Him
I don't usually drink. But I was drunk then. But trust me, I don't usually drink.
I was laying down on some exotic beach, I forget which. Might have been Cuba, but it could also have been Hawaii. They all turn into a blur after a while (not a bad problem to have, right? I certainly am not complaining, don't get me wrong). I sat there, watching the stars, enjoying the noise of the ocean. By my side was my phone and the bottle of rum. It kept throwing notifications from time to time. The phone, I mean, not the rum. 'Ringing' rum. Now that would be funny.
I felt odd. For the first time in years, I felt…at ease. Since going back (get it?) it was the first time I could remember when my heart and my mind weren't rushing. No panic. No stress. No anxiety. Just…being in the moment. It felt so surreal that I couldn't process it. I kept expecting that whole wave of fear and uncertainty to come rushing back. But it didn't. Everything felt safe. Everything felt quiet.
How can I explain it? It was as if, for the first time since the thing happened, I was able to not fight it. No struggle, no random thoughts on how to fix whatever I had thought was broken. It was like my whole body finally accepted who I was and where I was. It was just me, being present, in that moment, on that beautiful (albeit unknown) beach. Now that I think about it, that feeling started way before. I just didn't want to admit it. I just hid it. Did it start back when Nat refused my proposal? The sensation did feel similar. Nevertheless, it was finally over.
I took another sip.
I'm not sure what else I can share from that moment. For the past six years or so, I had hoped that somehow things would go back to how they were before. We all know that was impossible. It had been impossible since the day I chose to place bets on sporting events of which I already knew the upcoming result. That started the path I took towards building a fortune. That never happened the first time around. So how could other things go back to how they were? How could I? I would never be that guy again. It wasn't just me that changed. The whole world changed, no matter how similar it felt at times. But still, at the back of my mind, I kept that hope. It was a lie, of course. But it was a lie that I kept hoping to become reality. Somehow. That hope turned into an obsession that would not give me any kind of peace.
At times I acknowledged that it was an obsession and no matter the outcome, I wouldn't come out well out of it. But it was impossible to get rid of it. I don't know if I ever really tried to, but I knew for sure that nevertheless, it had always felt impossible.
You could almost say that I grew up. Finally, no longer a naïve child. Ha, Jamie Adams grew up!
Another drink from the bottle.
Now it was over and it felt weird. Easy. Too easy? Too easy! Anti-climactic almost. As I said, before, it felt impossible to get out of that obsession. But at that moment I realized that I found it impossible to ever look back.
Good or bad, I had finally moved on.
Another sip.
I don't usually drink. You have to believe me. But that night…That night I was celebrating. Good or bad. Hurt feelings. Damage done. Lives changed forever. All these things summed up - did not matter anymore. It was finally over.
I felt her get close.
"Don't keep it all to yourself," she said.
I passed her the bottle. She took a seat by my side and tasted the drink herself. She then put it down, touched my face and kissed me.
I expected a new rush of conflicting feelings that would get me back to that awful place. No sign. I was truly free. I write this to you as a free man, at peace with my fate and my life. I started telling you this story in hope that there will be a definite message at the end of my story. There isn't. Not to me, at least. You may draw one from what you read, please do.
"Happy birthday, my love," she said.
**
People go missing all the time. At first, we worry for the missing people and we dread their fate, wondering, sometimes in horror, at what might have happened to them and where they might have ended up. With time, our feelings leave the missing ones behind – like our brains are trying to simplify the whole ordeal – they might be dead, but that still leaves us. It's awful what might have happened to them, but what about us? What will happen to us now, not knowing? We are selfish, for in the end, the lack of understanding weighs more than the idea of them being taken away. You were terrified for them in the beginning. Now you just dread not having any closure.
You can only die once, but you can live in fear and uncertainty all your life. Dying's easy, it's living that's hard – that's what a fortune cookie will tell you.
On Saturday, May 24th, 2024, Jamie Adams and Natalie Fisher, a couple living together in the suburbs of a university town from the west coast, had vanished. They were supposed to meet up with their friends for shopping but they never turned up.
The authorities were called in on Monday, May 26th, as the friends grew worried from their lack of contact, unaware of their whereabouts.
It was Emily Jordan, a friend and colleague of Natalie Fisher, that went to the house of the missing couple to see what had happened to the two. Not seeing any sign of them at the house, she decided to call in their disappearance to the police.
The families of the two were notified but neither of their mothers or any other close relatives could reliably suggest where the two might have gone.
When recalling the morning of their disappearance to the police, one neighbor – Daniel Cruz, mentioned that he did see them get out of the house, as they waived 'Hello' at him. He didn't pay attention on whether they got into the car or not, as he was walking his dog across from them, headphones on. Another neighbor, Sandra Patterson, recalled that she did see the car of the couple back up from their alleyway, but didn't pay attention as to who was driving and couldn't confirm on whether Adams and Fisher were in the car.
There were two traffic cameras that could have caught the car leaving the area of the house (a couple of streets away, from either side) but neither returned any footage showing what might have happened with the car and/or the couple.
Upon inspecting the house of the missing couple, the police did not find any evidence of foul play or any other clues that could indicate to the couple's whereabouts. A smart cloud-based security camera was found inside the house. Its footage analyzed, the police were able to confirm that the two did leave the house on Saturday, corroborating Daniel Cruz's recollection. But they did not, at any point after, return.
The friends and families of both Adams and Fisher were questioned. The consensus was that they were a happy couple, with no history of domestic violence, enemies or any other past evidence that may indicate any potential for foul play, either between them or by someone from outside. The police did try to emit a couple of scenarios based on the interviews they did.
Hypothesis no.1 – Adams had proposed to Fisher, asking her hand in marriage. Fisher said no. Not because she didn't want to be with him any longer, but because she didn't believe in the concept of marriage. Allegedly, this refusal did not affect their relationship to an obvious extent, however it is suspected that their disappearance might be related to this topic.
Hypothesis no. 2 – Emily Jordan disclosed that, as far as she knew, there were no former disgruntled lovers from either of their past-relationships that may have caused them any harm. She did mention that another common friend, Marie LeBeau, did make sexual advances to the two, being especially attracted to Jamie Adams. The proposal was initially targeted at Fisher, for a threesome, with Adams unaware to the whole ordeal. When asked about it, LeBeau admitted it, but said that it had been just a friendly proposal. That she was hurt in the moment by the refusal but that by no means did she hold any grudges against Fisher. No other clues were found in order to genuinely tag LeBeau as a suspect.
Hypothesis no.3 - A statement asking for help for any leads that someone might have regarding the whereabouts of either Adams or Fisher. That way they were able to link the Adams-Fisher disappearance case with another dozens of similar cases throughout the country. There were several cases of people of various ages and backgrounds simply vanishing. Some could be verified as occurring close to the same date, the 24th of May.
People go missing all the time. For some there are clues as to their whereabouts. For others there are not. The lack of evidence might be a clue in of itself that ties cases like these but at the same time, it could also mean that they have no connection whatsoever, it's only the lack of information and evidence that links them.
The police speculated that whatever happened to Jamie Adams and Natalie Fisher might have also happened to others that went missing around the same date, in similar circumstances, across the country. As to what that actually was – they weren't able to say for sure.
The search continues…
End