THEN. II
Him
We met at a party.
It was one of those corporate things where you get everyone in the building to mingle in a casual spot, cross your fingers, clutch your butt cheeks, close your eyes and pray that chemistry is being created. That the team is building.
I always imagined it like a progress bar. You throw the people in one place and see the bar filling up: 4%, 5%, 6%. Oh look, they're laughing! 25%! That guy from Finance went home with the girl from HR! 55%! Oh no, they had a fight afterwards - 53%!
I wonder how you can reach absolute chemistry. Supreme team building. Do you just fill the party with booze and drugs and start an orgy? 125%! Oops, that's too much cocaine for you!
In any case, we met at such a party. It also happened to be a pool party and you know what that means: people were being overly conscious of their bodies and everything was 65% more awkward (why am I throwing numbers all of a sudden?).
She was at the pool bar with a couple of colleagues, looking amazing, of course. Kind of intimidatingly so. Up until then, I had never seen her before. But once you did lay your eyes on her, it was hard to look away. I ordered a drink and while I waited, I tried to make eye contact, see if I get a reaction.
She noticed me from the start and as I kept staring (discreetly, of course), she spoke:
"Hi!"
"Hi!" I smiled.
She caught me off guard. The plan, the moves, the lines, they were all work in progress. The progress was 0%. I had no idea where to start. She seemed ready to have a laugh on my behalf, enjoying the taunting as we went along.
That's also the first time I experienced the look. She had such a way to look at me, that I felt my heart melting.
"What's going on?"
"Not much," I replied. "Getting a drink. You?"
"We…" she said waving by her colleagues "…are planning out our team for the volleyball match."
Right, the highlight of that evening was going to be the water volleyball matches. People were starting to scramble to form teams and have a little tournament. The planning of it was going as well as you might imagine.
"That's cool" I replied. "Need some firepower and agility into your team?" I asked as I jokingly flexed my biceps.
Listen, I am no Captain America, but I can hold my own. I am not completely uncoordinated. She laughed; she was impressed. For sure!
Another guy approached their small group, grabbed a shot from the bar and taunted them:
"Ready to rumble, Natalie?"
"You bet, Big-boy. See you out there!"
Big-boy tried to brush his hand gently over her shoulders. Dick. I know that move. The "I'm being overly familiar so you feel comfortable with me" play. He was kind of bulky. You could tell he worked out at the gym. But you could also tell he was packing a few extra pounds. As the guy walked away, I tried to brag:
"I bet I can do better than that guy!"
She looked back at me. For a moment there she seemed distracted, but I got her attention back:
"You can, huh? Don't be too cocky, now. There's a lot riding on this tournament. All the honor and glory in the world. And in the office."
I laughed. She was funny, she was cool. I won't go into her looks again; you get the idea. I didn't want to mess it up. She was something special. I wanted something special - I really did. I really wanted to get to know her better.
"How can I convince you, then?"
"Beat him tonight" she replied.
"Huh?
"During the match, help us win."
Oh!
"Oh! So, are you going to let him know that he's not part of the team anymore?"
She laughed:
"He never was. He's playing for the other team. The one we're facing."
Well, duh!
"So, what do you think? Can you take him on?"
"I can!" I replied smiling.
I had no idea whether I could take him on.
"Good! Then join us before the match. There's going to be a match plan on how we win this thing. Don't let me down, guy!"
"It's James, actually."
"I know."
"Yeah?"
"Yep."
I stared awkwardly. I had no idea what her name was. She saw me fret. She was enjoying it. She sat back, enjoying the awkward silence. I mentioned the look before, right? I could feel her eyes staring deep into my soul. Later it would become my favorite thing about her. It was always such a trip to look into those eyes and feel affection, desire, love. It was intense. But that night? That night those eyes were only checking me out, trying to see what I was made of, maybe having a laugh at me expense.
One of her colleagues noticed it, decided to spare me the pain:
"It's Natalie. Big-boy just said her name. I'm Blablabla and this is Wahnana.
Needless to say, their names were neither Big-boy, Blablabla or Wahnana. I just…don't remember. I'm not good with names.
"Oh, James" sighed Nat amused. "Not a good show of mental agility. Hopefully the physical agility's better.
She glanced at me in such a playful and flirty way that I suddenly grew the wish to sink deeper into the pool to hide my abs (or lack of). Then she winked. I took it as an encouragement. Adrenaline started pumping hard through my veins.
"It's way better." I replied. "You'll see!"
"Can't wait!"
Ok. Fast forward a couple of hours (and tequila shots) later, I was joining the team for the final talk before we jumped in the water for the match.
I don't know if it was the alcohol-levels in my blood rising, or the pushups I did in the bathroom to pump up my otherwise unremarkable musculature, but I was feeling good. Like things could happen. Big things! Great things!
An older guy, also part of our team, started the talk and everyone else was listening. Except me, I couldn't take my eyes off Natalie. She noticed. Didn't seem to mind. She looked kind of amused of the whole situation.
In the back of my head, I was only thinking one thing - don't mess it up, be serviceable. Be at least at her level. Don't make her regret taking you in.
Yeah, funny thing. She's actually amazing at this whole water volleyball thing. Yeah. So…she kicked their asses almost by herself. I…did stuff too! After every point or so, we would huddle and shout random encouraging stuff at each other. They didn't really make sense but they made for some hilarious exchanges:
"Nat, I see you flying over there, our little mermaid. Keep it up!"
"We got them, let's bring this home into our harbor."
"They're running scared, people. I smell their fear in the water!"
"That's just pee, I think someone…"
"Imitate the action of the tiger. Smell the blood in the water!"
"Ok people, final point. We got this!"
During the final exchange I managed to make one of my few saves, keeping the ball into play. Like an amazon goddess, Natalie jumped out of the water and smashed the ball towards the final point and towards our complete and utter victory. We celebrated the crap out of that win, hugging, laughing and boasting. Blablabla (it could also have been Wahnana) spanked Nat's butt in congratulation and I suddenly felt the need to do the same. However midway through the motion, I froze and because of the water and the others pushing me around I lost my balance and I ended up with my whole hand placed neatly and awkwardly over her posterior. And while the others couldn't see it, she could definitely feel it.
She turned around, roughed my wet hair and asked half-seriously:
"Did you just feel my butt?"
"Erm…I…uh…did…not!"
Her eyes grew with surprise.
"You know, unless you wanted it to, in which case…I totally did."
Her expression was so hard to read.
"Did not. Certainly, did not intend to."
She laughed:
"Ok, I think you had enough of my teasing for one night, James. Thanks for the help. We actually won this thing!"
She kissed my cheek and went on to celebrate with her colleagues.
"It's Jamie, for you," I whispered.
And that was it. As I figured out that she was having a laugh with me and it was all in good fun, I decided to do it. And I asked her out. And the rest is, as they say, history.
**
Her
We met during a smoking break, in front of the office building we were both working at the time. Spring of 2018, I think. We were both smoking at the time. I quit shortly after. He gave it up during the pandemic.
He was with a bunch of his colleagues; they were planning to join a marching protest for whatever was going on at the time. I can't recall exactly. They asked me if I wanted to join.
"I have to stay in and work tonight."
"Don't you believe in the message we're trying to convey?" he asked me quite enthused. "They should not be getting away with this shit."
"I do," I replied. "I really do. I also strongly believe in paying my rent and having a place to stay. Hence my working late in the night this week, all week." I smiled bitterly at him.
He rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders. I half-expected him to tell something along the lines of "This is how they get you. They trap you with no way of fighting back." But he didn't. He didn't really pay much attention to me at that moment, he was very consumed by the topic and really wanted to get in the street and march.
My first impression on him? Good looking. Confident, albeit a bit cocky. As I said before, the hair irked me. It looked too nice to actually be casually messy. He had a soft voice, pleasant to hear. That's all I can remember from that one time.
I let them carry on their discussion. I shifted my attention to phone scrolling. After a couple of minutes, I heard one of them say:
"It's late, James. Let's go have lunch."
They all stubbed out their smokes and waved good bye. I responded in kind.
And that was the first time I met him. Obviously, I didn't give it much thought at the time. He was just a guy.
The pool party? Yes, that was…maybe a month later? The whole building had been invited so you had an interesting mix of people from all the companies sharing an office there. I'm not going to lie - I was excited for this party. I had a rough couple of months at work back then so I was looking forward to just drink and relax for a bit. I had a few work buddies that I didn't mind hanging out with.
I think the excitement started the morning before, when I tried out my bathing suit and checked it out in the mirror. Whether it was my gym/yoga routine showing or just my terrible eating (or lack of eating) habits kicking in, I looked GOOD! The sight of myself in the mirror made me feel mighty fine in the most superficial but nonetheless satisfying way possible.
At work they were also saying something about volleyball in the pool. That sounded right up my alley. Yes, I was excited.
So, there I was that day, together with my posse from work. There was Bob. He was our team lead. Quiet and polite guy, I really liked him. He was a bit older than the rest of us, he had a 15-year-old kid at home and a very sweet wife that I later had the chance to meet. Great people.
Then there was myself, Ann and Clara – the girls. We were somewhat close. I wouldn't call us friends – friends. I hadn't spoken with any of them in years when the THING happened. But they were nice, we were getting along at work and as I said, I had no problem with having a day out with them.
Last but not least, there was Charlie – a 20-year-old that had just joined our team earlier that year after kicking some serious ass during their internship. They were so frighteningly smart and proficient in anything they did at work that sometimes I didn't know whether to like or hate them. And I mean it, they were such a force. Still are, actually. I think nowadays they have moved on to be an executive at a bigger firm.
Charlie was smart but was not really the sporty type (they can't be all perfect, can't they?). Because of that, we found ourselves in the dilemma of who to recruit for our 6th team member.
The debate grew more and more heated as time went by and drinks were being consumed. And then I saw him and I lost my mind. Nick.
Ok, so the thing with Nick is…I dated Nick for two weeks and three days. I was the one to call it off. What more can I say?
Nick worked in the office with us. First impressions: appealing. Interesting. Nice body. Kind of a big mouth (came with the body, I guess). He asked me out one time. I was feeling lonely, I said yes. It's a cliché, I know. Long story short, he was too full of himself (too big of a mouth). Most men are, but Nick took it to a level that I didn't want to entertain. So, I called it off. He laughed at me, made it sound like it was his idea. We kept it civil afterwards but his reaction really pissed me off. Had me develop a vendetta against him. He was clueless but somehow went through life like that with no permanent consequences.
I never told Jamie about Nick. Not that we would have had a problem with hearing it. I was just ashamed of having dated the guy and didn't want to admit it to myself, let alone anybody else.
So, there was Nick, he approached us at the bar, said hi to everyone and then tried to give me a hug. I dodged. I may have been tipsy, but I was certainly not brainwashed.
"They just did the draws," said Nick. "Looks like ya'll playing us."
Ya'll…Pff! My jaw dropped. He was mocking us, thinking we were easy prey.
"Ready to rumble, Natalie?" he asked, throwing me one of his intense looks.
I was SO pissed off. I smiled my largest smile:
"You bet, Nick. See you out there!"
Bastard! He walked away as I prayed for a god to strike his ass from the heavens. No such luck. I heard Charlie resuming our debate on who to get for our final member:
"So, listen, I was thinking we get that girl from Facilities to join us. Rachel, right? She's nice!"
"Forget your skinny bimbo, Charlie!" I uttered out of nowhere, hammering the table with my fist.
Bob choked with the drink he was sipping while Ann and Clara burst out laughing. Charlie was speechless. No, I don't usually talk like that. I was angry. And tipsy. And angry. See, I get angry just remembering the whole thing. Bob had to get up and go to the bathroom, he couldn't breathe. Charlie went with him, to make sure he's fine.
"We need someone who can bring us firepower and agility," I snarled.
"That's cool!"
Jamie was besides us at the bar, smiling and flexing his biceps (he was fooling around, I think):
"Firepower and agility – I'm your guy" he said.
Whether it was my anger running high, the alcohol making me lose it for good, Ann and Clara almost falling from their chairs from laughter or all of the above – I was sold. There he was, my knight in shining armor.
I decided to tease him for a bit, see if he can take it. He could. We decided he was going to be our 6th.
"Don't let me down, guy!"
"It's James, actually."
"I know."
"Yeah?"
"Yep."
"I'm Ann, that's Clara and Natalie!"
Ann had come down from her stool and started shaking his hand. He smiled:
"Nice to meet you, Ann. Clara! Uhm…"
"It's Natalie" I replied, laughing. "Wow, James" I sighed. "Not a good show of mental agility. Hopefully the physical agility's better."
"It's way better." he said. "You'll see!"
It wasn't. He was decent, better than Charlie but he wasn't joining the pro league any time soon. But it was enough to give us a chance. I – on the other hand, played my ass off and we won. We had actually won.
The look on Nick's face after the last point. Priceless! It made my day. It made my life.
Someone put some champagne glasses in our hands and in a few minutes, I went from tipsy to drunk. I wasn't the only one. As we were hugging it out in celebration, I could feel Jamie's hand lingering a bit too long on my behind.
"Did you just feel my butt?" I asked, pretending to be upset.
"Erm…I…uh…did…not!"
He was falling apart right before my eyes. I admit, I was having too much fun. I kept being serious and hard to read while he would not stop talking:
"You know, unless you wanted it to, in which case…I totally did. Did not. Certainly, did not intend to."
"Ok, I think you had enough of my teasing for one night, James."
I gave him a hug and kissed him on the cheek. As I letting him go from the embrace, I could feel Ann literally jumping on him, wanting to get her share of celebrating. I didn't think much of it. I burst out laughing and went on to mingle with the others.
Five minutes later, I couldn't see either of them.
"Hey, have you guys seen Ann?" I asked Clara.
"No idea." she replied.
"Oh, I see her!" said Charlie, pointing across the pool from us.
Ann was somehow still in Jamie's arms. They were making out.
Bummer. Such a bummer!
But I didn't let that ruin my night. I had vanquished my nemesis in true battle and I was really happy about it. Still, I couldn't help feel like something was missing. You defeat the dragon in battle, you should also get to keep the boy.
The universe did seem to hear me. I found out later that Ann had gotten sick shortly after and threw up all over him. The very next week I received a friend request from him. We chatted for a while and then we started dating.