The look on her face when I got the mad idea to undress myself was permanently engraved into my mind for a while. It was all I could think about, along with her scent, her touch and the taste of her on my lips as I remembered the kiss she initiated for the first time. It was warm and full of longing…if only Hwi got over his stubbornness and let me have her already without having to wait this long. Every day I couldn't have her as I pleased tormented me, so much so that I had slipped up and gotten into my old drinking habits. But at least I drank at my accommodation and not with kisengs or any other woman. And Yeon herself kept distancing herself from me which was not helping matters at all. But at least she had finally finished with her deadline, and soon she was making her own money by selling her stuff privately which was more detailed than anything she had made previously. She had also terminated her contract at her uncle's workshop just in time so she could fully focus on her studies that were also slowly coming to an end. Yeon's hunger for education knew no bounds; if she were a man she would have most definitely not only become a scholar but one of the well-known ones as well. She had a lot of different interests; she had an interest in creating perfumes, teas, she had a unique dress sense as well and was forever mixing rags with noble clothes and somehow she made it work. She was a damned good cook as well and was starting to learn from a neighbour who gave cooking classes to noble ladies. Watching her make her way back and forth from here to there to whatever errand she had to run was starting to make me dizzy to the point where I had to catch a hold of her a few times and remind her to take some rest but she actually looked at me like I had lost my mind a few times. I offered to buy her s few maids to help her out but she just gave me the same look, but at least she took m along to start hiring workers for her own workshop that she was setting up. Her work was taking off and she finally had her own money and the last part of her plan was to have her own business, although she was thinking of putting it in her brother's name as women were not allowed to open up business. But in order for that to happen he had to be present, which he wasn't due to the fact that the prince kept him on a short leash and barely gave us time to patch up our own relationship. But it would be a shame for all of her hard work to go to waste at the same time so I convinced her to sign her business in my name for now until she met up with her brother next. It would at lets be another way to get him to talk to me again.
But her drive and her endless energy almost put me to shame and soon we had a little competition going on, on who could accomplish the most in a set amount of time. It was actually impressive that she could bring out my competitive side just like her brother and soon enough my work performance was only getting better. I had finally built a name for myself and soon enough I had more money than I knew what to do with. I was so thankful to Yeon once again and I actually got her a little gift that was waiting for her back home in our village. But her work was complete now and it was time for us both to go home; her to her brother and me, to no one at all. And it was putting me in a really bad mood, so much so that I started to stay in my accommodation a lot more to get on with my work and I would wait for her to come by and spend time with me. I wanted her full attention on me and nothing else and I made myself perfectly clear what I wanted as well. I know that it wasn't fair on her and that I should not do it this way at all, but I had just been recently notified that there was going to be a civil war going on in the southern provinces set by the King himself and I was eager to make my merits in the military as well. Now that Yeon had given me my chance at the palace it was only right that I fully take advantage of everything that I could while I could. I wanted power; power that could help me to not only attain my goals, but to give my loved ones everything they deserved. But in Yeon's case it was different; as part of my revenge on her and part of what I wanted, I wanted to give her everything she wanted, and keep it at the same time by my side so she would stay with me forever.
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I saw the look on his face when I came back home, it was the same look he had ever since we had finished picking out my workers, and it was also the same look that made my heart beat out of my chest almost every single time. I've successfully tried to avoid it each time by busing myself with cooking for him and helping him with his work but for some reason today felt very different. We had been having a really good time together recently, but we both couldn't escape the feeling that something much deeper was going on between us that I was avoiding talking about due to the fact that my brother hadn't patched things up with Seon-Ho, and the last thing I wanted was to be caught in the middle. Every single minute that I wasn't working or studying I had that memory of the both of us in his bathtub that wouldn't go away. I felt his hands all over my body all the time, even when I was at work, and I could not get the image of his body out of my memory, I actually couldn't help but think about it every single night. I was still upset at him about some things I went through in the past whilst I was living in his father's mansion but the Seon-Ho who had turned up in my room was very different from the one I had grown up besides and lived with. This person with me right now was free like me, so he had a lot of ambitions and desires. He knew what he wanted and he had ample time to plan ahead instead of making reckless moves, but he could also me domineering, possessive and jealous.
I tried to distract myself from his gaze as I reluctantly started to pack up my things as my brother was sending a carriage for my things soon. He wanted to pick me up but he had a lot of errands to run for the Prince so Seon-Ho would take us home. I asked him if he was hungry but he didn't answer me, I asked him about work but he still didn't answer. I was unsure of what to do but when I heard him announce that he was off to war as soon as he came back home I felt myself collapse onto the floor. This jerk had made me so attached to him that I didn't know how I was going to live with him waiting for me at home, or at work, eating with him and laughing until we both dropped to the floor. Even the way he looked at me and acted around me was so intoxicating that I wanted to just surrender to him every single day, but I still had something to do, not to mention my work in the palace and reconnect with my brother.
Before I knew it I was in tears, although I knew what I was doing when I made my mind up to help him…I didn't want him to leave my side. I was even starting to find myself a little lost when he was at work. I certainly at my resentments towards him after the whole mess with his father happened, even though I knew it wasn't his fault at all. But he has already done everything he could to make it up to me and more. I felt…like I actually had a chance for a future with a potential husband who would allow me to work pursue my other interests rather than just being a housewife. He could give me a home and I could hopefully give him children to fill that empty space in his heart. I've noticed more than a few times how he kept staring at children with their mothers, o obviously bringing back memories of himself with his mother although he still never talked about it.
My thoughts were consumed of what I could do for him as a temporary parting gift that I didn't even realise that he was standing in front of me with a sombre look on his face. He was already drunk and in one of those moods where hi wasn't going to leave me alone and I knew it, so I surrendered to him once and I stretched my arms out to him. He looked a little shocked at first but I kept m eye contact with him to show him how serious I was before he just fell into my arms and then into my lap. I lavished him with enough affection until he was satisfied and he fell asleep. I just held him in my embrace for a while as I kept scheming about what I could do for him when he came back home, unscathed hopefully. I was already taking care of him, even more so than what I did for my brother and I didn't mind doing it. He deserved to be taken care of and have his goals and ambitions realised, and he also deserved to explore life at it's fullest potential with a big smile on his face instead of hiding in his accommodation all the time. I pushed him off of me gently and I watched him sleep peacefully for a while for once. He no longer had nightmares of his father and could finally get a decent amount of sleep in him, which was probably why he was able to get so much more work done, almost twice the amount of his peers. He deserved a nice treat…along with something else that I had been hiding from him…