Imagine my love's shock when I invited myself to his squalor of an accommodation with a mini-feast waiting for him with an entire platter of food that his sweet-natured sister would have surely prepared for him if she was with him. But she wasn't and he didn't have a woman in sight to take care of him, and now that his brat of a sister was out of the way, there was nothing stopping us from being together. I made myself at home and I requested to see my dear cousin, and I refused to leave until he was brought in front of me. I waited and I waited until I simply couldn't anymore, so I made my way to the nearest brothel where he was hiding from me and I couldn't help but to compare myself to the kisaneg bitches whom must be falling over themselves to serve him. I waited and waited once again until he finally to me in a fit of anger. I had to admit that I did not expect to see him this angry at me; when he burst through the door he actually went in and started choking me before I could get a single word out. He looked like the devil had entered his body as he started screaming about his sister and her friend before I could offer him the deal that I came up with. I couldn't breathe and I was about die in the hands of the only man I have ever wanted, all because of his epileptic sister…he was going to really kill m ever worthless trash like that…
Suddenly the doors flew open and his men tried to prise this man off of me who looked like he would tear out my very flesh if that meant that he would find the women he dared to put above me. They all struggled for a really long time to prise him off of me until the atmosphere in the room finally changed and he woke up from his trance and actually let go of me without so much an apology. I could only try and gasp for air again as I tried to say something, anything…but as usual nobody anted to hear what I had to say. No-one wants to hear my deal, or my reasons for doing what I did at all, no one even wanted to look at me as they all surrounded my uncle's children as usual. Here I was in my best outfit and accessories that only the best money could buy and there she was in torn clothes and bruises all over her face and I was the one who was cast to the side! She fell into a situation that only a lowborn such as herself could so why did she and people like her always get all the attention and true hearts and affection! Not like myself and my family who had all the wealth in the world and yet my parents still weren't satisfied when they chose to take on different partners…
"Where…where is my sister? where's Yeon? Is she hurt as well?" "This bitch had us beaten and taken to a gibang in the other village. We were set upon by everyone in the gibang the moment we regained consciousness. We managed to run away but when I looked behind me she wasn't there, and she told me to carry on anyways to find you." A dark look was cast in his eyes and he started frantically shouting instructions at anyone who would listen before they all made their way outside, whilst Hui-Jee ran to do god knows what. It wasn't like she had enough power to change what had been done, no matter who she was.
I looked around the dead men I had brought with me to help complete this one wish that I had from childhood which was all for naught. I was one of the most noblest women in the land but nobody cared or pursued me earnestly, or wanted to fight for me. We weren't at all well liked due to my father's out of control business antics which made him and us a lot of enemies. More than enough times I had been involved in altercations and incidents with the people in my circle and I had been forced to do things just to preserve myself and my family name, including what I had to do with my cousin Yeon…so now what do I do ? What did I have that was purely just for me? Do I continue to torture this lowborn family of mine just to get what I wanted? Or do I get my revenge on all of them for plaguing me with their very existence?
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"You have been here for a while girl, but you dare not to pay your respects to your elders? How will you explain yourself for this?" "I am aloof and unsociable by nature, his is my explanation for you." "What an ill-fitting response for a girl who is supposed to be…educated." "If you truly have respect in your heart, then why all of these silly traditions of respect, especially when nobody outside these 4 walls respect you at all? And amongst this litter of women, are we sure whom you trust and whom is two-faced?" "Just what on earth do you mean by that, orphan girl? Who doesn't wholeheartedly rely on the Madame to give us clients, provisions and an income? Then why shall we not revere her for this?" "An income? Yes, i suppose that when women have nothing then we can only rely on our basic natural instinct to get by. But how doo you know if no-one else has tried other mean?" "My goodness, you really are a naive little thing, aren't you?" "Do you become wholehearted just because you say you are? In that case, why are you taking a percentage of their profits?" "How else do you think provisions come by, girl? Out of thin air?" "So you are indeed not wholehearted at all."
"How outrageous!" "Calm down! This is what happens when a whore leaves her daughter behind, she had no manners, no basic etiquette and no filter at all…" "Young Master, Seo Yeon possesses excellent etiquette, poise, posture, elegant tone of voice despite her high pitch, smile and her interactions with others are flawless! No wonder you keep watching her…" "keep your voice down will you! I am only watching her for the sake of her brother who would do the very same thing if he was here himself! You have no idea how neurotic he is about his own sister…" The only notable difference between the lowborn and noble class apart from there finances were their etiquette and manners, which they proudly flaunted everywhere they went. If i revealed myself, I would quickly be made a kisaeng and be sold out to every man here. But if i hid them once again....if i lacked any talent at all just like i did for over a decade before my memory loss then i might just get away with saving myself and my body from all of these men that wondered into this establishment for some sort of escape. Whoever backed up my cousin and ex-maid here must be powerful, but his brothel also had its own reputation to protect. They could bully me for only a short while and not publicly in case this place picked up a bad name for itself and the lack of talent I could represent, which will then spread onto the other ksiaengs girls…yes, i believe that i can make this work for maybe a month or two maximum…
"…she is no different from the other banished kisaengs, Madame!" "I believe that i have paid my respects today already, allow me to take your leave if you have nothing else to say." "How wilful and untamed, just like most orphans are…" "How wilful and untamed you are wife, especially when you lie bare in my arms like this." "Is that a good or bad thing?" "It is a very god thing for someone like me who prefers your company in this manner…" "naked and on top of you?" "You see? You do not have to be so crass about it girl." "Even though i am quite literally, naked and on top of you?" "Ok, now i want you to go back to being the quiet and timid girl that you appear to be in public…" "Do not laugh at me, husband! i am a woman, how else am i supposed to act?" "I want you to roar loudly just like you do when you take down our enemies, wife. You have no idea how much i anticipate our children to turn out just like you." "And what about you?" "They will inherit my good qualities that you bring out in me, but they will have everything that you possess, including your face. Wife? What is the matter?" "You want children with all of these qualities…you want only boys? Like every other man?" "Boys are the fountains of building a family, even you cannot argue with that. Hey, come back here in bed, do not walk away from me. Yeon?"
"Husband, just because i am silent it doesn't mean that i am deaf, dumb and blind. I know that you have ulterior motives for wanting children by my blood, no matter how distilled it is due to my condition. But there is something else that comes with my bloodline that you have to acknowledge and accept...or i cannot marry you, despite my love for you. And after everything that i have been through, I shall not be denied this." "What is it?" "Goreyo Dynasty is slowly diminishing before our eyes and something more ugly and strict is coming before us. Life will be hard for all, so I support your plans with our future son. But please grant me a daughter, a beautiful daughter to keep as my own, as a daughter without my own mother in my life. And please allow her to be educated, as my father educated me and you have found your use for me that binds us together. Please, allow me to keep any female offspring that we produce, no matter what any future law says." "You want us to risk our lives for female offspring?" "As you risk yours to marry a lowborn such as myself, even though the Emperor brought up my status. We both know i cannot leave my lowborn roots behind and you always tell me that you want to give me the world. Please give me this instead…" "Are you sure?" "If you want the grandchildren of Seo Geom, then you will have to raise our children just like he did, with all of them that we have. Please, i beg of you. Imagine what you can do with a daughter who turns out just like me?"
It took him by surprise the last time that we were together, but my sincerity must have moved him. This was the first time that I had asked him for anything in my life and now…every day I was locked up in here, my dignity and respect in society decreased, just like i had always planned so i could live in isolation anyway. But this would surely mess up my plans to marry the man that I loved and his plans in return to breed his mix-breed children to take over the world. There was a strong possibility that he would never come for me again and just abandon me here and now, our love story quickly swept away like a strong gust of wind. But I could not turn my back on this place, not after what I had just discovered and I…I could only hope that the could forgive me. Because even after everything that we had been though, there was no way that a man like him could just be satisfied with me alone. And after everything i had been through and what I had planned for my own future, I couldn't share him.