It was as If the air was finally reaching his lungs after years of being underwater. Without being able to stop herself, Elwen began to run as fast as she could. She climbed countless stairs and saw the light of the moon through a skylight. It was dark …
The elves had to sleep In their quarters. She climbed to a window and let the wind ripple her filthy hair. Finally, she jumped down and lay back against the dewy grass, tears of relief and happiness streaming down her cheeks. She scratched the earth with her fingers, let a fine rain fall on her body, and fixed her gaze on the sky. She felt alive…"
"Elwen woke up again. She sat quietly and got up to go and sit on a rock, by the river. She closed her eyes thinking of those wasted three years. A few hours after her escape, the guards l had caught up and led her to the King. She could still remember his cold and Implacable gaze. And without any remorse he had proclaimed the sentence, his wife behind him had not even glanced at him, closing her eyes to the cruelty of the man she loved.
In front of the whole court, she had been whipped, humiliated, and again thrown Into prison. She could have cried with rage If her hatred hadn't been so great. The guards had tattooed a second star on him, testifying to his escape. She learned that she would have a third when she was released.
She had never had It. His second escape had succeeded.
She watched the water flow for hours, thinking back to that wasted childhood. She put her head in her hands and sighed.
"The past was the past. Even If we wanted It more than anything, nothing could ever change it.
Elwen had learned It countless times.
It had been a long time since she had crIed, but suddenly she had the Incredible urge to burst into tears. She got up silently and went to splash water on her face. His shaky breath escaped between his lips.
Elwen slapped herself forcefully, muttering to herself:
- "You're not going to cry… Huh!" You do not have the right! You promised yourself to always save face! To wear a smile, even when you feel like you're dying inside…"
Elwen knew what she had to do. She had always known it. But she didn't know If she would have the strength to do It forever. Because If the elves were Immortal, that meant she to have for eternity this weight deep Inside herself.
When she was younger, Elwen wished that she had someone for her. Someone who understands her consoles her, and just takes her in his arms to tell her that It was going to be okay. She had found this person, a long time ago. That's how she learned that, Ironically, the person who loves you the most Is also the one who has the power to finish you off."
"It had been his most beautiful but also sad story to tell.
All she knew was that, at times, everythIng seemed perfect to you, life was good, the future smiled on you, and that In the space of a second, the world could change. The ground seemed to give way under your feet and then you either learned to fly or just let yourself fall. But Elwen, she was doing what she had always been able to do, she had fled.
She could see him again, smiling, loving and caring. This man who had known found In her treasures of which she was unaware of the existence.
At that moment, she just wanted to bring him back from where he had gone and never come back. She wanted to hug him one last time, tell him how much he meant to her, and hear his voice again. Just to be able to have the chance to say goodbye to him. Another chance.
He had been the only one to teach her. Learn that, In the world, there Is no good on one side and evil on the other. That there are no bad guys and good guys. Everyone had a little of both sides In them.
But above all, he had been the first not to judge her. He said no one should without knowing what the person had been through. He had accepted his past. He had given him hope for his future without knowing If he would be part of It. But above all, he had followed her where no one had ever wanted him to."
"He had been the hand that lifted you. The one that made you smile even when things were going wrong.
But like anyone who crossed his path, he was dead. And it was his fault.
Elwen remembered her body sprawled In the sand, a scarlet river flowing beside her. The dunes he had always loved surrounded him for his last moments. She remembered running towards him screaming, her sword brandished towards the Mercenaries who had been, for as long as she could remember, after her.
She had seen him fall In slow motion, the sand heaving beneath him, swirling around his skull. She remembered finding him even handsome in death, his face eternally frozen In morbid youth."
"It had been so hard … To stay when she wanted to leave. To laugh when she only wanted to cry. But above all to put an end to the person she had loved so much. She had learned that the magic of a presence Is measured by what disappears with It.
That day, she understood that he was her whole world. But also that he loved her to death. She had promised herself never to say his name, never to talk about It. As if to keep her memory locked away deep within herself. Prisoner but intact.
He hadn't been the last to die by her fault. So many others followed. But his mere death on his conscience was enough to open his eyes, maybe not on the right path…
For years, she had pursued these monsters. Systematically killing them, whether warriors, women, or children. Their people had to pay for killing their love. Elwen had become a beast without heart or pity, having In mind only this son of Men who had made her so happy.
He had blue eyes.
Blue is like the sea, blue is like the starry sky. He had been the one who had opened her heart but also the one who had broken, shredded, crushed, overwhelmed with a dull pain. A pain she knew well, the lack, the guilt, the despair."
"She had spent ten more years In the Northern Desert, In the Forodwaith, hunting down the mercenary people. Until she was called back by Elenwë. She didn't even want to remember what was next. She had started to heal when something horrible happened.
Elwen was Immersed in her memories when the blond elf came to sit next to her on the rock. They didn't speak right away, gazing at the stars and the deserted plains. The wind picked up gently, rustling the trees around them.
- "You'll probably find this strange, but I feel like I've seen you somewhere before…"
Elwen froze at her words. Had Legolas recognized her? She too had this curious feeling of déjà vu without knowing Its origin. She was sure now that she had met him before.
- "I'd be surprised… I'm not from the Mirkwood area and I've been avoiding her for a very long time," she whispered cautiously.
- Why, avoid it? Mirkwood Is not very safe, but It is surely the most beautiful elven forest in all of Middle-earth.
- I… I lost a very dear one on my way there. Then I do not know. I Never wanted to go back there, she whispered.
Elwen wasn't lying. She was just faIling to tell part of the truth, she was hiding the more delicate aspect of the situation she had found herself In. After all, If this elf had always been in the army, he must have heard of this story…
- "Tell me," she asked after a moment.
- What ?"
"I don't know… Mirkwood, you…
- Oh… I've always lived there. It used to be called Vert-Bois-le-Grand but now It is just a fallen kingdom… The trees are dying, the flowers no longer bloom and the birds no longer sing. My sister fell seriously Ill about twenty years ago.
- You have a sister ! said Elwen, rising on her elbows.
- Yes, fifteen hundred years my junior. We are not very close, to tell the truth, I never really spoke to him. Her name Is Aldawen {Daughter of the Trees}.
- She lives up to her name…
- Each elf bears his name well because it is unique to him, Legolas murmured with a small smile that froze when he saw Elwen's expression.
- Do I have to remind you of the meaning of the first name given to me by the monster who was my father? Ilestelwen, hopeless girl…
- That's not what I meant, I apologize for my clumsiness…"
Elwen gave him a small comforting smile before continuing.
- " It doesn't matter. You learn to live with It, it's just a little hard to think how much this man could have hated me, she saw his questionIng look in the corner of his eye, and smiled at him. My mother died giving birth to me.
- No child is responsible for his coming into the world… Don't believe what he told you, he murmured, staring at the horizon.
Elwen didn't answer, staring at the black plains too.
What she didn't tell him was that hIs mother would have survived If her body hadn't been lacerated by long wounds from the same people she had later hunted down In the desert. His father's people.
She didn't tell him that his birth was shrouded In dark rumors."
"They talked until late, about everything and nothing, about the weather and their sleeping friends. Elwen was not used to being very curious and she tried to keep limits, not wanting to annoy their visitor. She was both relieved and alarmed by this elf, he was sympathetic, but the simple fact of feeling a kind of déjà vu by being near him gave her a kind of warning, a call to order.
She couldn't help but see so many people In him, trying to figure out who he was.
But his blue eyes only reminded him of the same person.