woman? To be his own? Before…marriage?" "Why do you think that I know anything about that?" "Because of your temperament that is driving you to go against the people here. You are angry…because you are away from him. And you can only be that angry if you have been…close to one another." "Well well, it looks like you are more perceptive than I thought. Honestly, I never saw marriage as an option for me due to my background and disability. The judgement that I was given due to my condition kept me away from wanting to socialise and interact with anyone else, much less become a breeding horse to a man. But…whatever circumstance you are in, a man will 'take you' when he has made up his mind that he wants you. And he will keep coming for you when he wants to have you long term." "And what if he only comes once and dumps you after that?" "Then he is not the one for you, if it is just sex. But when a man puts in effort to have you, you can tell the difference between love and just sex." "So he will just…take you when he wants to? Is that what happened to you?" "Yes, I suppose so…"
"I heard that you were playing 'the Flying Apricot Petals, it suits the autumn weather right now." "Do you know about music?" "My sister usually has me tests her on everything that she reads, so I know a thing or two abut almost every single subject that has been written about. The song will be even more peaceful when you play it on a spring night." I could feel him edge his way closer to me little by little and I didn't do anything to stop it, i didn't want to. I was already stuck in a place like this and I had managed to maintain my virginity until I reached my early 20's. But the way that Yeon described love and love-making and the small steps of comfort and warmth that comes with being in a fulfilling relationship just made me even more curious. Maybe marriage really wasn't as important as society made it out to be. But Yen was my first and only friend and she was facing different circumstances since her lover was her brother's best and only friend, so they did have to get married for his sake before even thinking about the Young Master Nam's career. And as for myself…
"You are beginning to remind me a lot of my sister, and my mother for that matter. You women are always lost in deep thought half of the time." "That is because we women have to think over every thought multiple times before we put it into action." "Like what?" "Your sister…she is predicting that I shall be sold off soon, to be kept away from her." "That will not happen." He couldn't help but to snap whilst we took a walk around the brothel to pass the time before the big banquet took place tonight. "Do not be afraid when a man who loves you gets angry around you or becomes a little…forceful. Men always need to be in control, even when it comes to romance…" "How can anyone of you prevent it?"
"Hyeon, I know that we haven't known each other for that long, but do you trust me?" "I have…no reason not to, Young Master." "My sister has made a true friend in you and has therefore entrusted you to me. I am responsible for you from tonight onwards…if you shall accept it, i mean."
Seo Hwi was a good man with brilliant swordsmanship, but he was also silently lonely, just as i was. We were both the older children and had raised our younger siblings for the entirety of our lives, so no-one knew what was in our heads. But Seo Hwi's sister looked after him as a sister and even a mother sometimes. But as for myself? It was thanks to his sister that I finally caught a break and I didn't even have to try too hard to keep my sanity. I was paid for my advice and company in this brothel and not much else, my only other job was to secure food for us that couldn't be accessed by other's to bring us harm, as was the case with the younger kisaengs who were too difficult to tame.
"Young Master, are you alright? You look rather pale?" "I always have trouble sleeping when I am far from…my friend…" "Please allow me to host you in my chambers, you can sleep in my bed until the banquet tonight and get ready before that." "I am not sure, maybe i should just be with my sister…" "No, please! I really do not mind! I haven't taken care of anyone in a while and I…kind of miss it."
Stay quiet, keep your eyes to the floor and do not make any unnecessary movements. Keep your limbs still, your hair in place and stay pretty. These were the words that I had been taught my entire life as a noble women and I knew nothing else other than being submissive and quiet. But I had lost my family, betrayed by my own cousin, taken to a brothel and met an angel that helped me to live quite comfortably. Now I was rather curious about the world and everything in it, I had never even been left alone with a man before this. And now I did even hesitate to make eye contact with him, talk to him, walk towards him and take his hand into mine to stop him walking away from me. It all felt so…liberating. Even more so when i took him by the hand in front of everyone in the brothel and straight to my quarters where he had personally hired protection for myself and his sister.
But now that we were alone, I couldn't help but to feel awkward and small around him, even though I had personally witnessed Yeon tend to her brother many times. But he wasn't sitting down like he did for her, instead he was towering over me and quite closely as well, enough to stick his nose into my hair momentarily. It was enough to make me freeze on the spot in a strangely intimate way until he asked me why I wasn't personally undressing him for bed. "Do I…have your permission to…." "I have never heard of a lady asking for a man's permission before." "Your sister taught me the importance of respecting a man…." "I wonder why she taught you that? Hyeon, I am tired and i wish to sleep. Please help me…get to sleep." He looked at me so earnestly and innocently that I couldn't help my fingers that fumbled when I undressed him and I…I gave him my bed as I slept right next to him 10 feet away from him for respect. I wanted to take take in as much of his facial features as i possibly could before my own eyes fell heavily with sleep…as I took his hand into mine once again…